I'm not Major Tom

MIURA HARUMA AS SHOUTA KAZEHAYA IN THE LIVE ACTION MOVIE OF "KIMI NI TODOKE". ✨

Sell in the winter to give someone a very confusing summer.

Well i can’t let those tags go unseen

In light of the new Spinosaurus discovery, I would like to remind everyone of the all-time king of “we don’t know what the fuck this fossil is.”

Harry Potter is completely unrealistic because no one ever asked to try on Harry’s glasses.

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

The witches have come to lay their claim.

a pair of mischievous goblins examine their new charge

Ebony and Tenebrous were aghast.  “Did you hear what those fairies gave her? Beauty, grace and willingness to please? Bast’s tits, that’s a terrible thing to do to a kitten.“ Ten got up on her hind legs. “Never trust a flying thing that gives you a mouthful of glitter when you catch it. Come on, Eb, let’s give her our gifts.” “Like half a shrew? I tried giving her that, her dam shouted at me.“ “Quite right too,“ said Ten wisely, “it’s got be at least four weeks before she can manage the skulls. That’ll be my gift then. May you always be able to manage skulls. Big ones, small ones, beaky ones, mousey ones, any sort of skull.“ Ebony copied her sister’s pose. “And may you always catch the flying things. Then you’ll never be hungry, and that’s much better than fairy wishes.” *** Thirty years later, Alba was everyone’s favourite keeper at the zoo. Not only could she cure her colleagues’ headaches just by telling their skulls to give over, but she was the only person they’d ever know who could work alone in the emu enclosure…

YES THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

I’ve never felt sorry for an emu in my life until right now.

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

“Cole once hosted a party in which the attendees discovered that they all had the word “bottom” in their surname.“

This man is my hero.

He’s like a Monty Python character.

He paved the way for future trolls and I fear that most of us have not lived up to the standards he set.

update: apparently the word was “shit”

in case anyone was as curious as I was

i feel like we dont talk enough about how two of the most decorated female hockey players ever, one a former captain for team canada and the other for the usa, fell in love and had a baby together 

small gay sports baby

Ok but where is my cheesey lesbian rom-com about them falling in love while playing against each other

Okay but the funniest part is this has happened multiple times. There are three instances of former Canadian and American national team players who have gotten married:

-Caroline Ouellette and Julie Chu (both former captains)

-Gillian Apps (former alternate captain) and Meghan Duggan (former captain)

-Jayna Hefford (former alternate captain) and Kathleen Kauth

Seriously it’s like tradition at this point. I’m sure there’s a betting pool on who’s going to get married next. God I love the rival lesbian jocks trope.

Concept: The Untamed AU where everything is the same except Chenqing is a kazoo.

its interesting that everyone sleeps differently, like, some people sleep on their side, some people sleep on their bellies and i’ve noticed a lot of people sleep on ikon.

give one word to describe Hwayugi ending…

My first biology professor had an ‘inadequacy drawer’ full of things to remind him he wasn’t, in fact, the dumbest and laziest person to ever exist. It was mostly Darwin, notably these two bits:

‘But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything.’

‘I am going to write a little Book for Murray on orchids and today I hate them worse than everything.’

“I am at work on the second vol. of the Cirripedia, of which creatures I am wonderfully tired: I hate a Barnacle as no man ever did before, not even a Sailor in a slow-sailing ship.”

-Charles Darwin on a letter to his cousin

Charles Darwin: unexpected depression hero.

I knew about “I am very poorly and very stupid and hate everybody and everything,” but not the others. 

“I hate myself, I hate clover, and I hate bees” is A Mood.

My favorite Darwinism: “I am dying by inches, from not having any body to talk to about insects”.  Hits me right at the center of my hyperfixated soul.

Remember when Jin Ling threatened his uncle who was masquerading as his uncle with death via his uncle?

And then Jin Ling's uncle showed up to kill Jin Ling's uncle, thinking it was Jin Ling's uncle, but then Jin Ling's future uncle came and stopped him? All without knowing that Jin Ling's uncle was actually Jin Ling's uncle in the body of Jin Ling's uncle.

And when Jin Ling's uncle and Jin Ling's future uncle figured out that Jin Ling's uncle was actually Jin Ling's uncle, Jin Ling's future uncle protected Jin Ling's uncle from Jin Ling's uncle, who thought that Jin Ling's uncle was really Jin Ling's uncle possessing Jin Ling's uncle, but then after Jin Ling's uncle hit Jin Ling's uncle with purple lighting, Jin Ling and Jin Ling's uncle thought that Jin Ling's uncle was just Jin Ling's uncle.

But Jin Ling's future uncle knew that it was really Jin Ling's uncle, in the body of Jim Ling's uncle.

Then Jin Ling's future uncle took Jin Ling's uncle who was disguised as Jin Ling's uncle on a trip to figure out whether or not Jin Ling's uncle was really behind the deaths of a lot of people, including Jin Ling's uncle.

But in the end, it was not Jin Ling's uncle who killed Jin Ling's demonic cultivator uncle, but his uncle, using Demonic Cultivation.

Then, Jin Ling's uncle, with the help of Jin Ling's future uncle, figured out that Jin Ling's uncle who was his uncle through his uncle manipulated his uncle into resurrecting his uncle, all for revenge on his uncle who killed his uncle who was his uncle through his uncle.

(Jin Ling's uncle did eventually reconcile with Jin Ling's uncle, due to help from Jin Ling's uncle)

I crack myself up, sometimes.

( -several of Jin Ling's uncles were unfortunately harmed in the making of this post ):

Mr Compress kidnapped two students back in Season 3 and called it a day, my man hasnt done anything since 

people here will be like “be gay do crime” and still think piracy is bad

Honestly i say it depends on the scale. Pirating an indie game? Bad. Stealing art from an independent artist? Very bad. Gonna illegally download Game of Thrones? You have bad taste in tv, but hbo will live. Want to hold Mickey Mouse ransom until Disney pays up? Morally you’ve committed no sin