AITA? My doctor said I needed a COVID test and had me pee on a stick that he put in his pocket before asking me to leave.

Sorry i just saw the words COVID test and got so honry i passed out!

Can we please stay on topic here

YTA

its so so important to follow blogs that will put a bit of softcore porn on ur dash. it is not only tasteful but also a key part of the microbiome

#mutual that is horny on main i would protect you with my life as if you were a monarch butterfly #i am planting milkweed for you #tit and ass milkweed #ily (from arborealgargoyle)

Further new discoveries have been made on my theory.

every autistic person watching this episode of dungeon meshi:

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

I was just grocery shopping and for a while I was in line behind the peak possible combination of parent and child, here is my 1 minute recreation from memory

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

holy shit.

Touching grass is not enough I need to destroy this golf course

abstract and modern art haters are sooo snobby like klein literally Created an entirely new pigment and then painted a canvas in a way where the brush strokes wouldn't be visible. the insinuation that people with no skill could reproduce that is so annoying because unless you are skilled at color mixing and painting you definitely couldn’t lmao

i hope it's okay to add this because i think it hits the nail directly on the head

Honestly, it's like picking up a book and saying "I know all these words, I can type, I could have written this" like there's no middle step between the technical ability and the finished work.

ppl using ahh instead of ass is the corniest shit ever like it actually pisses me off a little

white person online: yoooo bro was uhhh bro be like ..... goofy ahh bro be stupid ahh

Related best(?)/worst of aave struggle tweets

Unrelated to "ahh" specifically but these two are like the Hindenburg Disasters of aave misuse so I had to post them too

Can i be honest guys this post is partially canceled because i cant stop saying "and that's on fahrenheit periodt" like i cant stop

When your friend tells you something good, but utterly incomprehensible

Me when I use the blender that makes 50% of all turtles feel immeasurable pain

I have friends at Indiana University and they've been saying there are snipers on IU Bloomington campus. And theres a bunch of cops everywhere. This is wild.

It's because there's a whole bunch of students trying to set up camp and protesting against the genocide of Palestine outside the IMU. There's a lot of attention on larger universities for their protests, but do not discount the young people of the Midwest. We are here, we are speaking out against the genocide, and our conservative state leaders see our presence and activism as a threat to their status to the point that they are willing to escalate things by calling in the state police and putting fucking snipers on top of one of the most beautiful buildings on campus just in case they feel the need to fucking murder us.

The last picture is the aftermath of the pigs tearing down tents, btw. 34 were arrested and banned from campus.

Everyone call the IU President’s office at 812-855-4613 tomorrow when they open to demand the students be allowed back to campus and that freedom of expression be protected at IU.

this bit will be the death of me

imagine being so autistic you almost choose being a murderer as your carrer path. i love him.