honey nut queerios

Vampire and his human wife after years of marriage

Charles took her to macy’s

How DARE Tolkien omit in the final draft the information that the traditional hobbit marriage custom is to have unspoken vibes for years and then disappear without explanation for an indeterminate length of time!?

#where's the fic where bilbo returns with thorin in tow and no one bats an eye#like#'he married a dwarf did he? well he always was an odd fellow'#'good day to you master dwarf how's your husband?'#and thorin is just ?????#'how do they know i'm courting him? did he show them the mithril shirt?'#just give me all the hilarious culture clashes ok

@finegoddamnit​ how dare you hide this in the tags

so that whole time merry, pippin, sam, and frodo are gone the whole shire is losing their minds arguing over who married who.

life tip: replace those “i’m sorry”s with “thank you”s!

for instance, instead of saying “i’m sorry that i crashed my car into your house” say, “thank you that i crashed my car into your house,”

letting the days go by

here are some things I just heard:

some things I heard myself:

literally every minor sound from the street carries up to us since it’s so narrow, last year this happened:

Is your dad Ron Swanson? (via blooper2112)

this is the money axe of good fortune, reblog to receive money and axes

the nature of humanity is that friend groups in public being very loud is obnoxious and annoying and need to be more mindful of others but my friend group in public being loud is joyful and lively and everyone giving us looks is a miserable friendless Grinch that needs to appreciate life

stop being pretentious in the notes and acting like you've never been annoyed by the same behavior u exhibit with your friends <3 nature of humanity is that we're all simultaneously the loud children in the street AND the grumpy annoyed old man who doesn't return footballs

nature of humanity is that we're all big fat hypocrites! thank you

taylor swift trying to figure out how to incorporate entry-level feminist rhetoric into her lyrics without alienating her right-wing fanbase who make up half her sales and also trying to figure out how to merge her innocent and virginal country-pop white girl image with the instagram baddie aesthetic she’s trying to steal from black and brown women

Writing period dramas in the discord, lads

@inber you have tapped a deep vein here

??????

RB IF YOU AGREE

I, for one, do not want to stop wearing a mask. I often wander around stores slack jawed and dead eyed in amazement like a caveman who has just been released from a glacier and it’s a little less scary to the other patrons if they can’t see my mouth.

Under the mask I’m like:

Report Disney, Report Universal, Knotts, the Large Golf Courses.

Report them en mass and force their business behavior to change.

If you want to report water waste by Disney, Nestle, Universal, Palm Springs Golf Course, etc., go here and select “multiple types of waste”, because nothing else actually fits real wasters like them.  (The other nine options are about ratting out your neighbors [7], complaining about cleanliness in hotels [1], or complaining about restaurants serving water unasked [1]. Fuck all of these.) 

“Multiple types of waste” requires a comment, but somehow I don’t think anyone on Tumblr will have any problems sharing their opinion.  In vast detail, if necessary.

You can also take photos of Disney’s, Knotts’, Universal’s, etc. water waste and attach it to the report.

This can be done through desktop or mobile.

Have fun!

1313 Disneyland Dr, Anaheim, CA 92802 (Disneyland)

37188 Country Road 28, Woodland, CA 95695 (Alfalfa farming - Alfalfa irrigation is the #1 use of water in California, this address goes to a big multinational agri business that exports, effectively exporting water out of the US)

2821 Healy Road, Merced CA, 95341 (Alfalfa)

711 Middle 2 Rock Rd, Petaluma CA 94952 (Alfalfa)

1097 E Murray Canyon Dr, Palm Springs, CA 92264 (Indian Canyons Golf Resort)

301 N Belardo Rd, Palm Springs, CA 92262 (O'Donnell Golf Club - members only)

just putting some ideas out there..

Will this cause a massive change? Don’t know will.

Will it cause hell for Disney and other corps?

Will it send a message to the bureaucracy?

Hell yes.

When people struggle to pay water bills, when people are dying of thirst on the streets we shouldn’t snitch on neighbors.

Corporations like Disney got us into this mess and they aren’t going to hide from the consequences.

It’s dark in here- *gasps in excitement* OHH SARAH!

OHH SARAH! *giggles like a little kid* OHhHhH!!

My ceiling is filled with blue lights… and stars and everything!!

OH Sarah! I can go to bed at night looking at this. OHHHH it’s beautiful!

ppl forget the innocence of the elderly… if there was ever a glimpse of them as a child, this is it

“I can go to bed at night looking at this!” 🥺✨

I love grandmothers. I miss mine every single day. This is beautiful.

I have one! I’ll deadass be in my room with it on listening to music and disassociating for hours 😂

It has a buncha colors but these are my faves

Purple bc insanely gorgeous 100/10 just beautiful

Then the light blue/green makes me feel like I’m underwater, 11/10 love to imagine I’m drowning

And then dark blue bc it feels like I’m in space, 10/10 would love to go there and stop breathing

@haileyhurts where did you get it?

I would love to cry my eyes out in a room this pretty

@yanderrre you can just go to galaxylight.com or if you dont feel like typing: shorturl.link/galaxy

My cat trips balls when I use mine 😂 the stars are lasers so she goes nuts thinking it’s a 1000 laser light toys!! Still cracks me up every time

Same energy