🦋mariposa

things I am capable of talking about:

I asked midjourney AI to draw Le Vesconte

I just had a FitzConte dream. They survived and were in Henry's house? estate? with some of his family. It was near the sea. James was all bitter and depressed and rude to everybody. Henry was defensive of him to his family, saying they'd been through hell, that James needed time etc. Rose accused him privately of "being in love with his Captain". Henry was stunned and of course denied it. Idk how in this dream he had never considered it, but he realized it was true. He went outside to meet James. James was staring at the unfriendly sea (a storm was coming). I think he was wondering whether he'd ever sail again. Henry stood next to him. He very inarticulately tried saying how much James meant to him, still being a little vague - but he was forceful, passionate. James smiled for the first time in months? years? and said he knew what Henry meant, because he felt the same. That he hated how everything had ended up for them, but he was glad they were still in it together.

I haven't posted anything in a while but I still think of FitzConte a lot 🥺

Dream Song 29

BY JOHN BERRYMAN

There sat down, once, a thing on Henry’s heart só heavy, if he had a hundred years & more, & weeping, sleepless, in all them time Henry could not make good. Starts again always in Henry’s ears the little cough somewhere, an odour, a chime. And there is another thing he has in mind like a grave Sienese face a thousand years would fail to blur the still profiled reproach of. Ghastly, with open eyes, he attends, blind. All the bells say: too late. This is not for tears; thinking. But never did Henry, as he thought he did, end anyone and hacks her body up and hide the pieces, where they may be found. He knows: he went over everyone, & nobody’s missing. Often he reckons, in the dawn, them up. Nobody is ever missing.