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kaijutegu

@kaijutegu / kaijutegu.tumblr.com

strange, sweet creature

the "dire wolves are no longer extinct" stuff is gonna be the most annoyingly persistent science misinformation for the next decade at least

my theory is they went with dire wolves because its inaccurate pop culture depictions make it the easiest famous extinct animal to evoke to the average person. if you're trying to make something marketable to investors and the news, anything people would see as cool or notable enough to care about, like a dinosaur or a woolly mammoth or a dodo, is really hard to genetically edit into existence, theoretically even more difficult because everyone expects them to look like a cool movie monster instead of a relatively normal looking animal; the exception being dire wolves, which people both see as a cool marketable fantasy creature and also happen to think looks exactly like a normal wolf (as opposed to the large dog that isn't that closely related to grey wolves they actually are)

It's hilarious to me how Colossal Biosciences wants to be movie-version John Hammond but are 100% book-version John Hammond. In the Jurassic Park novel, it's very clear: John Hammond is a con artist who gives people an illusion, not the truth. He knew from the beginning that what he was making weren't dinosaurs, but he didn't care because he had a story to sell. He wasn't just "filling in gaps" with the frog dna, his scientists were basically making things up from whole cloth and he had no pretence about it- but he also knew what the public wanted to believe.

These are not dire wolves. These are GMO gray wolves. Dire wolves aren't even in the same genus as gray wolves, and we know this from genetics.

What Colossal is doing is scamming the public. They want you to believe that they can pull off miracles. They can't. It's the flea circus where everything is mechanised, but because you want to believe, you "see" the fleas. They might be good at genetic modification and they might be good at hyping themselves up, but they haven't de-extincted the dire wolf. They didn't activate mammoth genes in a mouse. They are lying to you and they're going to keep doing it. Don't believe the hype.

It's from Jurassic Park!

"You know the first attraction I ever built, when I came down from Scotland? It was a flea circus, Petticoat Lane."

“Really?”

“Quite wonderful. We had a wee trapeze, a merry-go-round- carousel- and a see-saw. They all moved, motorized of course, but people would say they could see the fleas. Oh, I can see the fleas, Mummy, can’t you see the fleas? Clown fleas and high-wire fleas and fleas on parade. But this place? I wanted to show them something that wasn’t an illusion. Something that was real. Something that they could see and touch. An aim not devoid of merit."

In the book, his preceding venture is described differently:

"Hammond was flamboyant, a born showman, and back in 1983 he had had an elephant that he carried around with him in a little cage. The elephant was nine inches high and a foot long, and perfectly formed, except his tusks were stunted. Hammond took the elephant with him to fund-raising meetings. Gennaro usually carried it into the room, the cage covered with a little blanket, like a tea cozy, and Hammond would give his usual speech about the prospects for developing what he called “consumer biologicals.” Then, at the dramatic moment, Hammond would whip away the blanket to reveal the elephant. And he would ask for money. The elephant was always a rousing success; its tiny body, hardly bigger than a cat’s, promised untold wonders to come from the laboratory of Norman Atherton, the Stanford geneticist who was Hammond’s partner in the new venture. But as Hammond talked about the elephant, he left a great deal unsaid.

For example, Hammond was starting a genetics company, but the tiny elephant hadn’t been made by any genetic procedure; Atherton had simply taken a dwarf-elephant embryo and raised it in an artificial womb with hormonal modifications. That in itself was quite an achievement, but nothing like what Hammond hinted had been done.

Also, Atherton hadn’t been able to duplicate his miniature elephant, and he’d tried. For one thing, everybody who saw the elephant wanted one. Then, too, the elephant was prone to colds, particularly during winter. The sneezes coming through the little trunk filled Hammond with dread. And sometimes the elephant would get his tusks stuck between the bars of the cage and snort irritably as he tried to get free; sometimes he got infections around the tusk line. Hammond always fretted that his elephant would die before Atherton could grow a replacement. Hammond also concealed from prospective investors the fact that the elephant’s behavior had changed substantially in the process of miniaturization. The little creature might look like an elephant, but he acted like a vicious rodent, quick-moving and mean-tempered. Hammond discouraged people from petting the elephant, to avoid nipped fingers. And although Hammond spoke confidently of seven billion dollars in annual revenues by 1993, his project was intensely speculative. Hammond had vision and enthusiasm, but there was no certainty that his plan would work at all."

Basically, the tl;dr is that I'm saying that like John Hammond, this company is making promises they can't keep based on science they aren't doing, and the public is lapping it up because they want to believe. They want to see the fleas, even when the fleas aren't there to be seen.

It's hilarious to me how Colossal Biosciences wants to be movie-version John Hammond but are 100% book-version John Hammond. In the Jurassic Park novel, it's very clear: John Hammond is a con artist who gives people an illusion, not the truth. He knew from the beginning that what he was making weren't dinosaurs, but he didn't care because he had a story to sell. He wasn't just "filling in gaps" with the frog dna, his scientists were basically making things up from whole cloth and he had no pretence about it- but he also knew what the public wanted to believe.

These are not dire wolves. These are GMO gray wolves. Dire wolves aren't even in the same genus as gray wolves, and we know this from genetics.

What Colossal is doing is scamming the public. They want you to believe that they can pull off miracles. They can't. It's the flea circus where everything is mechanised, but because you want to believe, you "see" the fleas. They might be good at genetic modification and they might be good at hyping themselves up, but they haven't de-extincted the dire wolf. They didn't activate mammoth genes in a mouse. They are lying to you and they're going to keep doing it. Don't believe the hype.

Watching Cutthroat Kitchen while crocheting and Jesus Christ Alton don't say it like that

WAIT

I JUST REMEMBERED HEARING AN ELON MUSK QUOTE WHERE HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HE BELIEVES CHESS IS "TOO SIMPLE" OR WHATEVER AND HE SAID HIS FAVORITE GAME WAS A GAME CALLED "POLYTOPIA"

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT IVE PLAYED POLYTOPIA

It being Elon's favorite game (or at least one so important to him that his biographer dedicates a lot of time to it) is.....really really funny.

Basically, imagine Civilization, but as a mobile game. So like if Civilization Revolution was even more dumbed down (that's a Civilization insult. That's devastating. It's devastated right now). For what it's worth, it's not a bad game. On the contrary, from what I could tell in the little bit of time I played it, it's a perfectly competent game with good design. But it's not a deep game by any means. I played through it once, won easily on my first go, then saw that the other playable characters had barely any differences between them.

Like, not to imply you can judge a book by its cover, but here's what it looks like

I came across an article by Dave Karpf discussing this exact thing, and I think it describes it wonderfully

Musk straight up admitting he can't win a fair match that requires thought or strategy. Only simple things he can get an unfair advantage in so ne can feel smart when he wins. A perfect metaphor for his whole damn life.

Also kids typically play chess with their friends, and do you honestly think he had any?

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Does anyone think about fishing in Animal Crossing and horse-riding in Sylvanian Families? Because I do. Still, we've committed to the poisson d'avril bit. For now. This was one of our Patreon stickers for our Mail Tier friends, but you can get the real* jester fish in our Clowning Around sticker sheet! 🤗🐟

The only time I had an octopus villager in animal crossing was Zucker, and I kept giving him octopuses I dived for and found.

The thing is, his house... was a takoyaki stand.

And he only ever put one of those octopuses on display.

aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

I see that, and raise you my local aquarium's advertising.

Vancouver Aquarium has similar ads!

They also have some SERIOUSLY inventive ones:

(High and Low Tide ^)

the only type of advertising that should exist: "ooooohhhh you want to come look at the animal"

You guys have seen NEAQ's tentacles adverts, right?

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April 2025's Tiny Reptile and Mini Amphibian pin designs: Argentine Black & White Tegu and Spotted Salamander 🦎

These designs are available as pins and stickers on my Patreon until the end of day today and will ship in April!

These are so cute!

you best believe I've been signed up for this pin club since... a while now.

Ok now that she has it in her possession I can post it- I made my bestie a shawl for trans day of visibility and look how cute it turned out!

I really enjoy tasseling.

Sad Bastard Expectations

It's 2025, and we're sadder than ever!

Maybe it's time for a Sad Bastard Cookbook sequel? Maybe a spin-off for parents of small children? Maybe both?

I'm new here. What's a Sad Bastard Cookbook?

Glad you asked! We wrote a cookbook full of judgement-free recipes you can make when you're suffering from mental illness, physical disability, poverty, or anything else late-stage capitalism throws up that makes basic self-care feel impossible. Some of the recipes were our own, some we collected from the community.

The ebook is free--you can download a copy here if you wanna check it out.

I'm a community! Or at least, a Person! Can I contribute my recipe for survival food?

YES PLEASE.

If you have a survival recipe that you make for yourself, or to feed a baby, toddler, or small child, please share that recipe here.

I’m a fan of the original Sad Bastard Cookbook—when will the new ones be here?

We really have no idea. We’re in the very early planning and writing stages of the two projects, but when we have more information, you’ll probably see it here first!

Signal boost!

Sad Bastard Cookbook is one of my most recommended cookbooks, right up there with Leanne Brown's Good and Cheap. Everybody in my circle is a sad bastard, pretty much, myself included, and this book is a lifesaver.

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Something really neat I saw at Brookfield Zoo yesterday - not only are these signs not AI art but they actually credited the designers/illustrators AND the people who took the reference photos!

And like, this is IMPORTANT. It's important because art and photography are work, and important work for science and education. It's important because it gives human beings recognition. It's important because other zoos aren't necessarily doing this- like, I'm a member at Mesker in Evansville and I caught them using an unidentified AI image in an article about an animal. If I'm reading a zoo's publication, I should be able to trust that everything in there is real. I shouldn't have to wonder if I'm looking at a sea turtle or a machine's hallucination of what a sea turtle might be. I should be able to trust that what I'm getting is verifiable.

These are just signs on a privacy fence while they renovate the pachyderm yards. They're not really education, they're not designed to be studied, they're not even designed to be here long-term- they're just here to be pleasant and distract from construction. The zoo could have used AI to make these designs and slapped some text on top. Very few people would have noticed, and fewer would have cared.

But they didn't. They took the time and money to have real people design these signs, and they took the time and money to use real photographs for reference. They said, without saying it out loud, that there's value in human graphic design and human work, and that they care enough about the environmental and ethical concerns surrounding AI image generation to take the more expensive, more time-consuming option.

And I appreciate that.

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