What if we logged into tumblr one day, and some of us just had blue verification checkmarks next to our urls but nobody knew why and staff was completely silent on the subject

new meme idea

photoshopping the nintendo logo onto things that nintendo clearly did not make. for example:

@nintendoheritageposts

Nintendo Heritage Post

True Nintendo Heritage Post

get lost

i was here first

oh dear god

@pokemonheritageposts

you guys know that the reblog function is the main feature of this site right ? its that little recycle looking symbol at the bottom next to the like button, you can add a comment if you want you can write something in the tags that your followers and the op will see. its like the main feature of this site

im not trying to sound rude in saying this but i have had 5 people with completely empty blogs follow me in the last hour or so and like im sure that makes sense on instagram or something but here it just makes you look like a bot account here and people will block you under that assumption. go reblog a post you like. go reblog an image of a snail

reblog this snail

excuse me favorite character did i give you permission to die

(Soundwave voice) LAKE SUPERIOR

REPUBLICANS INFERIOR

Can't believe nobody has added the thrilling sequel:

Hello 911 I just witnessed two entire murders

Andrew Garfield’s acting is so good in the social network that he made me fall in love with an economics major

do not judge my reblogs. it is not my fault jesse eisenberg and andrew garfield played the literal inventors of facebook Like That.

do you religiously recite “mark! MARK! he’s wired in. sorry? he’s wired in. is he? yes. [epic laptop smash] how about now, you’re still wired in? call security. you issued 24 million new shares of stock. you were told that if new investors came along- how much were your shares diluted? how much were his?! you signed the papers. you set me up. you’re gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a bad business deal with your own company? this is gonna be like I’m not a part of facebook. it won’t be like you’re not a part of facebook, you’re not a part of facebook. my name’s on the masthead. you might wanna check again. is it because I froze the account? if you think we were gonna let you parade around in your ridiculous suits pretending you were running this company- soOORRY, MY PRADA’S AT THE CLEANERS! ALONG WITH MY HOODIE AND MY FUCK-YOU FLIP FLOPS, YOU PRETENTIOUS DOUCHEBAG! security’s here, you will be leaving now. I’m not signing those papers. we will get the signature. tell me this isn’t about me getting into the phoenix… you- you did it. I knEW YOU DID IT. you planted that story about the chicken! I didn’t plant the story about the chicken. what’s he talking about? you had me accused of animal cruelty. seriously, what the hell’s the chicken? and I’ll bet what you hated the most, is that they identified me as a co-founder of facebook. which. I. am. you better lawyer up, asshole. because I’m not coming back for 30%, I’m coming back for everything.” or are you normal? :D

I need people to stop reminding me that Mark Zuckerberg is a real person and not a fictional character played by Jesse Eisenberg who was in a doomed romantically charged friendship with his best friend and soulmate Eduardo Saverin, another totally fictional character played by Andrew Garfield in the very fictional not at all based on reality movie The Social Network. They are NOT real to me. The real Zuck can zuck on it.

fucked up that I just found out Facebook is real and not just the setting of acclaimed gay art house film The Social Network

I wonder how mark zuckerberg feels about the fact that he revolutionized social media and the general internet landscape, thereby opening the door for people to come online years later and say that the movie about him and his college best friend is totally gay

This isn't even a hate message this is just the funniest possible thing in the universe. I'm losing my shit laughing right now

I've had enough of society being catered to morning people.. it's time for everything to be pushed back like two hours

Or you could get off your ass and rise with the sun. You'll feel better if you fix your circadian rhythm and eat food that's actually good for you

Anyway, you fucking weirdo, they did studies that concluded that the most efficient work day is 10am to 4pm, no longer than 6 hours, and people will be most productive if a work week is between 26 and 32 hours.

But you do you, ig.

and for ADHD folks (and astronomers, and other people whose rhythm isn't driven by the sun), sometimes the best working hours don't start until after noon

A circadian rhythm that's different than that rewarded by modern capitalist society isn't broken and trying to adjust to one that's not yours can be harmful.

ADHDer w/ delayed sleep phase syndrome I can say with full confidence that I function so much worse when I try to change my sleep schedule. And my sleep doctor never recommended I try to make it the same as society’s. Just a little bit closer so I can get by without having no good sleep at all. Circadian rhythms are naturally varied and it’s a fucking burden to society to expect that everyone’s got the same one.

People are always talking about making John Green say “I love cocks” when it comes to having fun with tumblr’s ability to edit everyone’s posts but that one post where that person was saying fuckers and it got repeatedly edited to fudgers and meaners was 10000% funnier

This one?:

#none of this reaches the level of one time when staff made a post about a website update #and someone deleted the whole post and instead wrote #Were Deleting This Website Sayonara You Weeaboo Shits #i think about that literally every day its been ten years #every night i think to myself Sayonara you weeaboo shits (@cryptovocel) 

here u go 

choclay ornage is also pretty high up there

this is one of my favorites for sure

Back when this site truly was lawless.

i think the world doesn’t know what it really means to live in a theocratic dictatorship. Let me tell you about our experiences living in the islamic regime of iran.

1. Your parents were born to muslim parents so they’re automatically muslim. You’re automatically a muslim too. You didn’t choose your religion and you can’t opt out of it or you will be executed.

2. The compulsory hijab law makes you a criminal if you choose not to wear hijab even tho you didn’t choose to be a muslim and you don’t consider yourself a muslim but the regime has forced you into that role whether you like it or not. And when you ‘break that law’, they can do with you as they please.

3. little girls as young as 7 yrs old are forced to wear hijab at school even tho the islam itself says the age is 9. and all the schools are gender segregated so imagine how they force you to get used to hijab even when you’re just surrounded by other girls. And all day long at school they tell you horrible stories about what will happen to you in hell if someone sees even a strand of your hair.

4. the regime modifies all the textbooks, story books, cartoons and movies to represent the ideal woman with full on hijab. The iranian media is ordered to photoshop every photo of a woman that may be showing a little skin. And if they’re iranian, no hair is supposed to be seen or that will be photoshopped away. Women are mostly excluded from billboards and tv commercials.

5. imagine going to work or meeting up with a friend when suddenly the morality police kidnap you in broad daylight and force you into a van to take you to a station where they will treat you like a criminal and if you don’t agree to get humiliated and do as they say, they will put you in prison. And in case of Mahsa Amini and so many more before her, they will beat you to death. My sister was barely 18 when she got kidnapped and they didn’t let her call home and she’d been so fucking scared and we had no idea where she was. Imagine all the psychological trauma.

6. If you’re in a car and not wearing hijab they will fine you and seize your car. So when u get into a taxi the driver will ask you to keep your hijab on otherwise they’ll get fined. And if you refuse they’ll ask you to get off the car.

7. And its not just about hijab. In Ramadan, they get even more vicious. If they catch you eating or even drinking water on the street they will give you lashes as punishment and even imprison you for breaking the law. If you work in a state-owned company it’s even worse. They will close the cafeteria and take away the water dispensers. All restaurants are banned from delivering food before iftar. It’s a fucking mess. Everyone has to pretend they’re fasting or they’ll be severely punished.

8. And how could I forget about this! iranian women are banned from singing! the islamic regime prohibits women’s singing voices to be heard by men so imagine the horror of having 50% of the population banned from ever becoming a singer. If they identify a female singer in iran, they will take her to jail and force her to repent her sins in the most humiliating way so that she will never dare sing again.

9. And every time the regime gets wind of a private gathering of men and women trying to have fun and live their fucking private lives, the police crash the party and take everyone to jail bc the Islamic regime bans iranian men and women from having fun.

So if you see Islam has become for many iranians a symbol of oppression and torture and discrimination, that’s why. The regime uses islam as a weapon to silence and punish anyone who opposes them. You can love islam all you want from the safety of your home in a free country and talk about how kind and benevolent the religion is, but in iran, it’s a whole different story.

Our economy is fucked. All govt officials are corrupt as fuck. Most websites are banned in iran. Even tumblr is banned. The world has cut the iranian ppl from many services. We don’t have intl credit cards like visa card. Amazon doesn’t do delivery to iran. We cant get netflix, spotify or even a gamepass subscription. we don’t get any Apple services here. iran isn’t listed as a country you could choose when signing up for a lot of services. and when we decide to leave iran and escape this hellhole, every country out there will make it sooo much harder for us to get a visa just bc we had the misfortune to be born in iran at the wrong time.

This is the story of iran for the past 44 years. Held hostage by a corrupt regime that uses religion to suppress and torture the people and being abandoned by the rest of the world bc our lives don’t matter.

Please be our voice. Once they shut down the internet completely and silence our voice, they will start slaughtering us to stifle the protests just like they did in 2019. Please help us. We want this fucking regime gone.