It’s night time somewhere

I’ve been saving this

IT’S TIME

he did THAT

It’s not easy being John.

BUT BATMAN HANGS IT UP asdjklfgh

He doesn’t disagree with the sign

this is probably the best youtube intro ever

It's downhill from here.

Last night I dreamt that Channing Tatum nervously presented me with a dress he’d knitted for me. He clenched his (big, work-roughened) hands in anxious fists while I unfolded it. 

“You don’t have to wear it,” he said, before I could say anything.

The dress was perfect. It was beautiful. It could turn into a skirt.

“You like it?” Channing Tatum said, smiling crookedly.

The dress had pockets.

#if anyone ever asks me about female fantasy and some of the ways it differs from perceived female fantasy #i am just going to cite this post

Must have reblogged this three times already but not stopping now

It had pockets

Y E A H

that student athletes meme but about starfighter pilots

Mechanic: can you hand me the wrench?

X-wing pilot: hand it to you ❔🤔❓ nothing gets handed 🖐🖐to me 😈 I grind and work for it 💯 Yoda 3:14 🙌 🙏

Red Leader: we’re sustaining heavy fire!


Wedge Antilles: the only fire 🔥 i need is the fire under these wings ✈️ lifting me up to glory 🏅for the rebellion ✊️ fight the good fight 💪

Obi Wan: use the force, Luke Luke: I AM a force 💥🔥  a force of nature inside this x-wing 🚀  gotta keep up the grind 😤  need for speed 💯🏁  red five life ✈️

Finn: okay, stay calm, stay calm

Poe: CALM? The life of an X-WING PILOT ✈️ is NEVER calm ❌ the 🏅RESISTANCE 💯 will not be intimidated 🔥 by the GRIND 💪 ✊️ black squadron is life ⭐️🚀✈️

do pigeons sometimes forget they can fly or what

actually!! apparently it takes up a lot of energy to lift off, so to pigeons, humans are just not worth the bother

this is an excellent fact. we are insignificant to them and i love it

irrefutable proof…. theyre dating

Also I have to assume that either a: Bruce invited Clark back to Wayne Manor for coffee, or b: Bruce doesn’t mind the world thinking he’s a major superhero groupie, given that he’s in public, having coffee with Superman, while wearing a Batman sweater.

Either way, he’s not being subtle. Like, at all.

🍃You know who you are 💫

(I’m Te fiti)

@charas-sins Heeey you stopped by my table in artist alley but you were out of costume! I remembered you showed me this on your phone. It looks incredible!!!

@satteredhunter

A reminder to all of the mentally ill kids seeking treatment and other people new to the psych system:

If you absolutely hate going to your therapist, you have the wrong therapist

If you feel like your therapist doesn’t understand you, has misdiagnosed you, or is focusing on the wrong things, you have the wrong therapist

If your therapist is too old to understand the things you’re going through, like cyberbullying or LGBT related issues, you have the wrong therapist

If you feel like therapy isn’t working for you, YOU HAVE THE WRONG THERAPIST!

I went through five therapists before finding mine. FIVE. Sometimes it takes a while to find someone who works for you, but you do NOT have to be stuck with a therapist you don’t enjoy seeing or you don’t feel is helping you!

I’ve been through over 13 therapists in my life- no joke.

True, all of this. I’ve had numerous therapists over the years, and the ones that have helped me the most were the ones that I actually looked forward to going to see. Even when the stuff was hard, seeing them still made me feel better afterward. 

a darkened auditorium with 264 silent people in the seats. on the stage, me, sitting on a stool, lit by a spotlight, the only light in the theatre. i hold up a photo of my cat, 10 people applaud, two or three hold up photocopies of the same photo, the rest do nothing, watching, waiting. 

I love this description of tumblr.

"When Shelley's corpse washed ashore, a friend identified it by a copy of Keats's 1820 volume in the coat pocket, which he knew Shelley had taken with him. Then, after cremation in which Shelley's heart, hardened by calcium, did not burn, this same friend snatched it from the embers and presented it to Mary Shelley, who kept it thereafter in her desk, wrapped in a copy of 'Adonais."

Here’s your morbid literary fact of the day.

jesus christ, i will never be this goth.

Mary Shelley’s father taught her to spell her name by taking her to the graveyard and having her trace the letters on her mother, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s gravestone.

NO ONE will ever be as goth.

didnt she also have sex on said grave

She lost her virginity on her mother’s grave yes

… that’s it we can all go home, peak goth was achieved before we even started.

JSTOR confirms it: http://www.jstor.org/stable/3177447

Mary Freaking Shelley is None More Goth personified.

@mama-germany Achieve maximum goth

@saarebitch

If I fail to reblog this, assume I’m stuck in my crypt, and someone needs to come help me.

OH MY GOD

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

My dick has been on fire for over an hour

I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”

He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.

She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.

So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.

She fucking CUMS

And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me

“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”

And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

Lmaooooo

This entire post was a journey tbh

GO AWF KELLY

Got a new dice case ;o

One die says ‘nipples’

Well yeah how do YOU play D&D