esparzart reblogged
Seriously. This is fucking me up.
Arraignment
Here’s another installment of Me Llamare Tuyo. You can find the last chapter here or the table of contents here. I have no idea where this story is going, but let’s enjoy the ride together!
Gif Credit: @prurientpuddlejumper
Me Llamare Tuyo
- Chapter 1 · Heavy Favors
- Chapter 2 · Arraignment
- Chapter 3 · United Front
Gif Credit: @eccleston
Heavy Favors
Have I finished my ongoing Barba story that I started over 4 years ago? Nope. Is that going to stop me from writing a new one? Nope. Dear friends, I’ve been bitten by a little writing bug and I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Gif Credit: @hurricanejjareau
Dance Recitals & Dates
Hi all, I hope you’re all doing well. I suddenly had the urge to work on Guardian Angel [ X ], so here’s a little something I threw together. It’s not very good, my writing is very rusty. All the same, I hope you enjoy it!
Gif credit: @rustandruin
“You alright, counselor?” Carisi asked with a smirk when he saw the anxious look on Rafael’s face. He glanced at his watch half a dozen times in the last fifteen minutes.
Rafael nodded, “I’m fine, do I really need to be here for this?” he asked motioning to the white board that was covered with pictures and names. For the umpteenth time he glanced at his watch, Eva’s show would start at six and he would barely have time to go home and shower.
Olivia looked at her co-workers then back at Barba, “yeah, I thought we could come up with some idea as to how tall these women are connected…” she offered.
He knew this was important, but he really couldn’t miss Eva’s show. She had the lead in her school play, and it was all she could talk about for the past week or so. “I see no reason why we can’t pick this back up tomorrow,” he countered, getting up from his seat. If he didn’t leave now, he’d never make it.
After packing his things, Rafael headed for the bank of elevators with Olivia on his tail. “What’s your hurry?” she inquired.
“Eva has a school play tonight, she’s the lead and I can’t miss that,” he told her seriously. She was four years old and he wasn’t going to miss out on any of her school functions if he could help it. “I missed her Christmas pageant, I can’t do that again,” he told her as the elevator arrived.
Olivia nodded, “I understand, I’ll call you in the morning,” she promised.
The elevator descended and Rafael ordered an uber, he would have just enough time to go home to shower and change.
Are you on your way home? – V
Just waiting on my Uber – R
After a minute, he climbed into the car and breathed a lot easier. His phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket. Victoria had sent him a picture of Eva, with her hair curled and dressed in her costume.
She looks beautiful – R
We’re leaving for the school, we’ll see you there – V
After the quickest shower of his life, Rafael dressed and made his way to his daughter’s school after a stop at the flower shop. When he arrived, he couldn’t find Victoria anywhere, but as he unlocked his phone, his mother found him. “A little over dressed, don’t you think?” Lucia laughed.
He looked down at his best suit and frowned, “I didn’t know what to wear,” he replied honestly. Lucia led them to their seats Victoria saw them coming and removed her purse from the seat beside her. “Don’t,” he warned as he sat between his mother and his girlfriend.
Victoria held her hands up in defense, “I was just going to say you’re the best dressed father in the building,” she laughed. “How did you know I loved rainbow roses?” she asked reaching for the bouquet on his lap.
Rafael slapped her hand away, “not for you,” he told her. Victoria pouted playfully and crossed her arms, pretending to be mad at him. He leaned closer to her so that only she would hear what he said, “but if you’re a good girl, you could get something later,” he winked.
“Tease,” she said accusingly and turned her attention to the stage. The curtains rose and the Principal introduced herself and welcomed the parents to the show. She assured them all that the students had put in a lot of hard work into their show and that they were in for a real treat.
When the second set of curtains rose, Eva’s class was in position to start their dance. “She looks beautiful,” Rafael said to Victoria, lacing his fingers with hers.
Victoria nodded, “she does, I couldn’t stop taking pictures of her. Wait until you watch her dance,” she warned. “You’re going to be in serious trouble when she gets older,” she teased.
“Que linda!” Lucia gushed from her seat. Eva and her classmates danced to the music, even though they couldn’t keep up with the choreograph they looked great on stage. The song picked up and Eva took center stage with her dance partner and Rafael’s grip tightened on Victoria’s and as his daughter swayed her little hips and shimmied to the music.
It was all Victoria could do not to break into hysterics in her seat. “You’re pulling her out of dance class,” he warned her darkly.
“The hell she is!” Lucia argued in a loud whisper.
Rafael looked at his mother, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull. “Do you see that little boy’s hands on my daughter! He’ll be lucky if I don’t break his fingers,” he shot back.
“Rafi, you’re overreacting. She’s having a good time and there’s no harm in a dance,” his mother told him with a shake of her head. “They’re dancing, it’s not like he’s taking her out on a date,” she added.
Victoria cleared her throat, catching Rafael’s attention. “Actually…he kind of is. His parents asked if the kids wanted to go out for ice cream after this…”
“Absolutely not, they can keep their son the hell away from my little girl,” Rafael complained. Both his mother and his girlfriend broke into a fit of laughter. He ignored Victoria’s assurances that it was just ice cream between classmates.
He could feel himself sweating and hyperventilating at the thought of his daughter ever becoming a grown woman. “Can’t she go back to thinking boys were gross? There was nothing wrong with that,” he whined.
His mother patted his hand, “she’s got a long way to go before you have to worry,” Lucia promised, knowing where her son’s mind had wandered to. Rafael knew she was right, but it didn’t ease his worries any.
The song ended with Eva’s hands on her little hips and a wide grin on her face. “See that face? How can you even think of taking this away from her, babe?” Victoria asked Rafael. He looked at his girlfriend who seemed as ecstatic as his daughter did.
Instead of arguing with them further, Rafael sat back in his seat and watched the rest of the concert.
When the concert ended, Rafael followed Victoria and his mother to the hall so that they could pick up Eva. As he emerged from the auditorium, he could hear his daughter’s giggles and he saw her with the same little boy who had danced with her. Before he could complain, he was approached by a couple. “You must be Mr. Barba, we’re Mitzi and Evan Christie. We’re Edward’s parents,” the woman announced, extending her hand to him.
“Yes, I’m Rafael Barba, it’s nice to meet you both,” Rafael replied. He had to keep himself in check, neither his girlfriend nor his mother would appreciate his making a scene.
The children came running over to them, “did you see me, papi? Didn’t I do good?” Eva asked, throwing her arms around her father’s leg.
Rafael bent to pick her up and kissed her rouged cheek, “you did great, preciosa, you look beautiful.”
“You both did very well,” Mitzi said smiling at Eva and hugging her son to her side. “I think this calls for a trip to the ice cream shop!” she announced.
“Ice cream! Can we, papi?” Eva pleaded, and though he didn’t want his daughter spending anymore time with Edward, he couldn’t deny her. When he nodded, she squeezed him in a hug again, causing everyone to laugh.
Rafael set her down and she took off with Edward ahead of them, with his parents following closely behind.
Victoria laughed at the frown on his face, she wrapped her arm around his, patting him playfully on the chest. “Stop frowning, Rafi, it’s just ice cream,” Lucia laughed, linking her arm with his free arm, and the three of them walked on after them.
esparzart reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Can I request number #19: “Nobody needs to know” with Barba, please?
19: “Nobody needs to know”
a/n: set early season 16, rafael is jealous lol, barba does not like sonny at this point,
All the oxygen has gone fro my body 💀💀💀
esparzart reblogged
RIP ME. This post is from the beyond.
esparzart reblogged
esparzart reblogged
OK DADDY. WHATEVER YOU WANT.
This is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen!!! 😍😍
esparzart reblogged
Rafael Barba appreciation ➩ 207/∞ | ep: funny valentine
I call this… a good start. Now for the pants.
I second that motion @lovemesomerafael
Source: turnswithus
esparzart reblogged
whyissvuruiningmylovelife-deact
We’re Through
I was totally inspired by @tropes-and-tales story Why Do I Even Bother here is the link the story https://tropes-and-tales.tumblr.com/post/185739906870/rafael-barba-prompt-why-do-i-even-bother check out her stuff, its fantastic! Also I am very open to constructive criticism and new ideas! would love some feedback!
No one made you as happy or as sad as Rafael Barba. You met by chance. You were doing work for your aunt’s bookstore in a cafe when he introduced himself. You hadn’t even meant to go to that cafe that day. Your aunt’s bookstore had a cafe, but you wanted a change of scenery. Kismet, you always called it. You two had been dating for six months. It was a lot of give and take. Well more give on your part.
He hadn’t introduced you to any of his coworkers and insisted on keeping the relationship low key. He worked in a dangerous world full of criminals and didn’t want to you to be tainted somehow by it. You, he always said, were a bright spot of sunshine in the bleak world of the Special Victims he saw.
It sure didn’t feel like it though. It had been six months and he hadn’t met the aunt you had to come to New York to take care of, and to take over her bookstore. You hadn’t met his mom or his friends outside of work. You asked but he always said the same thing, scheduling conflict.
You were patient. You wouldn’t want to bring him to your aunt’s place out respect for her privacy, so you always went to his. That’s how you justified it in your mind. Whenever he called, you went. You once went from Brooklyn to his Manhattan brownstone at 10 p.m. He didn’t have you take the subway, he did pay for an Uber. That was sweet and considerate, right?
But you weren’t a booty call. Sure you two had sex, you were together for over three months and you took it slow. You had late night dinners, early breakfasts and sometimes just talked for hours. He always loved texting you. Soon, however, you realized a third person was n the relationship. Olivia Benson. She called and he answered. Always.
He also took her to any galas and charity dinners. He said they were work-related and he would rather be at home with you. He spoke a few times about upcoming galas. You had seen invites on his breakfast bar. You were so excited and so sure he was going to ask you had bought a dress. But the invitation never came. You kept the dress, just in case he asked you to the next one. The next one came and went. He never asked. But he always went with Olivia Benson. You didn’t think he was cheating on you, well not physically. Emotionally, you wouldn’t let yourself go to that place. Denial wasn’t just a river in Egypt.
So you did what you did best. You waited. Until one day you were listening to the radio. Toto’s song Rosanna came on. The line “meet you all the way” for some reason stuck with you. You couldn’t get it out of your head. You ALWAYS met him all the way. He never came close to meeting you half way. The relationship was completely one-sided and on his terms.
It stopped you in your tracks. He wasn’t worrying about tainting you. There weren’t any scheduling conflicts. He was hiding you! You, his…booty call. You weren’t that, you were much more than that. If he had ever asked about you, or your life or were even remotely involved he would know that your aunt sold you her business and brownstone in Brooklyn. You liked it better than his Manhattan brownstone. Which you told yourself you would never, ever set foot in ever again.
You were so angry you saw red. The night before he had kept you waiting for hours at his place after you mentioned that you learned to cook his favorite meal. Olivia needed him for a case so they had a working dinner. You dutiful packed up the dinner you in plastic containers and placed it in his refrigerator. Well, you hoped he enjoyed it. You realized everything you have done for him and the red in your eyes turned opaque.
You were going to break up with him. Through text. You were going to give as much into the breakup text as he did into the relationship. Not much at all.
We’re through. -y/n
You blocked him and deleted his number. You didn’t feel a lot of closure because you would never know if he tried to get you back or if he even cared. You finished your day at the bookstore and put the dress you bought up on eBay. It sold. The next day you were going to mail it, you wanted any reminder of Rafael Barba out of your life.
———–
Rafael had a long day at the office he wanted nothing more than to call you. He wanted to see you. He knew he wasn’t the best boyfriend because he put a lot into his work. He didn’t really have any friends. Sure, Eddie was his friend but he was very busy with his new job as a security guard at another prison and his new girlfriend was encouraging to take night classes towards his associates. Small steps. Between that and his son, he was pretty busy. Eddie, outside of work was his only friend. He could not let you know that.
You had moved to New York and made friends more quickly than anyone he had met. You had a gift in it. He felt kind of like a loser in that aspect. He never had many friends. In high school, there was Yelina, Alex and Eddie. Well, Yelina, Alex and he could never be friends. Eddie, sometimes he still had hope for. In Harvard he was to busy studying, then he worked, worked and worked.
Now it was starting to pay off. He had his nice brownstone along with some nice paid time off with extra money to spend He was thinking of asking you, his pretty, awesome girlfriend to go on a cruise with him and mother along with her boyfriend William Dodds. He wasn’t thrilled about Dodds but he figured it was a great way for you to become integrated into his family. He was in touch with a travel agent with William and everything was set. They just needed to ask his Mom and you.
He heard a ping. He had a special text tone for your texts. He put down his paperwork and pulled out his phone. He almost savored that he was going to hear from you. But he saw the words “We’re through-y/n” He felt cold.
You two were over just like that! He thought things were going so well. He tried calling, went to voicemail. Then he tried three more times. He then understood he was blocked. He felt hurt. Yes, he worked a lot. But he always thought you knew how he felt. His heart clenched and his stomach dropped. He wanted to forget. Maybe a trip to Forlini’s would help.
——
Sonny Carisi was sitting at home rewatching a cheesy comedy and eating a cold pizza when he got a call. He at first didn’t know the number but answered anyways.
“Hello?”
“Sonny Carisi?”
“Who’s this?”
“I’m a bartender at Forlini’s Bar, a Mr. Barber-”
Then Sonny heard a drunken Barba yell over the phone,
“Its Barba! It’s Cuban! I’m Cuban and I’m sad!”
Sonny assured the bartender to say no more, he was on his way.
—-
When Sonny arrived at the bar, Barba was sitting in a corner booth drinking what looked like a milkshake and munching on fries. Sonny wasn’t even aware they sold food. Barba looked sad and lonely. Sonny slid into the booth.
“Hi Barba, what’s going on?”
“My girlfriend dumped me. Everything was going fine. I was going to take her on a cruise. Sonny, don’t be like me. I know you want to, I can see it. Just don’t. I’m fifty and I’m alone.”
Sonny had never heard Barba call him his first name before. Ever. More importantly he never once acted like he had a girlfriend. Sometimes he wondered if it Olivia. Was it Olivia, were the lieutenant and him dating?
“Is it Olivia?”
Barba looked confused and munched on some fries.
“Is what Olivia?”
Then Sonny realized this was going to be a hard conversation, drunk Barba had no attention span.
“Is Olivia your girlfriend? Did you two break up?”
“Olivia isn’t my girlfriend! Y/n is! She’s really pretty, very nice and smart. She knows more about books than I do! But she broke up with me. Through text. Why do you think Olivia was my girlfriend?”
Sonny sighed, maybe Barba wasn’t as drunk as he thought, maybe the food he Postmated into Forlinis was helping.
“Well, you go to all of these events with her. You two seem to hang out a lot. I just thought-”
“She once said she wanted to go on a cruise. I took on a lot of extra cases and got time off. I even got a balcony room. Ugh, I have to go with my mom and Dodds. Maybe I can get a refund.”
“Why is your mom and Dodd’s going?”
It was too late, Rafael passed out in the fries, knocking over his milkshake.
———
Rafael woke up in with a huge headache and the racket in the kitchen was ungodly loud. He remembered the night before and groaned. Then he remembered the breakup and felt depressed all over again. He walked into the kitchen to thank Sonny for picking him up.
“Hi, Barba!” Sonny said a bit too cheerfully.
“Sonny, you picked me up drunk from a bar and I slept off the booze in your apartment. Call me Rafael.”
“Well, Rafael, I made pancakes to help settle your stomach. My ma has the best pancake recipe. I made you some.”
Rafael sat down on the couch were Sonny gave him some aspirin and a big glass of water. He sat the plate of pancakes in front of him. Rafael had to admit they smelled good.
“Err-thanks for everything Sonny.”
“What are friends for!” Sonny said back, handing him a fork.
“Am I on Staten Island? Do you have a ferry schedule?” Rafael asked mid-bite.
Sonny looked shocked.
“Staten Island? I left as soon as I could, I live in Brooklyn.”
————-
Rafael left Sonny’s apartment making a promise to himself to help Sonny out more, and be slightly easier on him. He remembered the drunk conversation he had with Sonny. Sonny thought he was Olivia? Olivia was the closest thing to a best friend he had. Even if was a work friendship. Did he maybe, just maybe, treat his relationship with Olivia better than you?
The more he thought about his relationship with you, the more he realized you put up with a lot over the past few months. You came at ten at night, you waited when he had to leave early. You had seemed so patient he had started taking you for granted. Now it was over. He didn’t know your address, he then realized he didn’t know the name of your aunt’s bookstore.
He smelled warm croissants and coffee. Getting drunk and the hangover always made him super hungry. Maybe would go into the cafe where the smell was coming from and grab something for the subway ride back to Manhattan.
The doorbell rang as walked in and a bored twenty-something took his order. While he waited for his food, he sipped his coffee and looked through the bookstore. He sadly thought of you. You spoke about the bookstore a lot. You really enjoyed running it for your aunt. The woman behind the counter asked him if he needed help, he was about to say no when he heard your voice.
“Jenine, the new shipment came in! I’m going to need help later putting the away.”
“Sure thing y/n!”
You walked in pushing a cart of books you stopped when you saw Rafael.
“Uh…hi Rafael, what are you doing in Brooklyn?” You looked very uncomfortable and you looked like you were hiding your anger.
“Can I talk to you?” Rafael asked. You didn’t want to make a scene. He looked awful. You never saw him look…bad. Even in repose, he looked nice. He was wearing a wrinkled suit, had messy hair and had dark circles under his eyes. You wanted this to go as quickly as possible. You led him to your office and closed the door.
“I’m sorry,” Rafael said. Then you decided to let him have it. You were going to get your closure.
“For what, Rafael? Treating me like a booty call that you hid? For being ashamed of dating a shop girl? I’ll have you know I own this bookstore now. I’ve owned it for three weeks, but guess what? You never asked. You never ask about me, you hid me and I still have to come to you. You have feelings for another woman but try to pass the time with me. You take her to events you should take me too. I had long ago bought a dress I waited to wear for you, and guess what? I sold it. I’m done waiting. I’m sick of it. I’m better than that and I deserve better. I guess in the end I can’t be mad. I allowed you to treat me this way. I’m just done.” You finished sitting in your desk chair, the tone of your finality hung in the air.
Rafael was horrified. He had no idea you had felt this way. Sure he liked to compartmentalize his life. He didn’t want you to get hurt in any way because of him. He had been afraid of the inadequacies of his social life. In the end, his fear and having the relationship 100% his own way cost him one of the only good things in his life.
“You bought a dress to wear for me? I know I should have invited you to a gala but…There is no excuse. I wasn’t with you to pass the time. I never introduced you to my friends because I don’t really have any. I just work. Then you came into my life, and I worked more because I could get time off to go on a trip with my mom. Carino, I had a cruise all planned. I barely see my mom, I’m working so much. I wanted all of us to get to know each other on it. Me, you, my mother and her boyfriend..”
You looked at him and said.
“ I bet he comes to her every once while? Does he make her leave the Bronx at ten at night? I suppose he pays for her uber though. That makes it better in the end.”
When Rafael heard it out loud he winced.
“You were never a booty call. I hate that you would think that. Congratulations on buying this place. I wish we could try again. But if you end it I understand. I’ll introduce you to anyone you want. I need to meet you half way.”
He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. You sat there and thought about it. He seemed very sad and very sincere.
“I’ll give you one chance. Rafael, I’m not going back to the way we were. If you honestly think you can change I’m willing to make it work.”
You leaned in to kiss him but he said.
“I smell awful, let me go home, brush my teeth, change my clothes and come back here. After your shift is over I need to take you to the Bronx.
——
Six weeks later
“Mija! Look at this boat!” Lucia exclaimed.
“I know Lucia, did you see the itinerary? They have zip lining on a boat! Do you think Rafael will agree to go with me?” You enthused, knowing full well Rafael was going to sit by the pool and maybe try snorkeling.
“William, is this your first cruise?” You asked Dodds Sr.
You and Lucia had immediately become fast friends. You found out that Rafael had told his mother all about you. He just never introduced the two of you. You also really liked Dodds Sr. and the relationship Lucia and him had. She brought extra zing to his life he always said.
“I went on an Alaskan cruise fifteen years ago. Thanks for inviting Rafael, Mike never wants to do these things. He still likes camping, hey we should do a big campout! Mike, Alice, your mom, y/n and you!” Dodds Sr. said excitedly.
“William I don’t work over ninety hours so I can pretend to be homeless. Now you guys have your room, we’re going to ours let’s meet up at dinner. I think y/n wants to completely explore the ship.” Rafael said dryly.
As you entered your stateroom Rafael hugged you from behind very quickly.
“Rafael whats the hug for?”
“For still being mine.”
This is the cutest!!!! ❤️
esparzart reblogged
Dámelo papi
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