@dye-cast-daisies / dye-cast-daisies.tumblr.com
I can’t decide what’s better: elves being a tricked-out version of humans, or the races having similar appearances but completely different physiologies.
An elf goes to a human hospital and the doctors are like holy fuck. You broke our blood typing machine.
“Sir, the results are in, and technically you are a fungus.”
Can we please talk about how our history teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as proof of the presence of man two million years ago
pleas,e for the love of God read the whole letter, there are tears streamign down my face rn
Can we please talk about how your history teacher has done this sort of thing enough times that he has his own specimen shelf in the Smithsonian
“yours in science” tho
“B. Clams don’t have teeth” is the part where I lost it.
The letter says:
“Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled “211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull.” We have gien this specimen a careful and detailed examination and regret to inform you that we disagree with you theory that it represents ‘conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.’ Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the ‘Malibu Barbie’. It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it’s modern origin:
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it’s normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating’s notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly , we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation’s Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name ‘Australopithecus spiff-arino.’ Speaking personally, I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to or nation’s capital that you proposed in you last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the ‘trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix’ that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities”
—————————————————————————————————-
(sorry if there are misspellings or wrong wordings. this was long and i was reading it off my phone)
“I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.“
I love that that entire last paragraph can be boiled down to “keep it up, you mad bastard.”
That was a fucking trip.
all these fucking fools on my dashboard talk about how they love bats but only show pictures of fruit bats fuck you start posting pictures of all bats i can’t stand this fucking bat erasure
look at him he’s not your conventionally attractive bat but he deserves just as much love
Yo, you want some adorable non-fruit bats? Gotcha covered, pals!
Long Eared Bat, huge ears and an adorable face!
Mexican Free Tailed Bat, named for the fact that their uropatagium (back leg membrane) doesn’t cover their tail, leaving them with a teeny mouse-like tail.
Gould’s Wattled Bat, they got some pearly white sharp teeth, but they tell great jokes and always laugh at yours too.
“HAHAHAHAHA!”
Hoary Bat, AKA the bat that looks like they’re covered in powdered sugar.
Bulldog Bat, a bulldog… with wings <3
Vampire Bat, often seen as creepy, but they’re actually really cute. Also fun fact, vampire bats live in a social structure where able-bodied bats go out and feed and then share part of their meal with old/weak/sick members who cannot forage themselves. No survival of the fittest here, every bat helps every bat out <3
And lastly, the Painted Bat, and yes, those are its actual colors. Can’t get any more Halloween than that <3
Let me add a couple more!!
A personal favorite of mine: Honduran White Fruit Bat, also known as ‘Marshmallow Bats’! These tiny cuties make tents by nibbling on the leaves until they fold down, and they snuggle close underneath it!
Bumblebee Bat! The smallest bat species and often considered the smallest mammal on Earth!
And the newly discovered Pied Bat!! I couldn’t find much about them, but gosh, they are adorable!!
I love them all.
ive got a masculine side and a feminine side. and theyre making out with eachother
the overwhelming grief of losing an entire year to sickness, violence and pandemic fatigue is settling in so id like to remind everyone that: you are not a failure, yes there is still a happy future for you, and wearing a mask is very sexy
So I have my dog trained to sit when she wants pet (she used to be very wild and jumpy when we first got her, it’s been a long road) so now when she wants attention she just sits very still and stares VERY intently at you (she’s extremely non verbal and hardly makes sound in general)
So, today I let her out and didn’t realize the fence gate was wide open, and she just shoots right out at this older man and a small girl (bc she just LOVES PEOPLE. A lot) The girl kinda shrieks and the man pulls her behind him (which I get it, my dogs small but she’s still part Pitt, and she was running full throttle at them) and all of a sudden my dog just pulls up completely, full stop, and plants her ass on the ground in front of them, staring and wagging her tail.
And they just stand there, staring at each other. She’s like, vibrating with energy, waiting for pets, and these people are like “wtf” so I run up and explain and the old guy was just so thrilled honestly. The little girl starts petting her and the old dude was gushing about how trained and well behaved she is (I mean, ignoring the fact that she shot out of the gate LMAO) but like, that just made me so happy. I’ve put so much time and effort into training her and making her feel safe and comfortable after he (horrifying) past and I’m just so so proud of her.
TLDR; my dog is a good gorl and I luv her
modern day who’s on second
“me saw who! me saw who!!!”
I cannot stop watching this video. It’s fucking hilarious and I’ve watching it’s approximately 20 times already
Here’s the whole video, it’s hilarious
Don’t you ever wish that you could escape from the hardships of your everyday life?
- Shy Guy (Paper Mario: Color Splash, 2016)
i don’t think I’m ever going to get over this line
Holy shit these are two of the most fucking raw things ever....hit home so hard they took my breath away
so today was my first day back at camp and this years basically my first year where im like being a full on girl at camp and so like i was with my group today which is mostly kids whove known me for like 3 years at this point and one kid who knows me less well and like this kids 9 right so he asks me if im a boy or a girl like right off the bat cuz well, hes 9. I tell him im a girl and one of the other kids is like What!? no youre not. and im like i sure am. Another kid asks “then why were you a boy last year?” im like getting ready to figure out how the hell im gonna explain this to a kid in like 4 seconds. and then another kid asks “omg was you pretending to be a boy just an elaborate joke you and the other counselors were playing on us?!??” i just kinda stand there and im like………………………… yes. they all get cracked up because they think me pretending to be a boy was like, the funniest, most long term prank that has ever been committed to them and like i gotta say, i wholeheartedly agree that being amab is just a fucking joke.
another kid was like “but wait? you had a girlfriend last year?” as if she thinks shes just seen through me by asking that simple question and i just say “sometimes girls have girlfriends” and she just nods like i just said the wisest fucking thing anyone has ever fucking said
daniel lavery, “something that may shock and discredit you”
Undertale was full of raw ass lines and I’m sorry y’all are too chickenshit to acknowledge this because you’ve decided it’s cringy to like things
op is so right and here’s some evidence (not even a fraction of it all):
yeah yeah sans undertale jokes but “its a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming. on days like these, kids like you, should be burning in hell” is extremely raw
Undertale is just… More powerful than people give it credit for.
At some point people apparently small brained and decided to ignore how great it actually is.
legit i cried first time i read “despite everything, its still you” because that line hit me like a sack of bricks
“But it refused” in context will never fail to hit me right in the fuckin gut.
I’m not psychic but the spores incubating in my frontal lobe definitely are
thinking about that WoW epidemic
i was telling my dad, ever the skeptic, about corrupted blood back in March at the start of lockdown, and how the cdc studied it. how it can be used as a model for what to do and how people might act in the event of an unpredicted pandemic, and how people were playing out the same behavior during covid.
he said “so they fixed it, right? how did they fix it in the game?” and i told him the truth: they didn’t. they couldn’t control it. they had to reset the servers and roll them back to the time before the ZG encounter.
a CNN article recently referenced another “viral” event in world of warcraft: leeroy jenkins facepulling as a metaphor for the expedited reopening of businesses. what it fails to mention however is how the video ends. everyone who charges in with leeroy dies. he wipes the raid.
it really feels like that meme where it’s like “wow, cool video game reference!” and the point soaring over their head says THE DAMAGE WAS IRREVERSIBLE. THE THREAT SPREAD TOO RAPIDLY AND EVERYONE DIED.
weird reframing of the corrupted blood incident to make it seem, for some reason, like it was all selfish actions that people said was unrealistic because real people would help others. in fact its literally the opposite, it was used as real world data specifically because of the player driven efforts to fix it
The reason this plague in the game was a good model is because we had all walks of life type people reacting in different ways.
Those with healing magic would go into infected areas to see if they could save the infected or at least keep them alive through the disease. Those that couldn’t do that tried to warn players before they entered infected areas. NPC could be infected and have “no symptoms”; they could be asymptomatic carriers and pass it to nearby players.
The best part though was by the time Blizzard had finally come out and said “if you are infected, try to quarantine yourself so you don’t spread it!!” the player base was ALREADY DOING SO. The players had recognized the problem and worked together in myriad ways to fix it.
They also had negative reactions as well, another reason this was such a good example of a real outbreak. They had a couple people report healers or alchemists who were claiming to sell cures/treatments to the disease that ultimately would do nothing. They had a group of players that would hide in the mountains near cities and just pass the disease back and forth between themselves and then raid cities to infect them all over again. They had higher level players start rebelling on the servers. Saying it was an overreaction and if you get it you’ll just die and you can come back and be fine, etc. Since they could get the disease and survive, ie it didn’t do enough damage to them since they were higher level, they felt it unnecessary to care about whether they got it or not. They complained about not getting to play like normal just because this plague could kill lower level players.
ALL of these reactions, good and bad, were real enough to what we assumed a real life epidemic would play out that people started to use it as a model. And now look, we have proof that it was accurate.
However, what we needed to learn from it was primarily that it wasn’t reversible. The bad reactions and lack of care from the few players that weren’t cooperating made it impossible in the end to contain. The only reason it was fixed at all is the game had to reverse time, literally just delete their entire game log a few weeks and time travel weeks into the past to before the plague even began.
Think about that.
The reason no one believed it was a valid model is that it was a video game and thus the consequences weren’t permanent. “No one would act like that in real life.” But look at how we are handling this outbreak. Is it not eerily similar?
And we can’t time travel.
Very informative thread -source
Dr. Sarah Taber fucking SNAPPED
