Regarding Racism.
Considering recent events, I wanted to make a statement. Recently I was included in a post about the safety of POC in our online communities for having made a comment about COVID-19 that was inherently racist. I want to address that directly, and I want to iterate that my intent is not to defend myself or my actions. I said what I said, and I was wrong to say it. That I did not realize the implications of the statement before I made it is irrelevant. This is a long read, so buckle up, kids.
I will preface this by saying that while I believe that “keeping receipts” and posting them on the internet is generally not a good idea for many reasons (not the least of which can sometimes be a lack of context or tampering), I can see how sometimes it is necessary to bring about needed change. Was it necessary in this case? I’m a big believer of not raking people over the coals if there’s a way to avoid it while still giving a powerful message and I do not believe anyone to be without their own personal biases, myself and this person included. But it happened, and it caused a huge upset. What’s done is done.
When it first happened, I was angry. How dare this person imply that I was racist! I remained angry for days. I saw comments about it and wanted to curl up and die and simultaneously punch something for being called something that I’m not. As a non-POC, I was certain that apologizing immediately for my mistake was the right thing to do, so why did I get called out after I had already apologized?
Does that feel familiar to anyone? I have moderate social anxiety and a massive fear of public shaming. Feeling angry and upset about it was my human response to feeling like I had done everything right to address my mistake and still being called out for it. Well, let me tell you, apologizing was the right thing to do, but it was the wrong way to do it, and in the end, it wasn’t about me. It was about the systemic racism and prejudice that is inherent in our culture, and the way we need to recognize it so that it can be overcome.
I am going to state something that I have seen around the internet. It is not a new idea, and it’s something that applies to me as well as countless other non-POC.
By saying you ‘don’t see race,’ you are ignoring racism. You are not explicitly racist, but you are not anti-racist, and anti-racist is what you should strive for to build a better community. It begins by taking a hard look at yourself, your bias tendencies, and listening to the voices of POC.
Every person has an inherent view on race (and a slew of other things, like gender, sexuality, weight, etc.) that is shaped by their own experiences. Coming from a place of privilege, my personal view is that we should not have to live in a world where we have to say not just that black lives matter, but that any lives at all matter. Is it an ideal to strive for? Yes! Does it minimize the experiences of black people when we say, ‘all lives matter’? ABSOLUTELY YES! I understand the desire to live in a world free of racism where no one, most of all POC, must worry about violence or prejudice. But we cannot, and should not, pretend that we already do.
So here is how I, as a non-POC, am working toward change and how you can, too.
This is not where I give a long list of resources on how we can financially and actively help the Black Lives Matter movement, because that already exists elsewhere. Instead, here’s a list of things we can do to strive toward anti-racism in ourselves:
When called out or corrected:
- It’s natural to feel attacked/stunned/defensive/shame; it’s human nature to rail against having done or being told we were wrong.
- Acknowledge to ourselves that we feel that way and acknowledge that we are human for doing so. It’s okay. Most criticism is coming from a good place.
2. Take a step back and evaluate the behavior.
If we did not mean the statement the way that the person took it:
- Look at how it could have been taken that way. Maybe it’s time to start paying closer attention to cultural appropriations and biases.
If we did mean the statement the way that the person took it:
- It’s time to evaluate our behavior and viewpoint as a whole on the issue. We can begin by putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes, and then doing the things in the previous section.
There is a right and a wrong way to do this. Here is the right way:
- Apologize as soon as we realize the statement was racist.
- Recognize and apologize for our bias and the offensive behavior.
- Don’t dwell on it. Especially in public. This can exacerbate the situation. We may want to apologize to the offended individual in private as well, though. Self-flagellating is bad, mkay?
- Defending ourselves or our actions. We’re missing the point. We said it. If it’s racist, it’s racist. Those are facts.
- Apologizing for the other person being offended. This avoids the issue and implies that we did nothing wrong and that the other person reacted poorly.
- Broadcasting that it wasn’t our intent to be racist or that is was just a joke. If that has to be called into question, then we done did wrong.
This is important. So important. Don’t just apologize and be done with it. Take a look at our behavior and how we can prevent similar behavior in the future. Take a deep look at our internal biases and challenge them. We can do this by…
Educating Ourselves
Regardless of where we fall on the spectrum of racism (complicit, implicit, explicit), we can and should continue to learn about racial diversity, how to fight it inside ourselves, and how to fight it in the system. Donate to good causes. Spread the word and make our voices heard, as non-POCs for POCs, because we do have the power to make a change. Protest. Be active in preventing and correcting racism when we see it.
So, speaking of apologies, I’m going to start. Are you ready? Whew, this is scary.
I apologize for calling COVID-19 the Kung Flu. I see that it had heavy racist implications. It was a comment made in poor taste, and I will strive to be better in the future. Thank you for pointing it out to me.
Let’s make this world a better place.
