Alive in a Box

its actually quite simple

feeling normal. normal feelings

This Sunday afternoon I was running for a tram and there was a knock at the door

I live in a city where you don't use the front door so thought "I'm already on my way out, I'll see who it is when I get round the front" (there's too much stuff in the way to even open the front door)

So I get to the front door and

... OK yeah I was a bit surprised.

A few friends know about this meme, live in the same city as me and know my address.

Four were at home and had yet to find a walrus with which to do this bit.

Two were about to leave the house to be somewhere else (same place I was going).

One is apparently in France.

Not one of them admits knows who did this.

I'm not ruling out the possibility they all know exactly who did it.

We're trying to figure out who it was on Discord and virtually everyone is saying "I wanted to, I planned on, but I didn't have the time" or "I couldn't find an appropriate walrus" or "I'd have given it fairy wings"

I feel like I'm in a reverse Murder On The Orient Express situation (spoilers I guess, sorry) where everyone had motive no-one had means but the victim just died anyway. Or in this case, received a walrus.

I'm being absolutely Agatha Christie'd on with a plush pinniped.

My friend just sent me the greatest home listing I think I have ever seen

I mean, check out this beutiful riverside home! Double garage! Upstairs access from the outside! Lets check out the inside

Open concept kitchen, nice, nice

Oh, the whole Floorplan seems to be open concept. Okay! That floor is a little odd, but not a deal breaker.

That bathroom could use an update

Need to change out that curtain

Okay, let's go take a look at the back yard!

Oh

seepage

I’ve got a new meme template for y’all

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

i think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh

I’m sorry for the inaccuracies, Doctor Yiff

no matter how I respond to this I don’t look good, well played. i walked right into that

Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.

Did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you your lung transplant?

doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them

You will die in 7 days

It took doctor’s like 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking for attention while a furry artist I knew just went “that sounds like crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right

Also I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I

You could if you weren’t a fucking coward

World Heritage Post

Art by coolfrogdude together at last

[ID: a comic illustrating the above thread as if it was happening in a theater. The users are mostly shaped like their icons, pukicho is a pikachu and hokuto-ju-no-ken is a gengar. The last panel is gengar looks back where a speech bubble comes out of the crowd to say, “you could if you weren’t a fucking coward.” /end]

I can’t believe I’m actually seeing this post

Magic of tumblr,

I am morally obligated to add the YouTube video whenever this thread crosses my dash

I’ve seen this thread more than a few times. But this is the first time I’ve seen this video. So thank you for your service.

read my beautiful son with so much wrong with him. No I don’t know why it’s like this either.

https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/kim_02_24/

Hi girlie pops this is WHY DONT WE JUST KILL THE KID IN THE OMELAS HOLE it is about killing the kid in the omelas hole

@charatea

crow singing along to flute music

When I read "crow singing", NOTHING prepared me for the crow going "lalala"

Papageno

Me: Okay guys remember that it’s important in improv to establish your characters at the beginning of the scene.

Students: ok

Student 1: Hello. I am the president of the United States.

Student 2: Hello madame president. I’m William Shakespeare and I’m here to assassinate you.

This is the best opening to a scene I've ever heard of

Here’s how the scene actually went as nearly as I can remember.

Student 1: I’m the president of the United States. How can I help you?

Student 2: I’d like to make a complaint about the Vice President.

Student 1: Okay let me just get out my chalkboard where I tally complaints about the Vice President. Let’s see, that makes five… hundred! What’s your complaint?

Student 2: Well you see, I’m here to assassinate you, but I don’t think that guy should take over when you’re dead.

Student 1: Okay let me make some calls. Beep boop beep boop beep beep beep. Hello? I’m here with— What’s your name?

Student 2: I’m William Shakespeare.

Student 1: I’m here with William Shakespeare and he convinced me we need to replace the Vice President. When? Let me ask. — When were you planning to assassinate me?

Student 2: I mean I was thinking like, as soon as I was done talking to you.

Student 1: Okay sounds good. Yes we need to replace him right now, one moment. Beep beep boop beep. Hello? You’re fired. Bye. Ring, ring. Oh, it’s my assistant again. Hello? What’s that? Oh, they want to know if you’re the same William Shakespeare who wrote Romeo and Juliet.

Student 2: Yes, that’s me.

Student 1: What’s that? He’s been dead for four hundred years? Okay thank you goodbye. Sorry they said you’ve been dead for four hundred years so you can’t assassinate me.

Thinking about something

For anyone else who isnt on patreon but wasnt sure what everyone else was going on about, this was the end of an out of pocket bit about escaping militants in panama.

Sometimes I draw comics where the characters are just nice to each other.

I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”

I’m just imagining this super ripped guy called Brutus being like ‘YESSS!!! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE FAKE PROSTITUTE!! Now is my time to shine!!’

so I got inspired… and had to make a comic….

*wipes away a single tear* Yes.

Miss Congeniality, but with The Rock instead of Sandra Bullock

He looks so ready. XD

“My time has come.”

Plot twist she’s his bodyguard

I specifically went back through my reblogs to find these

get you a man who can do both

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

We interviewed her, obviously.

update:

Such a developing story.

I love this story

This was a wild ride from start to finish

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

I have only seen this post before in screenshots!!!