Avatar

Unapologetic Apathy

@darthmissy / darthmissy.tumblr.com

Avatar

Fanfiction - Call Out My Name

Keeping this one (hopefully) short and sweet, guys! X

Call Out My Name

I – Friday I’m In Love

By the time I was seventeen, I was already a champion. A thick layer of foundation hid my adolescent pimples - few, gone by the time I was nineteen - from the strong spotlights of the World Championship podium. I was on the top of the world of figure skating and there I would remain until two years later, when I became Olympic Champion with a rendition of Mata Hari (even though I knew nothing about seduction and very little about men in general).

Where do you go when all your dreams become true? When the adversary to beat is your own reflection?

You reinvent yourself. You become something else and dream another dream.

That’s how I entered the universe of ice dancing. The principles were similar, and I thought that I could adapt easily enough - and I did. The feet work, the posture, the rhythm - it all came to me effortlessly.

The problem is that I was no longer alone on the ice. I depended on a partner, to train everyday until all our barriers broke and we became a creature of four legs and two heartbeats; to understand when I would come out of a turn a fraction of second too late, so he could catch up to me and finish in sync; to hold me like a flying banner across the ice, without letting me go; to avoid the soft spot on my shoulder tendon, where it had ruptured when I was thirteen.

I thought I had that with Frank. It had been a mistake, the first of a spotless career, that culminated with a thunderous and embarrassing fall from a one-hand lift on the ISU Grand Prix Final and an altercation that woke half of the London’s neighbourhood of Marylebone, where I lived on a small rented flat.

That’s how I found myself in a kind of audition to find me a new partner, sat on a bench next to Mrs. Fitz, my trainer since I had switched to the dance variety. I felt like a downright snob, staring at the checkboxes I was supposed to fulfil to grade the candidates. But in all truth, at twenty-two I couldn’t afford another miss – not in a sport where the expiration date was about as wide as that of a yoghurt.

The current young-man being evaluated grinned while he entered the rectangular rink for his sample programme – we had decided that I would only do a rehearsed routine without skates with a few selected, since we could gather plenty of information just from watching them doing short solos. When he glided close to the edge where we were observing, he winked in an inviting and slightly lascivious manner, that propelled me to draw a skull on the corner of the sheet with his name.

The next contestant was short – not dwarf-like, but definitely several inches away from my own height. Although I didn’t necessarily need a gigantic companion, his Lilliputian attributes were a hinderance when it came to what we could perform together on the ice.

After that came a cocky bastard, that I already knew from the circuit, when I was competing with Frank. He had also split from his previous partner (his girlfriend, or at least she was under that impression) and, even if his attitude wasn’t entirely to my taste, he was good – with a few mumbled words, I agreed with Glenna about seeing more of him in a choreography.  

We had carefully picked three possible matches for the next round, when the last candidate approached the rink, still wearing his black blade guards. His shoulders were beautifully made – the promise of his strong arms finishing with black gloves, that hid his hands -, a stark contrast with his narrow waist. He was leaner than I remembered, but brawny in an understated way.

I couldn’t believe my eyes and had the distinctive feeling that I wouldn’t need to breathe for a long while.

James Fraser was a legend of the ice rink. Undefeated champion in singles four years in a row, he had ruled the sport and brushed superstardom – featured as cover of stylish magazines and starred in alluring commercials of men’s clothing and posh fragrances – until his sudden disappearance three years previously. Word on the street was that he had suffered a terrible accident during a training session, and after a couple of surgeries it had became highly unlikely that he would ever skate again at a professional level.

We had met briefly on several occasions, overlapping in time during our solo career. He was two years my eldest; I vividly remembered the last European Championships I had seen him, back in Bratislava, on a Friday morning.

I was pissed and already ripping locks of hair from my careful hairdo in distress, kneeling on the warming up area. There was a red rose somewhere amidst the brown streaks, because I was skating to Carmen’s soundtrack.

“What’s amiss, lass?” Jamie asked me gently, squatting beside me. The men’s competition started a day later, so he had been practicing without skates, wearing a sweaty green shirt and training grey pants. I flushed when I saw him so close to me, the blue of his eyes overpowering.

“I brought my new skates by mistake!” I sniffed, biting my bottom lip in self-reprimand, while I pointed to the offending white pair of ice skates. “I haven’t break into them yet. There’s no time to get the right ones from the hotel now. It will be a fucking massacre.”

He quirked a brow and without further notice fished one of my feet from the floor, still bare from the pantyhose. His palm was very hot and still almost pulsing with energy from his exercise. He fished a tape roll from his pocket and, before I could complain, he was skilfully tapping my foot, his thumb tracing the edges of skin to figure out the small calluses, which revealed the places where I applied more pressure when skating. My skin prickled with goosebumps, not from cold but from a dark thrill.

“There.” He smiled widely, a small dimple appearing on the left side of his full mouth – my stomach fluttered, like a puppet animated by the corners of his lips – “All better. These should hold until ye finish yer program.” Jamie nodded confidently and reassuringly squeezed my hand before he departed. “I’ll be rooting for ye, Claire.”

I JUST SCREAMED HOLY SMOKES GIMME ALL OF THIS PLEASE

Avatar
reblogged

Experiment

Reblog if Gerard Way has made an impact in your life in any way

Avatar
reblogged

It has come to my attention that I won't be updating stories really anymore. It's either be off of medication and be able to do my stories while my mental disorders are running wild and I can't even leave my home for any reason

Or be on medication and lose a chunk of my creativity because I’m toned down in every aspect of the way. I want to update so bad but it’s so hard to, I don’t have the strong power for it anymore since I’m on medication.

This is really sad. I might do one shots here and there but I can’t really write? My creativity is kind of limp. I’m so sorry everyone , I let you down. I don’t know what to do. I’m on a high dosage on my medication because I have too many demons in my head that I am battling. If I can find some other solution.. I will be on it and right back to writing. Until then I’ll leave all of my stories up. I love you guys , go ahead and re-read. ❤️❤️

Avatar
darthmissy

THIS is so brave. As someone who also struggles with a day to day battle with mental illness, there is always that choice to face. Take the pills and be a "useful member of society". OR don't and let yourself fly/fall. There are instances when I can taste that wave of creativity washing up to me. I reach out to grab on for dear life but it's gone. Like the tide on a beach it recedes until all I feel are tiny bubbles. Just enough to know that right there, under the surface, it's me. Me, turned up to 11 instead of this easy listening version. Iwasmakingitreign- I commend you for being brave enough to quell your demons even though your wonderful writing is altered. When you can see it, grab your tide and run with it. We are all behind you.

Avatar

WARNING to anyone planning on LEAVING THEIR HOUSE

The outside has unfriendly people, as well as a gigantic ball of fire in the sky. In addition, you may sometimes encounter a bird or an unpleasant smell.

Posting this because THERE ARE NO POSTED WARNINGS when exiting your home.

SIGNAL BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THIS.

Avatar
darthmissy

Addendum: This also occurs in mountainous areas known for southern hospitality and mild weather.

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
darthmissy

Love this! A favorite band and THE most phenomenal entertainment ever!!!

Avatar
reblogged

reblog this if you miss someone

Avatar

Dean Ambrose is the protagonist who is on a journey to defeat the powerful Brock Lensar and has to obtain sacred weapons from the legendary warriors.

Holy shit, this is basically a traditional RPG.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.