Doctor: He’s in great shape! He could run a marathon!
May: Peter? My Peter? He couldn’t run a bath!
Peter: [in the MedBay after a battle, being Very Dramatic]
Peter: Are you gonna have to cut my legs off?!
Tony: Kid, you don’t come to the MedBay to cut your legs off, you come to the MedBay WITH your legs cut off
Peter: Why did you get a party sub?
Tony: There’s people coming over I thought it would be fun
Peter: We’re just watching a movie, a party sub implies it’s a party
Tony: Your attendance implies that it’s not
Pepper: We’ve run out of kids shampoo so I’ve just been using ours for the kids-
Tony: I thought their hair looked older-
Pepper: Shut up
Tony: I thought Peter had the hair of a 45 year old man, change it back!
Pepper: Tony-
Tony: Morgan’s gone grey!
Tony: How’s the new diet going?
Pepper: Oh you’re on a new diet?
Peter: I was trying to be a fruitarian, which is when you try to only eat things that fall from trees
Pepper: Oh?
Peter: It only lasted a day, I had three cooking apples and an owl-
Tony: [helping Peter study]
Tony: In his early designs, Alexander McQueen often included a lock of his what?
Peter: Front door
Tony: Jesus fucking Christ how are you not failing this class-
Pepper: [8 and a half months pregnant]
Pepper: Tony, the baby is having a really weird craving today
Tony: What is it?
Pepper: A Range Rover
Pepper: Tony and I never go to bed angry-
Tony: -That’s why we’ve been awake for two straight days
Tony: Why are you ignoring Peter?
Harley: I’m playing hard to get
Tony: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want-
Steve: How did you find America?
Wanda: Turned left at Greenland
Peter: Mr Stark there’s a monster under my bed
Tony: [ruffles hair] Why do you think I chose the other room?
Tony: You don’t have health insurance?!
Steve: I don’t even have car insurance!
Tony: How do you drive without car insurance!
Steve: Slowly!
Pepper: [coming into the lab] Hey, what do you guys want for dinner-?
Pepper: [spots Peter face down on the floor] What’s going on over there?
Tony: He’s not dead he’s having an existential crisis - I was thinking maybe Italian?
Peter: [voice muffled] Sounds good to me
Happy: Tony is selling the tower and moving upstate
Peter: What about Pepper and Morgan?
Happy: He’s actually selling them with the tower-
Tony: Hey kid! What have you got on today?
Peter: [looking down at himself, confused] A t-shirt and jeans?
[in the car]
Peter: Look! A flock of cows!
Tony: A herd of cows
Peter: Of course I’ve heard of cows, there’s a flock of them right there-
Villian: I’m gonna kill you!
Steve: Seriously? I’ve died so many times that my tombstone says BRB instead of RIP