An inchworm that makes an accordion noise when it moves

14 y old me didnt think i’d live to be 16 but i’m 23 now and im blowin this shit out of the water. believe in urself

i just realized im only 22

dad?

answer his question

Don’t disappoint him

Wait a minute…

This is what American politics is like

The only problem with building a home in the desert is how often Enderman try to aggressively offer you sand. 

He’s nervous

“That’s cold. Hmu tho” asgsghASJHasjsdhaJSKjash

PBE Preview: Dark Cosmic Jhin, Karma and Shaco

mf opened a whole ass galaxy

The breadsticks thing to me is hilarious I think it must be another Europe/America thing bc my whole life ‘breadsticks’ have been these hard crunchy thin stick things you buy them at the supermarket and it says breadsticks on the box Never in my life has anyone around me referred to an actual stick of bread as a breadstick lmao But then we don’t have Olive Garden either

wait, that’s not what they’re talking about?

Are you telling me this meme is not about grissini? My life is a lie!

WHAT

I… did wonder why there would be such a focus on going to somewhere with unlimited dry wheat twigs.  Googling ‘olive garden breadsticks’ does seem to suggest a tastier thing.

Huh.

this changes everything

I mean, I thought it was odd that they everyone was so excited about breadsticks… but then I thought, well, it’s America…

Wait they’re talking about actual bread???

grissini:

breadsticks:

… I want American breadsticks. ;_;

@goodbyecassiel - this is the Great Breadstick Misunderstanding, companion to the Epic Lemonade Confusion post

@charlottedabookworm my life is a lie

Omfg same

wtaf why did nobody ever tell us they were talking about actual bread?!?!

We literally did tell you. We. We used the word BREAD.

but………… those aren’t breadsticks!

We call the first ones “pretzel rods” or “pretzel sticks” in America. They also have salt on them over here, and I love them.

Anyway if you’re from the US and you ever wanted to know what tumblr feels like from a non-USAmerican perspective (please note that the rest of the world is not a monolith either and none of these apply without exception):

Fellow non-USAmericans, please add anything else you can think of.

ive been to us (mostly georgia) a bunch because of family, but i still have stuff i cant wrap my head around

- drive through bank

- a waffle house (all same brand) on every dang corner

- 2h drives there are treated like 20min drives in europe, like wtf, at 2h I need bathroom breaks ok?!

- outdoors smells like car no matter location/time

- needing to take a jacket in 35C/99% humidity weather cause all indoors locations (including home) are 18C and arid

- the public water fountain thing cant that spread, right?

- ALL THE SUBURBS LOOK THE SAME

I’m from America, but here’s the thing about America: it is BIG. There are regions of America that are vastly different from some other regions. I happen to live in the state of Michigan. Here’s a visual on where I live.

There are no Waffle Houses where I live. And that makes me sad. Because those waffles are the BEST.

Living in America is crazy, because there are so many different groups and cultures everywhere. We have a chain of stores called Meijer’s that only exists in rural areas in six states out of fifty and nobody else knows what they are.

I can testify that there are Meijer’s in urban areas as I live in an urban area with a Meijer in it.

Spoiler alert, it will not

I’m having a fuckin aneurysm

Well ya see here, you got the starbucks, they do the coffee and the cookies in the morning and they got that internet thing in the store and i gotta tell ya, imeanijushimeanijushgottathemBAZONKERSondatderescreenAH HEH HEH HEHso anywyas, the starbucks people are gonna Ban….. the internet. Not the internet but the… thethethethethetheshechPORNsites.*scoff*. So you got this guy at the bottom, Oh excuse me, this LADY at the bottom, and she says “Damn, no more fap and frap fridays”. Now folks, i ain’t gotta tell yas what a fap is, i mean heh heh, scumbannawannajigglebungaWE ALL DO IT HEH HEHEH. So a frap is a type of drink at starbucks, grumbaannasugamushugnaerrrr It’s like a milkshake but really runny. So what she does is take fap, because of the internet porn, and fap because of the tallywackin some guys are doin, and BOOM! there’s the punchline.

The kids at my cousin’s school had to make posters of their personal heroes

me not reading the caption and trying to find a pattern

Hey, everyone

guess what