the sound of your heart >> ksm.
>pairing — kim seungmin x male reader
> genre — angst
> summary — being friends with benefits with something you were deeply in love with was just wearing you out. unfortunately, you weren't sure if you could put it to an ending.
> word count — 500
"I'm very sleepy," Seungmin says as he gets into a better position on the bed. his head rests on the pillow next to you and he covers you both with the blanket that just minutes ago was an unfolded mess at the end of the bed. "sorry. I had a though day, is it okay if I sleep for a bit before I drive you home?"
You smile and nod as an answer, "Of course. Get some sleep, I'll wake you up in a bit."
As you say this, you intend to stand up to get dressed, but Seungmin's hand stops you from doing it. A soft touch on your waist sends butterflies to your stomach. He slowly caresses your skin before finally moving his hand to your back, pulling you closer. Body to body. Warm skin in touch and setting a fire. Your heart beats even faster than it did when you reached your high just some minutes before. And you just know Seungmin noticed it. Chest against chest, and breaths intertwining.
He doesn't open his eyes but he surely leaves a kiss on your forehead.
You're just too stunned to utter a word.
Why do you do this? That's all you can think of.
For the last couple of months, you've just conformed by being friends with benefits with him. Because he said he isn't ready for commitment, because it's not what he is looking for. So you thought this is better than having nothing. You've been hiding your true feelings for so long and it has been eating you alive. But then again, you were just willing to have as little as Seungmin could offer.
And it's moments like this when you wonder if he ever felt the same way too, even if he didn't want to openly admit it. You wondered if he felt his heart to the edge of bursting whenever he hugged you or kissed you. You wondered if he tried to let you know his feelings through those small, yet intimate actions.
Seungmin falls asleep in within minutes, but you're still awake, breathing slowly and trying not to move to not disturb him. You slowly separate a bit and see his face. His hair certainly is a mess, but he looks like an angel. You feel tempted to caress his cheek but stop right after you could even make contact. His lips are slightly parted and you just couldn't believe you were kissing him earlier.
I'm yours, but are you mine? The question runs around your mind.
He looks so peaceful, so fucking beautiful. And you can't believe that this is it. Why can't it be more? Why can't it be what you so desperately need? Why can't he see you're madly in love with him?
Your eyes fill up with tears. The realization of your feelings after such a vulnerable moment hits you like an arrow. You love him. And, as much as you want to hear that from him, you deeply know that won't happen.
