Balm for the Broken, Ch. XXIX
Summary: Cheery young aide Elle Andersen has a natural propensity for care and comfort, making her an ideal compatriot for Captain America, Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes, and the rest of the ineffable Howling Commandos.
Warning(s): Language, war-related violence, character death; grief
Word Count: Approx. 13.5k
A/n: I am so excited to be posting this chapter! I’ve had the last paragraph written (particularly the last two lines) for about two years now, since October 2018. I hope you all enjoy!
Chapter XXIX: Ember
In the amber cup of a reluctant dawn, Elle felt her own heart snap in two. It was an undramatic sensation, coming quietly, after days of suppressed weeping, of silent struggles to look upon an emptier life than she had once had enough hope to envision. Her heart broke after practicalities: a mission briefing, wherein she was forced to listen as her husband’s death was described in the most distant details. He was a stranger to her, in dying. The Bucky she knew could not have left; could not have lost his grip upon the train door. The thought of her Bucky, her James, her love, simply falling into the icy depths of that ravine – it was almost laughable.
But her heart broke just the same.
Pillow crushed beneath her, Elle curled upon his narrow bed, clutching his shirt to her – white, worn, half-hanging from the top of his dresser. He had been in a hurry to leave, she thought, with a fresh wave of agony. The bedroom around her was in a surprising state of disarray, and she wondered if his mind had been as muddled as the pile of clothes on the chair; as the book left splayed on the bed.
She searched for him in everything. Walking through his room on soft, bare feet. There were splotches of warmth on the floor; someone had lit a fire. But holding his shirt to her, and sliding her arms through the sleeves was the closest thing to a warm embrace she could grasp now. The oppressive shape of Bucky’s absence lay against her, pushing her to the very edge of the mattress, nose buried in search of his scent.