Yep.

Yes.

Our lord and saviour Loki Doki has blessed us with more Batjokes kissing. This time in video form. AMV creators, your time has come!

If Telltale refuses to make John a romantic option, then we will make it ourselves pff. 

also 2 days till the new trailer and 8 days till the new episode

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!! They ha better make this happen for real.

2017 mood vs 2018 mood

vs

extremely cursed bbb screenshot image brought to you by my friends on discord

This discord is a mist a ek

I blame fly and alen for everything.

Also brace yourself for Agent Avesta

She smile

Nerd john and furry john

ALFRED IS BECOMING EVIL EPISODE 5 TELLTALE BATMAN!!! TOTALLY REAL AND NOT FAKE

Bonus:

Bearded john

FUCKING NOOOOO I JUST WOKE UP IM SVRESMIMG

I STILL CANT STOP LAUGHINF ABOUT AGENT AVESTA

SHES A ZOMBIE

John gets progressively gayer as the episode continues.

*pulls up to the fanfic drive-thru window* uh yeah, i’ll take a fake relationship with a side of mutual pining and thinking the other isn’t interested, thanks

#*bored author’s voice over the tannoy* d'you want fluff with that? (via @amarriageoftrueminds)

#sure and if you can throw in an extra “sharing one bed” trope, that would be great.

How much is it to supersize to smut?

So if you get smut and fluff from a drive thru where do you go for angst and dark?

That you order from the guy in the trenchcoat in the alley. “You want angst? I got angst”

*sticks my withered goblin paw out from under the bed* psst kid i got ‘they both think the other one is dead for like seven chapters’ 

Reader: “How much will that be?”

Author: “Just a comment. Please for the love of God leave a comment.”

“Do you take fanart?”

Can a kind soul who has enough time on their hands swap Selina’s character model with Johns and record all the flirty/kissing scenes in HD? Here’s a tutorial x I’d do it myself but I’m really bad at this kind of stuff and don’t have time rn.

Imagine tho .. batjokes kisses. 

The models can look kinda glitchy and I’ll gladly photoshop those things as screenshots. 

Also aaahh season 1 scene where Selina sits on Bruce … but with John. I m a g i n e. I’m mad with power now that I have this knowledge.

Saving this for future projects.

BatJokes: The Kiss Button

Okay, so: I have this weird head canon where all the versions of Joker are so nuts they can actually talk to each other, regardless of what world/universe they’re in, via mirrors—meaning they sometimes see each other instead of their own reflections. What this means is: they can actually have whole conversations with themselves each other in, say, their make-up mirror or the glass wall of their cell in Arkham for, literally, any reason. As a result: sod like this happens.

Partly inspired by this beautiful photo set drawn by the epic @doctorhojo; go see and love it all!

Arkham Origins Joker: I think the BatJokes fanbase is getting out of hand.

90’s Animated Joker: Whaaaaat? I thought you LIKED that?

Arkham Origins Joker: I DID. [pouts] Right up until they made a fizzing KISS BUTTON.

Jared Leto Joker: Uuuuuh, what??

90’s Animated Joker: KISS BUTTON?!

Heath Ledger Joker: [wants to say something but is actually being beaten up by BaleBat and only privy to this because he can see it happening in the windows of their “interrogation” room] AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

90’s Animated Joker: What the Happy do you mean: Kiss Button?!

Arkham Origins Joker: [looking snippy and scared] I mean a literal kiss button!

[All other Jokers present, including Heath Ledger’s, look at the Arkham Origins Joker incredulously; he shrinks]

Lego Movie Joker: … [sighs and rests his claw-hand against the full-length (non-funhouse) mirror of his room (in the hideout of his world); for the moment, he seems rather motherly] Lethal, sweetie, breathe.

[Arkham Origins Joker—Lethal, as he’s been nicknamed due to a copyright issue in his ‘verse that ironically renames two very popular fighting games as Lethal Combat and Mortal League—breathes deep]

Lego Movie Joker: Good, good. Now: from the top; go.

Arkham Origins Joker: [nods and swallows nervously] Okay, so… [fidgets] [flails] [frustrated] I was with Batman—my Batman—and we were arguing. Everything was normal! NORMAL!

[90’s Animated Joker casually—very casually, mind—taps the surface of his vanity’s mirror (in his hideout in his own world) to prevent Lethal from spiraling into a loop: game-verse Jokers are prone to that as games can be glitchy]

Arkahm Origins Joker: (Thanks.) Right up until the Bat flings me into a wall (and drama that was so hot) and I wang my head.

[Everyone winces]

Arkham Origins Joker: Yea. So, like, my reality breaks and I’m suddenly seeing all of the dramatic dialogue things again and—and… [looks conflicted; struggles for proper wording; deflates; sighs; is dejected] … I saw one… It said Kiss the Bat and Win the Game.

[Silence]

Lego Movie Joker: … [worried; softly] What happened?

Arkham Origins Joker: … I tried to press it. [suddenly looks frustrated, angry, and hurt] I tried to press it and it didn’t work! I wasn’t close enough— [grabbing his hair] At least, that’s what I thought— [tearing up] So I— … I tried… to shoot it. [collapses in his cell and refuses to look up into the disappointed, disgusted, and disapproving faces of his other selves in his cell’s window-wall; dejected]

Heath Ledger Joker: [calmly, gently, almost motherly] And then what happened? [ignores BaleBat looking at him incredulously; smiles insanely to keep him quiet]

Arkham Origins Joker: … I shot the man behind the Bat.

[a unified gasp of sympathetic horror permeates the room er mirrors no worlds?; they all know Lethal’s Bat didn’t take kindly to that (as theirs wouldn’t either)]

90’s Animated Joker: [awkward but sincere] I… I’m sure he knows you didn’t mean anything by that…

Arkham Origins Joker: [laughs brokenly] And then I shot the second guy—also behind him. [hears the ringing of the other Jokers’ silence through the glass wall and hiccups so he doesn’t sob] I kept trying. I saw my bullets going through the dramatic thing but I KEPT TRYING. [sniffles] I just wanted to kiss him…

Tell Tale Joker: … That happened to me… [blushes as Lethal looks up, hopeful] N-not with Batman! N-no… Wi-with Bruce-ie… [blushes harder] I was… I was just so happy. I was with him, riding an adrenaline high, and I just… I told him I thought I was in love… [shrinks into a dried tomato under the other Jokers’ stares] … He… [covers his face] He asked if it was HIM that I was… A-and I—I WANTED to say yes! I did! I wanted—still want—to be honest with him! But… [looks at the ground] I got scared… I looked for the dialogue options—tried to find the best way to-to… [sighs] I-I couldn’t. I couldn’t see ANYTHING. There were no leads, no hints, no… anything. I tried to hack my own fizzing game—for a yes, a kiss, a HUG; anything! [dejected] But… there was nothing.

[Silence]

Jared Leto Joker: … [licks the top row of his metaled teeth—his nervous twitch] What happened?

Tell Tale Joker: [jolts having almost forgotten they were there] O-o! Uh… [chuckles sheepishly] I uh… lied… Told him no, it wasn’t him; that I just… wanted to be friends… [tearful] I’m such chicken feed, guys!

Arkham Origins Joker: Me too! [sniffles and sobs once] I break the rules—we all fizzing do!—all the time! I’ve never needed a BUTTON to go off script before! But—this one time! Just because it was THERE! Just because it was PROOF! The Fans WANTED It! [crying now; ignores the guard that’s laughing at him; curls into himself; hurting] I just wanted to kiss you, Batsy…

[They all, suddenly not for the first time, wish they could hug each other—or, at the very least, comfort the versions of themselves that are crying in some way.]

This ended up WAY more depressing than I originally intended; but, I think, that’s a fair reflection of them: I honestly think that, when people aren’t looking, Joker’s a lot sadder than he lets on. This might just be because it’s December and Christmas is coming up, tho: I always thought that, although All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey is commonly seen as the BatJokes Christmas song of choice, Last Christmas by Wham! would be more fitting for them; this is mainly because Batman is always breaking Joker’s heart, tossing it to Arkham or Harley Quinn, and [just—ugh!] always making a fool out of him; and, no matter how many times this happens, Joker keeps gifting his heart back to his Bat to be broken again and again; and, once you add Bruce Wayne… well, he’d be the someone special, I think, because he isn’t actually a playboy, is actually very kind and caring, and isn’t bound by the stigma of vigilante/villain like Batman. He IS still Batman, though, so… I don’t know. Maybe I just want to see/read Batman finally breaking Joker down one Christmas and Bruce Wayne swinging by Arkham to pick up the pieces.  (♦´. ‸ .`)

EDIT: This head canon is now an in-progress series! The series itself can be found under the tag #Joking Mirrors. However, feel free to keep an eye out for its partner/parent tag #Joker talks to himself because that is what I will be using to mark any post in which this head canon still appears!

Lego Batjokes Prompt #582

Barbara: We were looking at the report you filled to get Joker into Arkham and this seems highly inappropriate. So much so, we may not be able to let you handle Joker related business legally ever again.

Batman: *sweats*

Joker: *in cuffs*

Joker: Actually, Officer Gordon…it was me.

Batman: N-

Joker: Yeah, I filled out a copy and switched it with Batman’s. Pretty funny, huh?

Barbara: You wrote, about yourself, that you have a cute tushy?

Joker: *glances at Batman*

Joker: …yes. I have a weird sense of humor…and I’m kind of strangely proud of my butt.

Barbara: But then…what’s this drawing? I can’t figure it out.

Batman: You’re looking at it upside do- ANYWAY!

My Only Problem with TEW

is that it forces you to sit there and think Bruce and John Doe are just gonna be besties forever right? But in reality you know it’s gonna be like

and that shit is gonna rip your heart out slowly until you no longer have the ability to feel pain so my question to you, telltale games, is nOah fEnce BUT WHAT THE FUCK?!!!???!?

The preview to Batman #37 looks like something I would hallucinate in a fever dream. I love it.

THE BAT STANDS FOR A BAT

So I had a thought about what if Scarecrow hit Batman with his fear toxin and the thing he hallucinated about was the Joker and his buried gay feelings for him and then I realized that’s the whole plot of Batman: Arkham Knight

My Only Problem with TEW

is that it forces you to sit there and think Bruce and John Doe are just gonna be besties forever right? But in reality you know it’s gonna be like

and that shit is gonna rip your heart out slowly until you no longer have the ability to feel pain so my question to you, telltale games, is nOah fEnce BUT WHAT THE FUCK?!!!???!?

One of the many reasons I ship batjokes so much is because .. let’s be honest here, who else is more capable of handling Joker than Bruce? I feel like anyone else becomes a victim in such a situation (also the reason why I’m super not fond of Harley and Joker as a ship. I love both characters very much but I cannot watch how Harley is treated by J) but not Bruce. Bruce could handle him, he wouldn’t take his abusive shit. Bruce bites back and I think would be able to keep J in check (in a world where they’d actually be romantically involved I mean). Well more than anyone else ever could anyway.