• im on the bus and my 2-year-old won’t stop crying, except you just smiled at them and they did
• i asked you to babysit one time and now my child keeps asking when you will spend time with them again
• you asked me to the store with you and your child, and now my distant relative we met thinks im married with a baby 
• we are friends and my child’s first word was your name and im jealous but also kind of endeared
• you’ve been sleeping at mine because your house is being renovated and we aren’t even dating, yet every time you wake up to the baby crying and sigh, “i’ll go” i feel like we might as well be married
• we’ve been on a few dates and my child just asked us when we are getting married
• our children are in the same class and we both hate their teacher, eventually the parents’ evenings are just us competing who can call out snarkier comments
• we are the only two parents who agreed to attend the school trip (bonus: “so i guess we share this hotel room?”)
• our children are best friends….yeah
• “i’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually nevermind i agree, that shirt is horrendous”
• you crouched down to coo at my baby but i forgot to tell you their favorite thing to do is to play with people’s hair and now they won’t let go of you

Congratulations, Lakewood. Happy one hundred years of lying to yourself. Lakewood is cursed. People die in this town. All the time and we act like nothing happened.

if u wanna ship with me u gotta be ready for kinky smut and heartbreaking tragedy

“ is it bad i really want to kiss you right now? ” “ do me a favor, kiss my ass. ” “ they can all just kiss my ass. ” “ i kissed someone today. ” “ i kissed a girl/boy and i liked it. ” “ kissing burns calories you know. ” “ my lips really want to meet yours. ” “ so are we going to kiss or not? ” “ i sent you a bunch of kiss emojis. ” “ don’t talk, just kiss me. ” “ i really enjoyed our kiss last night. ” “ you make me want to kiss you. ” “ you owe me a kiss. ” “ pucker up. ” “ read my lips, no. ” “ your eyes say no but your lips say yes. ” “ i just want to kiss you. ” “ i miss your lips. ” “ give me a kiss. ” “ blow a kiss my way for good luck. ” “ ever kiss in the rain? ” “ ever kiss under water? ” “ it was just a kiss, that’s all. ” “ a kiss doesn’t mean anything. ” “ i love when our lips meet. ” “ where do you want me to kiss you? ” “ i want to either kiss you or kill you right now. ” “ did you really just kiss him/her? ” “ friends aren’t allowed to kiss one another. ” “ kiss me one more time. ” “ want to make out? ” “ you’re a terrible kisser. ” “ teach me how to kiss? ” “ i remember our first kiss. ” “ your lips are calling my name. ” “ let’s just kiss already. ”