@rainbow-noodles / rainbow-noodles.tumblr.com
"autistic people read things too literally" yeah, maybe when we're kids. veteran autistics go through years of mistreatment and read literal statements as passive aggressive instead
autistic people ask our significant others if they want to hang out and spend twenty minutes worrying about how overbearing we mustve been to make them say "we can certainly do that, yes"
Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?
He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla
Criminal charges
Hey hey hey HEY
He’s been CRAWLING INTO THE BOTTOM CABINETS to TEAR OPEN THE INSTANT POTATOES and EAT BAGS AND BAGS OF THEM I’m livid but also impressed.
Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.
He’s not playing with it
He’s eating it.
I can tell because the bags are nearly empty except for a few small clumps.
I knew he loves mashed potatoes. I just didn’t know the extent he’d go to to get them.
We had him tested and in the course of that vet visit he stole
6 tips
3 of the ear light cover things
Our other cats collar
the ear bud of the vets stethoscope 
several hearts
a plastic glove
the vet techs hair tie
Also yeah he’s fine he just likes to steal
Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff
This is his ledge
His ledge is taller then my husband who is 6’2”
I am 5’5”
I have to get the step ladder out once a week and see what Orange Sherbert has taken to his ledge for safe keeping. It’s usually the remote.
Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.
WHY DONT YOU HAVE BABY LOCKS ON ANYTHING??!?
I DID HE LEARNED HOW TO OPEN THE BABY LOCKS BY HANGING OFF OF THEM AND RIPPING THEM OUT OF THE CABINETS YOU CANT OUT SMART THIS CAT
Me entering any museum: man I’m so excited to learn all the things
Also me: GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP
There are two dragons inside of you. One hoards knowledge and the other hoards trinkets. They’re both very excited when you bring them to a museum
“Zooarium, which is like a regular zoo but everything is in tanks because the zoo is for merpeople” is a concept I had not previously contemplated but I am absolutely delighted by it now.
Crows are scary They
Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q)
Yeah but have you seen this
A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.
Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill
I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.
Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.
That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him.
Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree.
That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.
Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.
that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.
Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice.
this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad.
i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.
a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.
i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.
Best birbs !!
your son is Beautiful and Strong
every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories
Such little cutie pies 😍 not to be cliché but crows are 100% my favorite birbs
this thread actually made me forget about my fear of crows for a second and now i’m in awe of these smart creature :0
Well now I just want to make short stories about crows….
Move and live at your own pace. Just as important, live for YOU!
you are not less talented than you used to be. you are not less intelligent than you used to be. you are not less attractive, or less funny, or less creative. no offense, but the reason you think you're no longer good enough has nothing to do with losing your abilities, and everything to do with a lack of self confidence and emotional impermanence that tricks you into believing you're impostor of yourself. you dont need to keep proving that you're still worthy of your past accomplishments.
So preparing things to cook and classical music make you go into full Hannibal mindset good to know
Requiem in d minor plays as I realize I put my cake in without buttering the pan. 🙃 imafailure
I think if Saharan silver ants had humansonas they would look like this:
Ship this is a really unsettling thought, please put it back lol
no it’s a good and valid thought and objectively true
I'm more disturbed by the idea of Animals having "humansonas" like a deranged furry.
No no it’s great. Think about it. Think about which traits non-human animals might value as most attractive about themselves that they would then attempt to... zoomorphize onto their human OC’s, in the way that humans give anthropomorphized cartoon animals boobs and hourglass figures and expressive faces.
Birds seem inclined to find us pretty sexy as-is, boy I imagine they’d give their humansonas brightly-colored hair and clothing and really loud voices. Bear humansonas would just be exhuberantly fat. Salmon human sonas would be huge and swollen and lumpy. Spider humansonas would have big women with wide hips and tiny men with disproportionately huge meaty hands.
Ship, this is dangerous water you’re sailing into...
that didn’t stop Odysseus and it won’t stop me
anyway I think lions would create humansonas that look a bit like Emperor Nero
Humans have some genuinely peculiar anatomy for animals in general and mammals in particular, AND the cognition to be frustrated with the limitations of our own anatomy, hence fursonas with things like wings and the ability to spin silk and venomous glands etc.
Which makes me really curious if Whales ever get frustrated with thier bodies and what additional nonwhale animal features they’d give their Humansonas. I mean, they’d project thier own favorite features of being a whale on the human template- being fucking enormous, for instance- but I feel like as we make the sparklewolfeagle, whales too would make ‘humansonas’ with nonhuman/nonwhale features as well. Wings, definitely, I’m thinking maybe also an armored hide because parasites are such an issue for whales, and if Sperm and Beaked whales are already used to making sonic attacks with thier melons, perhaps they dream of other kinds of damage like being able to spit acid or breathe fi-
Whale Humansonas are Dragons.
tell me something nice
if you grow mushrooms over a toxic waste site, chemical spill, or other polluted growing medium, they will suck up the toxins into their fruiting bodies with such effectiveness that they are being studied for their ability to clean up tainted industrial sites. it’s called mycoremediation.
if you do this with edible mushrooms, they are no longer technically edible, but on the other hand they make a great way to poison your enemies. this is called murder and it’s usually frowned upon, but they won’t see it coming and you get bragging rights afterwards about your ability to kill people with a pizza topping.
Sorry this was not precisely most people’s idea of “nice.” Let me add that you are a glow of comforting absurdity in an ever-more-fucked-up world.
I love everything about mycoremediation, but also
“Chris Evans was created when a wizard put the soul of a puppy into a statue of a Greek God.”
Jimmy Fallon and the Roots have HAD IT with Chris Evans
Letitia Wright as Shuri
BLACK PANTHER (2018)
dean winchester, sexy antifa
