So, I’ve seen loads of posts about Julian & the latest book. I’ve seen people ripping his choices, saying they’ve ‘unstanned’ because he leaves, and I just wanted to give my two cents about it (if anyone cares).

He’s (clearly) had his memory wiped in some shape or form. He’s been branded, imprisoned, hunted, cursed. He’s been in love with someone who couldn’t (wouldn’t?) love him back. In his own words he says; ‘I’ll give you all of me, if that’s what it takes.’ I mean… ouch. Asra does take, through no fault of his own, but it still does some damage, clearly.

Now, he finds someone who possibly loves him in return, someone who would clearly do anything for him, to help him. Of course that scares the shit out of the guy. He wants to protect them, to keep them safe. He’s conditioned to think he’s unloveable, that he’s dangerous and everyone would be better off without him around, messing up their lives. He’s wrong, but no ones ever told him that… I think that much is clear (apart from Portia, but who ever listens to their siblings?). He’s dramatic, we know that, but that doesn’t mean his feelings aren’t valid.

The Apprentice is someone he wants to cherish, to protect. He believes he’s poisonous, that they’ll be burned if he sticks around. He might be right, but he’s also probably incredibly wrong. I’m sure we’ll get the chance to show him that, to show him he deserves love and everything that comes with it. Boy just needs time to realise that. Yes, we’d all love to grab him and shake him and tell him he’s being silly, but that isn’t always the best way forward. Plus, he’s probably still lingering outside the shop wondering if he’s done the right thing, poor lamb.

In short, Julian is important, his feelings are valid and should be respected, and I hope he sees how special he is… and soon. ALSO I love Asra, and I see both sides of the ‘Asrian’ story. So… no Asra hate here, just Asra confusion.

| JULIAN | The Arcana | His Part of Town |

“Very smart. Never trust a free drink.”

Reblog this if your muse is protective of their loved ones.

[Image Description: Drawing of thyme next to a caption that says “Take all the thyme you need.”’ in handwritten green text.]

Apprentice character: write name of your character, their MBTI type, and which Tarot card symbolizes them.

I will start.

Apprentice Ciel - ISFG - Temperance

Ellana - INFJ - The High Priestess

Gwendolyn RoseMarie Arkon - INFP - Two Of Cups or The Sun

Samael Mallory Bellamorte - ISFJ - The Hermit Reversed, or The Tower

Una Fey - INFP - The Moon

All the stories said that the gallows called, but to Julian they sounded more like a scream.

Or perhaps that was the crowd of spectators, their leers and yells becoming a ghastly chorus as loud as his raging heart in his ears. Sweat dripped down his forehead and coated his bare hands. His hands, pale white and exposed to the world that expected them to be forever stained red. Precious few were satisfied by the black murderer’s brand on the back of his hand in comparison to his crime.

As it was, the only thing his hands remembered was the warmth of the apprentice’s face. Julian curled his hands into fists to hide their shaking, even if he could feel his expression betray his raw struggle to remain upright. He walked, one foot in front of the other, guards surrounding him, and the hangman’s noose casting a shadow in the dying daylight.

If he had to die, Julian supposed, he was grateful to do it when the stars glimmered in the sky above him. He always preferred the darkness and the security it brought him. Nights gave him the chance to meet with the apprentice, after all, and the sweetness of their mouth was more than satisfying for the ghastly threat hanging over their heads.

The memories kept him from falling to his knees. He needed to make it to the platform for the promise to see them again. He had very little else here in Vesuvia, besides his little sister. Asra was merely a ghost now, unresponsive to Julian’s questions and begging, and he had vanished just hours after returning.

As much as Julian loved to see Asra crushed by emotional distress, the price was not worth it. Seeing Asra lose all the color in his face was not worth watching the apprentice crumple to the ground like a puppet cut of its strings. Knowing that Asra’s broken heart was being cradled only by his ribs was not worth the constant reel of memories playing in Julian’s head.

Nothing was worth watching the apprentice step forward and beg Nadia for Julian’s life, only for a nervous guard to strike out at them with a swipe of his sword. He had watched them scrambled to save the apprentice’s life, begging to be brought to their side. He watched the apprentice grow limp, blood staining the polished marble underneath them, and he had watched them die.

Julian watched them bleed to death, his curse burning his throat as sharply as his tears did, and he had felt the most overwhelming type of anger. He loathed Asra for this curse, because it came with the knowledge that he had the power that no one else had, to save them, but he couldn’t even do that.

Perhaps Nadia was surprised by how willingly Julian allowed himself to be dragged to the dungeons after that. Every ounce of rebellion drained away from him. After all, a hanging was more acceptable when he knew that it was punishment not for Lucio’s death, but for theirs.

Everything fell away the closer he got to the platform. Every single step washed away the sounds of the bloodthirsty spectators and the list of crimes the warden read from. Julian could only see the rope with his fate written on it, and the promise it brought.

“Do you have any last words, Doctor Devorak?”

Julian had hundreds, but none of them were for the people in this audience. The people he wanted to speak to were both ghosts of different definitions that had been swept away by something out of his control.

Yet when a soft breeze gently brushed away a wayward lock of his hair from his face, Julian couldn’t help it. He hoped they were listening.

“My name is Ilya,” he said.

When the noose was laid around his neck, the call sounded like the apprentice’s voice saying his name, sweet and achingly familiar. Julian smiled, and the world fell out from under his feet.

anyway now that i’m awake i would like to know if any of you have apprentices whose “True Route” is either portia, lucio, nadia, or muriel and if you would be willing and able to tell me about them through messages because i kinda wanna start a thing but i don’t wanna say what it is yet in case i never do it but i’d rather use other people’s apprentices than make more up

pls let me use ur apprentices in my modern au i will love you forever and treat them so well i still need an apprentice for portia, lucio, and muriel

i have a muriel and maybe a lucio! someone give some love to portia my guys! i will be so nice to ur ocs i swear i will

                           a drabble about asra + when you choose julian

Asra thought he’d known pain when you’d forgotten him. When he’d held you in his arms, tears streaming down his face as chaos unfolded around you. When you woke later with blurry thoughts and aches that threatened to break your mind.

He’d thought pain had been when he’d tried to help you remember and you fell limp in his arms. When panic had gripped his heart, tightening his chest as he stopped you from crashing to the ground. When he’d held you close, hands shaking as he feared he’d gone too far, pushed too hard and lost you forever. When his heart had stopped at the thought of that.

He’d thought pain had been having to leave so often. When the headaches came too frequently and he’d known the memories were too close to coming back. He’d thought pain had been when that sadness appeared in your eyes, your gaze turned away as he walked out the door- that pain was leaving his heart with you when he left.

He was wrong.

Pain was watching you go to him. Pain was seeing the light in both of your eyes, seeing you embrace each other, lips meeting and a joy shining on both of your faces. The kind of joy he couldn’t give to either of you.

Pain was missing you with every ounce of his being, every corner of his heart, and smiling as you held Julian’s hand and glowed like the sun, oblivious to the fact that he was even there. Pain was forcing a smile, because he loves you so much and nothing could make him want to take that happiness away from you.

Pain was watching the two of you disappear, all love and happiness, giddy at the prospect of a future, while he turned away, coming to terms with the fact that once more, he would be all alone.

will this sketch be enough to satisfy your thirst

i’m sorry @thearcanagame