WINGS AND TEETH

Everyone keeps talking about "the writer's barely disguised fetish". But I still haven't heard about "the writer's barely disguised huge ass pet peeve"

sorry yeah we queer coded your boyfriend. he’s arguing with his brash and emotionally reserved rival over something trivial for comedic effect. they have a special, vaguely suggestive bond that sets them apart. hm? oh uhh. yes they are blue and red

shoutout to whoever decided to mount these fluorescent lights at my work in a configuration I like to call "Handrail Roulette"

dont worry baby we'll make this slaughterhouse into a slaughterhome🫶

You'll never fuck a weird bitch if you have no whimsy

yeah, this is my pet knight, she's a rescue. i gave her a brief act of mercy and she followed me home and sat outside my door to guard me from intruders. she swore her undying allegiance to me in exchange for a gift of grace and now she sleeps at the foot of my bed and weeps when im late coming home. and yeah, she only eats wet food because she's a snob, also.

Welcome to another edition of, time is a linear constant that we can't escape while we occupy this dimension.

Every day is a Day when you're friends with Catholics

Leading me to believe every day must be even more of a Day when you're Catholic

Catholics be like: today is the feast of St. Donwick of Transylrock he’s the patron saint of beds because he was sentenced to death in the town square via suffocation by pillows.

This Day in Buster… January 18, 1926 “Seven Chances,” with the title “Busters miljoner,” opens in Sweden.

Greatest under appreciated emojis

Safety pin

🧷

Curling stone

🥌

Derelict house

🏚️

Having to listen to Lana Del Rey in your gay friends’ cars and pretend it doesn’t sound like an old man trying to read a poem on his deathbed

I’m so√﹀\_︿╱﹀╲/╲︿_/︺╲▁︹_/﹀\_︿╱▔︺\/\︹▁╱﹀▔╲︿_/︺▔╲▁︹_/﹀▔\⁄﹀\╱﹀▔︺\︹▁︿╱\╱﹀▔╲︿_/︺▔\︿╱\︿︹_/▔﹀\_︿╱▔︺\︹╱﹀▔╲︿_/︺▔\╱﹀╲▁︹_/﹀\_︿╱▔︺\︹▁︿⁄╲︿╱﹀╲

hey has anyone seen my potion that turns you into the dow jones

Your wha\ | | | | | | | \_

why the hell did they write it this way

Do not ask for whom the pussy willow pops. It pops for thee

Your goal should be to get weirder with age and im not kidding. Become that odd estranged extended family member that owns a whacky home wherein a powerful magical item is kept that is the catalyst for the story of a children's adventure novel protagonist