Sometimes I hate writing in the Star Wars universe because there’s always that moment when I’m like “shit, do they call this basic material something different??” and end up searching for “glass” on fucking wookiepedia to make sure it’s not something stupid like ‘synthglass” or “transpari-sand”.

In some ways, I've just come out the other side of the "I don't give a fuck anymore" tunnel. After Wookieepedia-ing SW bowling (Rumble-pins or Egon, if you're curious), I lost faith after tge equivalent of banana which is... Banana.

Whiskey? Space whiskey. Cotton? Space cotton. There are nights my sanity meter is way too low to deal with this shit. XD

i have thought a lot about censorship and what is “appropriate”. not a lot of people know this, but lolita was written to show what we allow on our bookshelves: there being no swear words in it meant it was free from censorship. a book about child molestation was allowed because it didn’t explicitly use the word “fuck”. he wrote it to show we don’t really care about protecting children, and it ended up being seen as a romance.

someone once told me - actually, many people have - that lgbt content isn’t appropriate for children. any content. not just kissing. i’m drowned in questions: “won’t the parents have to explain it?” “kids shouldn’t be thinking about sex at this age, or do you think differently?” “what will the kids think?”

at six i saw disney movies. people kiss and get married. i didn’t ask “what does that mean.” i didn’t ask “are those people going to have sex?” i didn’t ask anything, because i was six, and no six year old thinks twice about these things. nobody ever “explained” being straight to me, it was a fact, and it existed, and i was fine with that. why would being gay require a thesis, i wonder.

someone once told me that the one of the reasons people hate lgbt individuals is because they can’t see us as anything but sexual. we’re not people, so much as sinners. that they don’t see love, they see sex. just sex. it’s perversion, not a matter of the heart. only of the body.

i think i was in my early twenties before i saw someone like me. 

how old were you, though, before you saw violence? before you saw sexual assault on tv? i think something like that is only pg-13, and if it’s implied, they can get away with anything. i remember watching things and learning about blood, but knowing sex - sex was what was really wrong. sex was always rated r. sex was always kind of a bad word. i was told a lot that i wasn’t ready.

i had a dream last night that i made a site where people could ask any question they wanted about sex and get answered by a professional. it was shut down in moments because 15 year olds wanted to know if it should hurt, if “double-bagging” was a real thing, if this, if that. we shudder. don’t let the children know about that! 

but at thirteen i had seen enough violence it no longer struck me. i couldn’t say “fuck” but i knew that if you break your femur, you can bleed out internally in under half an hour. in school i wasn’t allowed to write about loving girls because what would the administration think - but i could write about wanting to kill myself and people would say how lovely, how blistering.

i have thought a lot about censorship. sometimes people on this site try it with me: don’t write this, don’t be so nasty. some of it is intrinsic. we know as people with a uterus not to complain about “that time of the month”, we know better than to talk about sexual assault (how shameful), we know that talking about a vagina is somehow scandalous. i can say “dick” and nobody questions me. some people only refer to the bottom half of me by “pussy”. they won’t wrap a mouth around “vagina” like it’s poison to them. even discussing this, that the language halts, that there’s an intrinsic desire to say “girls” instead of “women” - feels naughty, illicit. not for children.

the other day someone suggested i make my blog 18+. i said, okay, it deals a lot with depression and other problems that might be for a mature audience. oh no, they said, that’s not it, i think that’s helpful. i said, okay. so what is it then. well, you’re gay. you write about loving women. and i said, i don’t write about sex often and they said. it’s not about the sex. but wlw isn’t for a general audience. teenagers aren’t ready.

oh.

lolita is recommended for high school and up. i think about that a lot. i know girls who love it, who say it speaks to them on a deep level. it’s beautiful prose, after all. that was the whole point of the novel. something that looked like a rose but was intrinsically awful. i think about how if i was a model they’d want me to look young, thin, prepubescent. how my body would be sold and how through the mall i walk by images of barely-clothed women while mothers cannot breastfeed in public without fear of retribution. 

i think about how i can write a novel about violence and it will be pg-13 but if my characters say “fuck” twice it’s inappropriate. i said fuck three times so far in this post, which makes it only appropriate for adults. 

i think about that, and how my identity is something that people suggest lines up with a swear word. that people shouldn’t talk about it. that it’s a vulgarity. bad for children, harsh, confusing.

fuck. i love women. which one makes this only for those over eighteen.

She's not lying when she said it was epic and epically disturbing. I'll go over some points as well, but tomorrow after my exam.

But a good example was our headcannoned "Brontes and Styrak had feelings for each other that transcended their already unhealthy attachment as a whole. That Brontes should have known not to face the OPS team alone. They'd killed Styrak already. She should have waited to fight them as five, not alone.

And yet she stood alone at the Fortress' doors. Because she couldn't live without Styrak. More so than the others couldn't. Because she was the first on Oricon and faced the Phobis Devices alone, she was also the most... Changed/addled/vulnerable, and Styrak was the soundest of them all.

But this is verging into more headcanon territory my study-addled brain can't properly brain. Still, that's a good place to start. (Hah. Starting at the beginning of the end.)

Oh, and also that Brontes slipped away from the others to fight you, and implanted the Wings of the Architect herself. She doesn't have them before DF, in the scenes where you hallucinate (?) them on Oricon. That must have been a fun procedure

maybemalapert replied to your post: Pia, I wanted to say I love everything you write,…

I’m very fortunate that I haven’t encountered too much in author’s notes to make me stop reading (it’s mostly all ‘enjoy the fic / thank you for reading / thanks to my betas / sorry I haven’t updated / I hope you like the chapter’ rigamarole that like 99% of authors who leave author’s notes do lol).

I have encountered very guilt-trippy ‘leave comments’ demands, and fic authors who hold fics hostage with emotional demands like ‘I will not write another chapter until you comment’ are an automatic ‘thanks but no thanks’ followed by clicking out of the tab. Honey vs. vinegar and flies and all that. It’s funny because I have no problems at all with a more honest ‘I’m worried no one likes this fic because there’s so few comments if anyone has the time I’d like to know what you think’ kind of thing.

And I have very rarely encountered ‘this usually underage character is aged up for this fic and if you like reading underage you deserve to rot in hell.’ I don’t read those, lol.

But yeah it’s…hard. And it’s not just us. I know a lot of folks who just won’t follow authors on the principle that ‘it’s ruined too many of my favourite books/fics.’ My adoration of Robin Hobb soured when I realised how disdainful and contemptuous she was towards fanfiction writers (and yet loves fanart!!). But it also makes me tremendously glad when I sort of get to ‘know’ an author (as much as you ever can) and develop a deep appreciation for them separate to their wonderful stories. Any writer I follow with this account is in that category.

But yeah it’s very painful I think when you read a fic or book that seems to resonate very personally, and then distantly begin to feel like ‘this author is my people’ (or like kin) only to realise that for whatever reason, they’d likely dislike you or reject you if you met them (or vice versa), based on views/attitudes they hold outside of their writing. The bigger the influence a work has on your self and soul, the more painful it feels. It’s not like that for everyone, I know, but…it’s like that for some of us. *hugs*

I think my worst experience was when I commented on a fic that dealt with bipolar disorder in one of the characters and, in an episode, that character was making a very bad decision. So I commented stating I thought that, and that I hoped he'd see how unhealthy it was (note: the way it was handled in the fic itself pointed at everyone thinking it unhealthy but that one character) and would feel better soon.

Abd then the author attacked me for daring to tell her how to write her character and how dare i think I can judge them for their choices.

I replied I didn't mean it that way, and anyway I liked the fic a lot, I hoped she could update soon....

.... At which point she attacked me for daring to pressure her into writing and how dare I tell her to rush RL in order to write, and she would when she could. Also, not to call her "dear" like we're friends.

It just... Really turned me off them completely, and this was on the third book. I don't understand why people attack their readers like this.

I love how you're replying to him seriously. XD

#relatable

me today

Me everyday.

Me: wow it’s so sad that alderaan gets blown up

Me: *meets the nobles on alderaan in swtor*

Me: pull the trigger piglet

-spoilers for the BH storyline-

I went a little OOC with my BH there - just a little - but beating the snot out of one of them felt so, so, so good. Revenge for all my other toons

lms if u have naturally curly/wavy hair and it kinda just does whatever it wants and it looks best when you wash it and let it air dry and you wash it and its soft and bouncy and pretty but u go to sleep and its smushed and nothing u do can bring it back because its flat curly and u just gotta wash it again to make it look good does someone understand

Yes to all of this

IT ME

Mine does the thing where half of it makes perfectly formed, gorgeous riglettes, but one fourth is slightly wavy strands and the other fourth is frizz?

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues 

“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we - did we break our human?”

a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises. 

“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.” 

How to Ride a Werewolf

Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…

I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS POST IN A YEAR.

psa: don’t mention commissions/patreon on AO3

Hi guys! So I know we all don’t actually read the terms and conditions of things and just hit agree assuming there’s nothing important in there (I do it too oops) but if you take writing commissions or anything involving money, then there’s actually something in the AO3 terms and conditions to be aware of.

Today someone reported one of my fics as violating this condition - presumably because I’d mentioned my patreon in the author’s note (I wasn’t actively requesting donations either… I’d literally just mentioned that it existed, and that the fic in question was written as a thank-you for hitting one of my goals).

I’ve written to AO3 to check whether just saying ‘thank you to those who support me on patreon’ is fine and I’ll let you guys know when they get back to me, but if it’s still going too far in terms of being a ‘commercial promotion’ then I’ll just avoid mentioning this in the future! :’)

As I said, someone did actually report my fic for this - so there are people out there who are noticing/reporting these situations. Please be aware of this if you take fic commissions, or use patreon or ko-fi, because your account could end up suspended, which of course no one wants!

<3 <3

UPDATE: AO3 got back to me - you’re not allowed to mention or link to patreon at all, regardless of how it’s phrased. Not sure if it’s the same for ko-fi but it might be better to be safe than sorry!

<3 @kahnah23 relevant to you and possibly some others~

That’s a fucking bullshit rule, I’m sorry. They shouldn’t deny you the opportunity to advertise your own work.

archive of our own is run by the organization for transformative works. ao3 and the other services that otw offers - including legal services for fan creators who get in legal trouble - are nonprofit organizations.

this isn’t just a self-determined descriptor; that’s a legal definition that requires adherence to specific rules and laws regarding income, profit, and donations.

this isn’t a “bullshit rule” just meant to prevent creators from advertising. in op’s post, the contact from ao3 offers a roundabout way to advertise. this rule ensures that ao3 and the organization for transformative works to stay a non-profit organization - this “bullshit rule” is essentially a way so that ao3 and the other services that the organization for transformative works can stay online.

Hey, folks! A bit of clarification on this point. Courtesy of the lovely people from our Legal and Abuse committees, here’s how things are:

What the TOS FAQ says is: “We want the Archive to remain a non-commercial space. That means that it isn’t the right place for offering merchandise, even fan-related merchandise. Linking to your personal page (not, for example, an Amazon author page) is fine, even if the personal page includes some items for sale, but the Archive is not advertising space.”

We made this rule to keep the Archive focused on its original mission of protecting noncommercial transformative works, and to avoid confusion about the relationship between the Archive and individual creators. Donations to individual creators are not donations to the Archive, so they don’t affect our status as a nonprofit as such, but we still need a rule that enables our small, hard-working abuse team to enforce an anti-commercialization rule as fairly as possible.

It is acceptable to mention something like “This work was commissioned by Mary Sue,” but creators should not link directly to their fundraising pages or solicit donations on the Archive. We do not want to suspend accounts over this, and creators are given notice if there’s a problem. We presume good faith, and if you think Abuse has made a mistake about your work, you can appeal any decision requiring the removal of a link.

I’m glad AO3 has weighed in directly on this. Personally I am a really big believer in their TOS on this issue, and think that they find the best compromise possible to hold true to their original mission, while still allowing authors to have advertisements on their personal pages etc.

I wrote to AO3 about Patreon about two years ago (also reminder: getting paid for fanfiction on Patreon is against their Terms of Service too, and I was asking regarding original fiction hosted on AO3) and they were really wonderful about explaining and clarifying how it works, why it shouldn’t be mentioned, and that I can mention it on my Tumblr page. In the fairness of what the AO3 is trying to be - I actually have tremendous respect for how they enforce this, and hope others can also see the spirit of what the AO3 is trying to stay true to here.

@acheesecakewrites I can’t quite recall if you mention patreon, but I think you do? Best to be safe. :3

@karikateora I did, but I got an email from them and I’ve taken all of the mentions down already. Thanks for looking out for me! <3

@acheesecakewrites Ah, wonderful. ^_^ It would be such a huge bummer if your account got suspended. ^_^ Have a pleasant evening. ^_^