As a lesbian, I find it difficult to understand attraction to men. That being said, when I see some bara-style dilfs with big soft bellies, I can't help but feel like a warrior watching a display of martial skill from a respectable rival school. I lock eyes with the master leading his students in their daily drills and give him a single nod of undying respect, and he returns the gesture. We both understand that the difference between Dilf and Milf is a single letter.

You are an ancient lich. So ancient, in fact, that your magic operates under an entirely different set of rules from the magic the party of adventurers you’re about to fight is familiar with.

You are an ancient lich. So ancient, in fact, that your magic operates under an entirely different set of rules from the magic the party of adventurers you’re about to fight is familiar with.

Prosecutor Joshua Steinglass, reading texts between former National Enquirer editor-in-chief Dylan Howard and Howard's unnamed relative:

Howard: "He's just been named President-elect."

Howard: "At least if he wins I will be pardoned for electoral fraud."

Kavanaugh: President Ford's pardon of Nixon, very controversial in the moment…. Now looked upon as one of the better decisions in presidential history I think by most people.

Go fuck yourself, Kavanaugh. You're such a piece of shit.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the Samuel Alito theory of constitutional interpretation is, “if I want it, it’s constitutional. If I don’t want it, it’s not constitutional.” Now we just have to see how many fellow “Justices” agree with his powerful “analysis.”

Live cleavage reaction

Reblog if you didn’t write My Immortal

We’re going to find the author by process of elimination.

Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"

Imagine paying Columbia-amounts of money to be taught by someone with kindergarten-level art literacy. Like, motherfucker, the wholeass point of 4’33” is to emphasize how every performance of live music is inextricably linked to the ambient sounds of the context in which it is performed!!!!!!! Paying attention to and thinking about the context of the performance is the point of the song!!!! If the point was to hear birds chirping and people walking, John Cage would have fucking recorded that instead. Insisting that art is only good when contains good things and makes you feel good things is baby-level art criticism. How the fuck is this dude a professor.

Actually I’m not done going off yet. This pisses me off so much. How can you teach the humanities and be so obstinately ignorant? Like bruh, if the chanting outside makes you feel uncomfortable and upset, maybe you should take about four and a half minutes to contemplate why you feel that way. During that time, you might consider things such as: why are there students chanting? What are they protesting? Why do they feel so strongly about this issue that they’re willing to disrupt their lives to bring attention to it? Should I also feel as strongly? Should I be protesting with them? Is my desire for silence more important than the students’ desire for justice? Why do I find the noise they’re making more upsetting than the genocide they’re protesting?

Being like “loud noise make me angy 😠” is so fundamentally incurious and baby-brained it’s honestly unbelievable

In a world of magic and dragons, everyone thought the healers needed to be protected. No offensive magic to speak of how could they protect them selfs? That’s what everyone thought. Until you proved you can actualy heal someone to death…

Good Morning America, How are Ya

Said don't you know me, I'm your native son.

Why Inkjet Paper Curls

Printed pages from inkjet printers tends to curl up over time. Researchers found that this long-term curl correlates with the migration of glycerol – one of the solvents used in inkjet ink – through the paper’s fiber layers toward the unprinted side.  (Image credit: Lunghammer - TU Graz; research credit: A. Maass and U. Hirn; via Physics World) Read the full article

IG : @emperorofmischief

@stuckonaglacierwithmacgyver OMG

@wolffyluna

introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry

her resolution was that if i meet a kid that has the same name as their sibling, then i can eat one of them. their parents won't be sad, because they have another kid with the same name right there. speaks to an uninformed but fascinating worldview

our history teacher tried a similar tack but the theoretical scenario was "the man who invented the medicine necessary to save your wife is charging more money than you can pay and won't accept credit. you're against stealing but you also don't want your wife to die. what do you do?"

our answer was not only to steal the medicine but to murder the inventor because if he's paywalling life-saving medicine, the solution that involves the lowest body count is killing him. we're ethically and morally obligated to eliminate this threat to human survival

did not go the way he thought it would

^^ This is the correct solution. Or A correct solution.

See, basic necessities (clean water, clean air, housing, healthcare, electricity and telecommunications because fuck you the world we live in REQUIRES those things, transportation) should be free. Anything over $1mil in earnings should be taxed at 90% to pay for this stuff.

The ONLY reason we don't have it is because SOME of us have allowed themselves to be convinced that EVERYONE having access to basic necessities without paying for them somehow hurts everyone else - which is a flat-out lie.

I can work, and work hard, so I do. If someone else CAN'T, for whatever reason, then they are still entitled to basic necessities - it doesn't take that away from me.

You suddenly switch bodies with your icon. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest value) how well are you coping with that change?

I can’t tell you how ready I am to be a ratite. It would solve all my problems.

Admittedly I would have an extremely different and unknown set of problems, but I could peck away at them…

I’d be fine being in the body of my cat!

The problem is the implication that she would then be inside my body. That’s terrifying.

Okay but like...my icon is my childhood hero.

And yeah, there's a good chance I'm going to die, but I'm going out in a blaze of glory, fighting for the good of all sentient beings.

And if I win...well, Freedom is the right of ALL sentient beings, so I guess I'd finally be free to sit down and rest.

OTOH, I'd be a giant fuckin robot truck - who on this planet would REALLY be able to stop me?