FOXY

I’ve not really thought about this in years. I am who I am and in general I think it’s incredibly easy to treat people with respect and I’ve never struggled with that. I do wear coloured contact lenses for work to make my patients feel more comfortable and remove my headscarf because it’s not typical in Finnish culture and it just raises more questions.

The stereotypes you’re referring to are never an issue when I see patients. It’s only outside of work and always from people who don’t know me.

As a doctor who has worked for many NGOs in similar conditions I cannot stress enough how abnormal this is. Doctors Without Borders (MSF) is often granted access to war zones and disaster areas whether they’re man-made or caused by natural events because MSF is globally respected and trusted. MSF volunteers help people in need in the midst of some of the world’s most harrowing conflicts and they do so irrespective of their patients’ race, religion, or political convictions. A person in need, whether they’re viewed as an aggressor or an innocent victim are both treated equally. The fact that the IOF first attacked their clearly marked convoy and then later returned to destroy the evidence is in itself a cause for grave concern. This is not normal. These are not just random cars burning in a war zone. They’re a breach of a decades-long understanding between MSF/all similar NGOs and all militaries and militia groups. These burning cars are just another clear sign of genocidal intent because the actions of the IOF say no-one is allowed to help the Palestinians, not even for free. This is the 9th stage of genocide – extermination – and will undoubtedly be followed by stage 10: a complete denial of any crime by the Israeli government.

Because they don’t accept any criticism.

I don’t regret many things in my life nor would I ever take back what I said and did but I truly wish I had not fallen into their trap. I was followed and surveilled and in the end they did it openly wanting me to know that they knew where I was going and who I was meeting with, making their presence felt. It resembles scientology in a way; if you’re a persona non grata someone is always standing near you, harassing you, taking pictures and not answering any questions if they’re spoken to. It drives you mad.

My best friend’s mother was born in Tel Aviv – but later emigrated to the UK because she didn’t agree with the politics – so he has some extended family in Israel. They’re activists and wanted to meet us and I also wanted to meet a OB/GYN colleague/activist in Al-Khalil I’d only ever spoken to online and on the phone. We picked Eurovision week because we thought it wouldn’t draw attention since we go every year. My mother’s side were active members of NSDAP so like whatever, I knew I’d be on some naughty list despite having cut off all ties to my family the day I turned 18. Unfortunately, Gary was also a target right away because of his family connections and he was understandably very frightened and distressed when he was approached and suddenly questioned about it. At the end of the week I lost my temper and we were escorted to our gate at Ben Gurion. I was never given a court order or any paper, they just took more pictures and told me that I wouldn’t be able to board a flight to Israel ever again and I believe them, they’re fucking thorough in their suppression of any criticism. Gary doesn’t know his status but has been too scared to even try to go back.

No-one took video, nothing went viral. I can’t see my friends anymore. They defeated me. I didn’t gain anything and I also didn’t help anyone with my loud TED talk titled “Israel is a terrorist state”.

I got barred from entering Israel in 2019. Perhaps this answers your question.

I can’t remember the last time I felt spontaneous joy. Simple things used to make me happy, like cooking or playing with our cats.

Gary arranged a surprise trip for us to Prague and Berlin last month. He took me to Michelin-star restaurants, the Prague zoo, a Hatari gig and had booked really nice hotels. I’ve been meaning to visit Jüdische Museum for a long time but I’ve kept postponing it because it’s a bit upsetting I guess. He went with me, which was nice. This whole trip made me feel appreciated but also anxious when I think about how much money he must have spent on me.

The only thing I can say I miss from the past is our London house. It was the nicest place I’d ever lived in and it was our home when we got married. I don’t miss the life, just the house.

Pregnancy material should not have more rights than a living, breathing, sentient human being. Forced pregnancy is torture and a human rights violation. During my career as an OB/GYN I've found that people who aren't convinced by this reasoning are either raging misogynists actively looking for ways to hurt women as much as possible, or have room temperature IQ.

It’s 4:10 a.m. and the sun is up. Can someone just fucking kill me, please.

“A woman can be the sluttiest slut in the entire world, she can love having orgasms all day and all night long, and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly. Women’s enjoyment of sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men’s enjoyment of sex and irresponsible ejaculations do….”

I’m sorry but today I’ve got nothing. I wish I could cheer you up but all I can say is, stay the hell away from men. They hate you. In every country and every culture, they hate you.

I don't think I've ever seen a kangaroo irl and have no idea how they actually fight. I guess I'd run first, then RNC if I get a chance. I'm 6ft5 and I just googled that the average male kangaroo is the perfect height for that. But honestly, I'd most likely die.

It's been my nickname since childhood.

Finally. I’ve been singing to this orchid for a year.