guy who just spawned into the map

Telling myself this every day here's a meme

No, you aren't "behind in life".

But, it's okay to grieve the time you spent surviving. The time spent trying to figure out what was wrong. The time spent healing to become a person again.

It wasn't your fault.

well my four year old cousin just asked me if i was a boy or a girl so i think im doing it right

i told her i wasnt either of those and she asked me if i was a chicken

behold a nonbinary

Bisan's recent post. I think it's important for you to read it. Tonight 03.12.23, journalists in gaza share their last messages. There are no words to describe the horrors unfolding in gaza right now.

I no longer have any hope of survival like I had at the beginning of this genocide, and I am certain that I will die in the next few weeks or maybe days. I have been sick with severe viral infection for days and cannot move from the mattress!

I suffer from nightmares that are so closely resemble reality that I no longer differentiate between reality and dream.

I live in a world other than the one I claimed to be building! I am a community activist who lived on the fantasy that the world was free and just, and I sought to bring rights not only to my people, but to many men and women in third world countries!

I was shocked that I was not from the third world! Indeed, we are the most humane and moral! Yes, because the world approves, supports, and finances the genocide we are being subjected to, legislates it, and gives reasons for for 58 days! While we are a people who have been living on occupied land for 75 years and are still searching for our rights and communicating our voice to the world!

My message to the world: You are not innocent of what is happening to us, you as governments or peoples that support Israel’s annihilation of my people. We will not forgive you, we will not forgive you, humanity will not forgive you, we will not forget, even if we die, the history will never forget .

A Message to friends: Thank you and the supporters around the world. You have been compassionate and very strong. We ask you not to lose hope, even if the world seems completely unfair and your efforts have not yet resulted in a ceasefire.

honestly will never forget this older client we had who told me how her life had gotten so much better with time and age and asked how old I was and when I told her I was 28, she said I was just a baby and reassured me I had so much time ahead of me and how much better it'll get as I grow into my life. There was such an indescribable amount of love and hope in that single interaction I think I'll hold it with me forever.

in my documence. straight up “writing it”. and by “it”, haha, let’s justr say. Words certainly

hey.

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

Michelle K, I Know I Deserve More

oh this is evil

What is that?

discord is adding parental surveillance. as nerdskii's tags pointed out its a ridiculous measure that doesnt help anyone because apps like Signal exist for actual illegal/sketchy activity and this just hurts lgbt teens looking for somewhere to be themselves and have resources especially with conservative parents

I use android. this is my secure folder, which was built into my phone. it has a customize option, so I've made it look like some bland fitness app. when you open it, it asks you to enter a password or unlock it in any other way you've set it to unlock before it lets you in

inside of this folder is like a 2nd phone almost, I can hide apps in here or have different accounts on apps I've already installed. I have a separate discord and tumblr inside of my secure folder (which I moved this blog to recently)

there are similar third party apps, usually disguised as a calculator that you set a certain number or calculation as the password to unlock. that's a lot more inconspicuous if opened, but also more well known, and parents might be looking out for any suspicious calculator apps

also, be careful what 3rd party apps you download, especially when it's concerning things like your accounts and data! make sure you're downloading something safe and secure

this isn't foolproof, depending on how far your parents are going to track you. if they've installed anything or had you install anything on your phone or computer, or had the chance while you weren't there, be careful for spyware. some apps report how long you look at each app, or can record sound from your phone on demand

also important: a good VPN can secure what you're looking at from the router, which parents may be able to access information from, but this also isn't guaranteed to work if the parental controls are set to block VPNs

another one, if your parents are tracking your location but not your app usage: download a GPS spoofer. you don't necessarily need to root your phone for this, as long as it's supported in developer settings. a lot of them are branded as tools for pokemon go, which can be helpful for plausible deniability

parents reading this: these are things I've learned from constantly having my shit taken and looked through as a teen. you aren't protecting your kids, you're ruining any chance of them trusting you with anything. if something goes wrong, you're going to be the last person they tell, because someone who goes to these lengths to see any little thing isn't going to be chill when something actually bad happens if this is how you act when literally nothing is happening

[Image ID: The first image is a screenshot from discord reading as follows:

The second image is a screenshot of what appears to be a fitness app with a smiling heart as an icon. End ID]

vulnerability is like so hard, if I told you anything sappy please know that I had a hand to hand combat with seven layers of embarrassment and repression

the glorification of your 20s and fear of anything else has got to stop. mainly bc your 20s is quite literally the worst decade of your life the idea that ppl think you peak at 25 has me so sad for them

also when ppl act like 20s is peak sexiness. im 26 so if you presented a 22 year old as the pinnacle of desirability i would morph into a chimpanzee and rip you limb from limb. WHAT am i supposed to do with someone who hasn't even gone thru the age 23 ego death

ngl i used to think 25 years old was like ancient when i was 16. i think that's just how ur brain works when you're a teen tbh. the main thing to know is that your life is not over in your 20s or 30s, that's usually when you first begin figuring out how you're gonna live your life. it's really not the end of your "prime" or whatever. that shit is spread by skincare and makeup companies to sell you shit. you're fine

Just realized that the reason I love making friends on tumblr is because it’s exactly how you make friends on the playground as a six year old. No, I don’t know their name but they love mermaids too and built this awesome sand castle. No, I don’t know their age but their imaginary cheetah is friends with mine. You like this show? You like this character?? You can sing the theme song really loud??? Here is a flower crown. Here is a juice box. You can share my time and I might never see you again but part of you stays in my soul forever. In my mind we’re still on the swing set and the sky is blue and nothing will ever be wrong again.

I don't think androgyny in general is genuinely valued but can we talk about how "desirable" androgyny is always about neutrality and removing as much as possible (white, super thin, no boobs no bulge no body hair) whereas "ugly" androgyny tends to be fat, hairy, full of gender (visible breasts/bulge), often involves people of color. like whenever we see sci fi Futuristic Androgyny it's always "we've removed all possible characteristics" never "we combined all these characteristics" & me myself? as someone who's androgyny is hairy and genderful and "ugly"? i notice

stop believing that you ran out of time to shape yourself into who you want to be! stop believing that its ruined! stop believing you don’t have potential! you are not a fixed being! you have endless opportunities to grow.

Any time I feel the grip of anxiety that I’m too old or don’t have time to do something with my limited hours after work, I just remember the wisdom of the ancients:

self-flagellation and self-bullying are all bad motivators for change BTW. it can be hard to escape from a spiral but genuinely u have to be nice to urself or nothing will change

you have to take care of yourself and not punch yourself down because you feel like you 'deserve it'. if you feel like the world is against you, you should at least be on your own side while you work through things.

I wanted to put a more positive spin on the popular skeleton leaving meme