A MATHEMATICALLY PERFECT SLUR FOR ORPHANS

irrationally aggravated by people who see me talk about body hair in some fashion and go “but what if I shave for sensory reasons?” the fuck does that have to do with me? are you asking me for permission? absolution? you want me to hand you an exemption card? “but what if I shave for sensory reasons?” well since you feel the need to ask I guess the answer is you have to go to feminist jail and there’s now a bounty on your head. whatever.

Right yeah exactly. It’s kind of the same thing as the rap discourse going on… no one actually cares what music you listen to, no one is keeping tabs, and that voice in your head insisting you have to convince the world that you’re an honorable exception with defensible excuses, and everyone should absolve you personally of whatever trend they’re irritated by? That’s the devil maybe.

This rubs me the wrong way. People who seek validation don’t need to be torn down and made fun of just for reaching out like they’re used to. “No one actually cares” is such an immediately wrong set of words, in the wrong order, and you don’t have the context to back it up. On another note, if you shave for sensory reasons, I’m glad you found something that works well for you <з

Because when you post about embracing a bodily taboo or rejecting a cultural pressure to conform, it’s really obnoxious when dozens of random strangers perceive it as a challenge to their sense of self and instead of doing some personal reflection on that discomfort, they make it your fucking problem and expect reassurance. I’m not your priest, I’m not your rabbi, I’m not here to hold your hand and tell you all about how valid and precious and justified and so defensible you are for not wanting to look like me. Someone else being unapologetically hairy or fat or butch is not an open invitation to solicit them for absolution about how hairless or skinny or feminine you are.

my friends and I caught COVID at GenCon last year and I hadn’t packed other clothes when I went into self-isolation so for like a week and a half I was trapped, alone, an hour from home, feverish and immobilized, with nothing to wear except Harry du Bois cosplay (mesh shirt/Fuck the World jacket variety)

Portrait of two best friends actively infected with The Plague™️ who recovered well and without incident to tell our gay and stupid tale together.

damn we sure were touching each other’s mouths a lot for two platonic bros who didn’t want to give each other a contagious disease

still thinking about the picture my friend took as they were adjusting my Party City muttonchops facial hair while we were both in Disco Elysium cosplay, in which I’m caught mid-blink looking up at them with the most doped-up fucked-out expression this face has ever made. we could not have taken a hornier picture on purpose if our lives depended on it.

like. help.

This is my favourite interview strategy

is the villain song from lion king 2 a good audition song

that lady would be so fuckable if she weren’t a lion (disclaimer: I am wine drunk]

someday I wanna do some kind of drag routine to ‘i want to be evil’ where at the end when she sings ‘and whatever I’ve got/I’m eager to lose’ I unzip my bra and instead of breasts I pull out a pair of cartoon ACME bombs

also thinking I’d come out pushing a dainty little pram and then steal some candy out of it before ripping the arms off a teddy bear and then kicking the pram offstage. maybe I put one of the ACME bombs in it first. will this get me cancelled.

little toy bluebird perched on my shoulder like a Disney princess but then I grab and squeeze it and it’s full of outlandishly bright stage blood that drips out of my clenched fist, ruining the stage for the next performer

someday I wanna do some kind of drag routine to ‘i want to be evil’ where at the end when she sings ‘and whatever I’ve got/I’m eager to lose’ I unzip my bra and instead of breasts I pull out a pair of cartoon ACME bombs

also thinking I’d come out pushing a dainty little pram and then steal some candy out of it before ripping the arms off a teddy bear and then kicking the pram offstage. maybe I put one of the ACME bombs in it first. will this get me cancelled.

i don't even need drugs to imagine all that. my beautiful brain will just do it spontaneously

99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.

you should have a rough outline of a plan for if any of your loved ones experiences psychosis, it really does happen a lot. UTIs can cause psychosis. taking drugs, even safe drugs, or prescription drugs, can cause psychosis. i was once prescribed a heavy regimen of vitamin D because i was deficient, but the doctor never told me to stop taking it, so i moved to california, stopped being deficient, and developed vitamin d toxicity with downstream hyperparathyroidism which triggered significant hypomania that was undetected and uncontrolled for yeeeeeeears. i just slowly got Weird and started making impulsive decisions based on slightly out-of-gamut beliefs. i drove cross country by myself to have a love affair. the love affair was real, the series of decisions leading to burning down my life in pursuit of it were based on not great brain function however. etc. you see what i mean. churchill mentioned depression being the "black dog who stalks us" (one reason for Churchgrim's multi-referential name) but theres another, stealthier dog called Insanity and it's closer to some people than others but man it sneaks up on you. every time i see one of those "guy gets weird and drives into the wilderness forever" missing persons stories i think "yeah i could totally pull that off"

"van gogh cut off his ear what a lunatic" you are 3 nights of bad sleep, getting unexpected upsetting news and taking a substance as benign as coffee at the wrong time away from doing the same hope this helps