so, uh, i have a carrd now: ar1t3m1s.carrd.co feel free to check it out i guess (don’t reblog this)

“Where there’s no name for a problem, you can’t see a problem, and when you can’t see a problem, you pretty much can’t solve it.” - Kimberlé Crenshaw on intersectionality

To those who can’t seem to comprehend why transmascs are insisting on a word to describe their intersection of transphobia and misogyny (and conditionally anti-masculine sentiment)

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Leonard Pollard

My mom was having trouble using they/them prnouns with some friends for a while. One day she said “I think the problem is that I haven’t changed the way I view their gender outside of their pronouncs which adds several extra steps in converting binary pronouns to they/them then conjugating it. So I need to shift how I see them as a gendered person entirely to make using their pronouns easier.” And since then she hardly ever messes up.

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A lot of the cis people in my life need this

This is literally why people mess up pronouns and why it’s a problem.

Like the reason you’re not calling me “they” is because you still think of me as gendered the way you initially assumed. It’s not just the pronouns I want you to change, they only serve as an acknowledgement of the gender I want you to adjust your perspective to. If you did that, you wouldn’t struggle with it.

reminds me of the tweet that’s like “dad just think of me as a swarm of bees” and the dad was like “oh I get it now”

every time i see slur discourse i think about this post

Happy Lesbian Visibility Week to ALL Lesbians!

❤️🧡🤍💗🩷

Lesbian Visibility Week includes:

Agender lesbians (me!) 🖤🩶🤍💚🤍🩶🖤

Asexual lesbians (also me!) 🖤🩶🤍💜

Trans lesbians 🩵💗🤍💗🩵

Aromantic lesbians 💚🤍🩶🖤

Nonbinary lesbians 💛🤍💜🖤

Genderfluid lesbians 🩷🤍💜🖤💙

Intersex lesbians 💛💛💜💛💛

Genderqueer lesbians 💜🤍💚

POC lesbians 🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Aroace lesbians 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

Butch lesbians ❤️🧡🤍💛🤎

Femme lesbians 💜💜🤍💗🩷

and many, many more!

This lesbian visibility week, I'd like to take a step back and bring to light one of the issues the lesbian community has. Specifically, those with gender binaries.

And yes, I do mean multiple. We all know and hate the man/woman binary, but in its wake many different gender binaries have risen out of the queer community.

The gender binary I'd like to talk about is nonman/man.

(I'd like to preface this by saying if you like this definition for yourself, that's fine! I'm talking about a certain kind of lesbian that pushes this definition onto everyone around them.)

I was there on TikTok when this definition rose to popularity, and even then I was uncomfortable with it. This obsession with men, or lack-there-of, went a bit too far when they tried to make it the central definition of lesbianism.

However, as I'd soon learn, the lesbian community is only as obsessed with men as they are because TERFs infiltrated us back in the 80s/90s. Cishet TERFs came in, saying that lesbianism was the only moral orientation for a woman to have, and worked to exclude anyone they deemed too "manly" out of lesbianism. This included all transgender and non-binary people, people of color (because they were "fighting for men's rights), bisexuals, and butches. This was known as lesbian seperatism.

The lesbian community is still healing from lesbian seperatism, and there's still people who participate in what I call "modern lesbian seperatism". Excluding butch lesbians who feel a connection to manhood (lesboys/butchboys), excluding lesbians whose orientation is as multiple and complex as their gender (bisexual lesbians), it can be a dangerous thing just trying to live online as a gender-complex lesbian.

So, as a request this week of lesbian visibility, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider multigender people more in your lesbianism. There are women who are men who are women. There are butches who are men. There are lesbians who're bisexual, and yes that's often an expression of gender-complexity. Take the time to talk to us, hear what we have to say; you'll probably learn more about your history. :)

i made some evil aromantic flags

as someone in the aro community (and i think this is also applicable to the ace community, which is why y’all are included), i think there is something to be said about people trying to find a moral explanation to their repulsion. in a some situations, it is helpful and there is a conversation to be had about it but in a lot of others, it’s just recycled purity culture, i’m going to be honest.

before you send a post about how you think it’s actually exhibitionist to kiss in public, or predatory to talk about people you want to sexually pursue with your friends, please ask yourself first if there is genuinely something wrong morally going on there, or if it’s just something that grosses you out. it’s completely okay if it’s something that grosses you out. you don’t need to make up a moral reason behind it. you can just say ‘it grosses me out’ and find a way to remove yourself from that situation, for exemple, by looking away, or asking your friends to not talk about those topics around you (if they refuse, that’s another problem entirely and you should get better friends).

it is as unhealthy for allo people to repress their romantic and/or sexual attraction than it is for us to repress our aromanticism and/or asexuality. this isn’t like an theoretical extrapolation, this is a proven phenomenon, we’ve seen it with the catholic church. i understand and empathize with the fact that it feels like all of this is forced upon us, because it is, but there is a difference between someone telling us ‘i like this’ and someone telling us ‘you’re weird/broken if you don’t like this’.

anyways, sorry for the rant, i keep seeing posts in the aro and/or ace tags that try to justify their repulsion with morality, and i don’t want to single out anyone so i thought i’d make this post. there is no issue with posting about repulsion itself, for the record, it’s the moral justification that i think is unhelpful.

you don’t need any justification for your repulsion, you can just be repulsed. that’s fine.

I am literally fucking BEGGING you all to also acknowledge the racism behind the terms "non-man" and "non-woman" and how they're used in queer definitions.

Black and Indigenous queer people have literally been talking about this since the definition was COINED but there's literally NO acknowledgement of this when pointing out why "non-men loving non-men" and "non-women loving non-women" are shitty fucking definitions to force on a whole community.

"Nonman" and "nonwoman" are terms that have been historically used to describe the degendering of black people in society. And words can obviously be used to mean different things- we don't have to stop using these terms altogether. But forcing these terms on a whole community of queer people is really fucking antiblack.

Not to mention that it blatantly degenders a lot of 2S lesbians and gays as well. It basically tells them that they can't be 2S and as a lesbian or gay at the same time, because then they would be "contradictory." I seriously hope I don't have to explain how racist it is to exclude a large portion of Two-Spirit people from your queer label because they don't fit into your neat little white gender binary.

Like these definitions aren't bad to use for yourself personally- but stop forcing them on all lesbians/gays. And if you're advocating for why these shouldn't be used as the most prominent definition, PLEASE acknowledge the racism aspect of it.

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "this is a valuable exploration of intimacy and vulnerability that we’re conditioned to recognize only in romantic relationships but that can exist platonically as well" way

this is a way better model... you'll still get transphobic & intersexist drs of course but i prefer this to male / female or even having separate questions for gender & sex.

[we can't see the full form, but i'd suggest having a "something else" option and dominant hormone question too.]

as a cis woman who's had a hysterectomy and partial oophorectomy, this would be helpful for me, too! it'd be pointless to try to diagnose me for disorders that affect organs I don't have anymore, after all.

being inclusive helps us ALL. 💖

we could probably calculate the amount of man hours wasted on testing trans women and women who have had hysterectomies or oophorectomies for pregnancy every time they're admitted to the emergency room and justify it on that basis alone.

anyways tboys we are doing our secret handshake and I am not approaching you with a preconceived expectation of transmisogyny

division is death. we stick together.

at the same time as I've felt emboldened to talk about and reflect on my own experience with transmisogyny by the conversation going on here, I've been worried we're sowing division with how much emphasis has been placed on transmisogyny coming from transmascs specifically. it's important to talk about but also I strongly feel the urge to put some love out there for our transmasc brothers. I don't want more people approaching them with trepidation out of a preconceived expectation of transmisogyny. they deserve to be seen on their own merits 💖. solidarity and community always. we stick together

NO LITTLE DYKE GIRL DONT SAY MEN DNI YOURE PERPETUATING RADFEM/TERF IDEALS OF WHAT A ''REAL'' LESBO IS LIKE!!! NO LITTLE DYKE GIRL YOURE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPAGANDA!!!!!! NO LITTLE DYKE GIRL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RESPECT FOR AROMANTICS NOW! NO MORE ASKING NICELY