the sea in an ancient shell

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

hey. don't cry. h-o-t-t-o-g-o. you can take me hot to go.

also how come to this day my phone still tries to fill in laudanum when I try and write laundry

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

Me, watching my kitten hold still for a suspiciously long time: Ollie, are you peeing on my floor?

Ollie: Not

Me: Are you sure?

Ollie, grunting through time and space to push out a chocolate mcmuffin wider than he is tall: Not

Me, helpless, arms full of hot chili: Ollie, no! Ollie no! No, Ollie! God, Jesus, Ollie! Ollie, nooo!!

Ollie:

Artist's recreation of incident

Video of me trying to write the number 3 in professor layton game for 1 minute

Microdosing on executive function by completing tasks in video games

the most interesting color in my stash no absolutely delightful to spin yes

Gimme a drink bartender

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my biggest pet peeve in the world is when landlubbers design cool fantasy pirate cabins but completely forget that they’re on a fucking boat. yeah here’s a loose shelf with 50 glass bottles of rum on the top shelf. no there isn’t any sort of guard on the edge. “yeah sorry cap’n we hit One Wave a little weird and every single glass item you own crashed into the ground at once”

dating simulator where it starts normal but it slowly becomes clear that all of the romanceable characters are attempting to cover up an extremely specific murder they committed a year ago before you arrived

You know how it is with spaghetti

bread so tasty. bread so nice. toast it once. toast it twice.

toast three times. it turns to coal. burning toast is not my goal.