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[ I Am My Own Enemy ]

@xinda / xinda.tumblr.com

THIS IS A TEMPORARY THEME. THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS NOT WORKING OR INCOMPLETE AS THIS IS NOT MY THEME. IT'S JUST A PLACEHOLDER "Life Is A Dream; I Didn't Die, I Woke Up." Xinda | Adult | Female | Personal under “xinda babbles” tag | Multi-Fandom Blog |
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hayleynwong

Malted Milkshakes

Caveat to this is while I may be a storyboard artist for The Owl House, I literally have no idea where the story is going; I am not a writer! So do not read into this at all. It’s just a drawing. Just wanted to make a fanart for the show I work on, because you can work on something and simultaneously be a fan XD It’s a weird sensation, honestly. But yeah, just wanted to draw these cute characters in a vintage-y vibe. Bask in my lack of a background… bask in it. Please do not repost.

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daisyanonnl

THIS IS A COPY AND PASTED REPOST FOR THE PURPOSE OF SPREADING THE MESSAGE AS PORTER HAS NOW TURNED OFF REBLOGS ON THE ORIGINAL POST, THEREFORE MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR OTHERS REBLOG MY STATEMENT UNDERNEATH HIS POST. THIS VERSION WILL CONTAIN AN EDIT WITH ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

Hello, I am the victim in this situation. I am using an alternate account in order to protect my identity. I planned not to address this, but I feel like I need to in order to leave no room for misinterpretation and to bring myself mental peace. Trigger warning for grooming and tickling. Please read at your own discretion!!

Me and Porter had been friends for half a year. I cut ties with them soon after when I realized what was happening to me. This was the DM I received from a concerned individual within his Discord server that really solidified the gravity of the situation for me:

They then proceeded put me in contact with another concerned party after this DM. One of concerns they showed within the DM regarding the "sketch pages" is referring to these sketches that Porter made featuring both of our Welcome Home characters made in an online drawing game.

The images above showcase his adult OC Porter tickling my OC, who is a teenager. Given the age of my character and the fact that I am a teenager too, he shouldn't have made these. Regardless of if I started it or not. The responsibility lies with the adult, not the child. No adult should ever indulge in these actions alongside a child, as it's highly inappropriate. Especially since it has been proven that tickling has previously been a fetish for him. Even if it isn't anymore, that doesn't negate the inappropriate nature of his actions towards me.

Another concern raised later was regarding a "fanfiction" Porter wrote including his OC, and a caricature of me being tickled by his character. Again, the character included is supposed to represent me - a minor. I will warn in advance that the screenshots below may or may not be slightly out of order.

Think of this what you will, but this is not appropriate behavior to engage in with a child, regardless of the circumstances. Porter has not deleted this fic, which makes me highly uncomfortable to know that he is actively has this saved even after everything that he has been found guilty of. Another individual within the server voice chat advised Porter not to write this, as it would be extremely alarming, and not okay. This was said when he mentioned writing it, before he actually did. He agreed, even acknowledging the dangerous nature of doing this. And yet, he still decided to go through with it later. This, however, barely scrapes the surface of the disgusting and alarming nature of his DM's and messages in his server towards me. I will apply a trigger warning accordingly for grooming with what is about to be shown.

(His profile picture is censored because it shows artwork made by an individual who is uninvolved, and I do not wish for them to be found via this artwork and possibly harassed.)

He has stated before multiple times within voice chat that if our messages were exposed into the public, he could get into serious trouble. Despite this, he persisted. His discord admin excused his actions on account that I "consented" and was comfortable with this behavior. But the glaring problem here is that minors cannot consent.

It was in his hands to make sure he kept me safe, and he failed to do so. He knew that I am a vulnerable, neglected, touch-starved and attention-starved teenager, and that I would not question him. No matter his "intentions" with me, it is still clear to see that he groomed me. Grooming does not always need to be explicitly sexual to be considered as such. Grooming is not a black and white issue. It's a very nuanced subject and can be hard to detect by even adults. He has also compared our interactions to "sibling tickle fights".

I've personally never seen siblings tickle eachother while calling one another "cute", using pet names, and putting one another in a "lee" and "ler" category. These are behaviors that I've seen strictly in the fetishistic areas of the tickling community. I've also never seen this behavior shared between parents and their children. Even if this was "play" between siblings or parents and their kids, it wouldn't make it any less alarming. This is not simply "innocent horseplay" as he tries to say. This is something far more sinister.

I come from a very broken home. Porter made me feel special. He made me feel safe. He made me feel cared about and loved, more than any adult figure in my life has made me feel, and for this reason I grew heavily attached to him. He knew full well about my home situation and my fragile mental state, and this is why he felt content to take advantage of me. He was also aware about my emotional attachment to him. Himself, as well as his close friend circle who were also very close to me, acknowledged that he is careless in how he interacts with younger individuals. This gives even more reasons for him to stop interacting with minors altogether.

Another individual within his friend circle, who works closely with preschoolers may I add, has been defending this disgusting behavior and insisting that what happened to me wasn't grooming, and that I'm "hurting real victims" by saying this. This individual goes by Beauregardent/Museicorne/Darlingdoeling on most platforms; one being Twitter.

This message was forwarded to me by an uninvolved third party.) This absolutely shattered me. It felt as if they literally spat in my face. I am absolutely appalled and horrified that this is an opinion held by someone who works with toddlers between the ages of 3-5. It does not matter if it was "intentional" or not, what matters is that he was still complicit in acting in this way towards me. The fact that he has stated many times that his behavior could get him in trouble, is very evident that he knew what he was doing was wrong.

Beauregardent and Porter's server moderator have both stated that he committed "groomer actions" but that he's not actually a bonafide groomer. This point is obviously chocked full of nonsensical semantics, and to say this is spitting in the face of not only me, but other victims who have been in my shoes and have been traumatized. It's literally like saying: "Well, the kidnapper did kidnapper actions, but they're not a kidnapper! They had good intentions when they kidnapped that child!"

Surprise, surprise. The floor is made of floor.

The fact that Porter has turned off and hidden certain comments on this post shows me that he is not willing to face the consequences and rightful backlash from this situation. He has proved that he is only trying to save face.

This situation has traumatized me greatly and has caused me extreme emotional distress. These are the effects of grooming. The individuals who confronted me about this situation are also victims of grooming, and have compared their situations to my own to further emphasis their concerns. I have also spoken with many other victims of grooming after this situation, and all have expressed their grief and heartbreak for me. A majority of them approached me first.

This is really all I have to say for now, and if any additional information is needed I will update this post accordingly. I believe I've covered the entire basis of this situation, on my side at least.

This post will serve as a compilation of necessary evidence for others to view and make educated decisions. As well as to make my statement and my opinions, and my sheer pain with this situation be known. I don't wish to address this any further for my own mental peace and safety. This account will remain, as I do not plan on letting my pain go unheard, nor do I want Porter to have ample room to misinterpret and get away with what he did to me. I am healing. I'm taking the necessary steps to feel better after what happened. Thank you.

EDIT:::

I know I said I wouldn't address this further, but I feel it is necessary to include an extra piece of information which has been brought to my attention.

It is apparent that Porter is attempting to make a comeback even after all of this happened. This is very concerning. I'd like others, especially minors, to be aware and stay safe. If you click the notes on this post and view the accounts of individuals that liked it, you will find that some of them happen to be minors. I'm very worried for them, and frankly appalled that Porter is trying to sneak his way back onto Tumblr after everything he's been found guilty of. He also still has minors in his Discord server - one of which is being protected by an adult who stated they were only staying there to keep the minor safe in Porters presence, as the minor is not willing to leave the server.

After I contributed my statement to his original post, he switched off the reblogs. I was already well aware that he wasn't willing to take proper accountability for his actions, but this has given me even more proof of such.

This is all for now, and I may make more updates if anything vital comes to light. Love you all. Thank you for hearing out my story. Please stay safe and cautious. Especially to all of you younger individuals.

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Day 4. Free Day

It's a cool, humid October evening. Now that Cloud is old enough to hold a pair of scissors, the kids have made their own costumes this year - a wolf and an angel! Perfect, right? Tifa is taking them trick or treating before the grownups' house party. Don't eat too much candy before bed, you two!

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woodnrust

Oklahoma School for the Deaf has opened up FREE ASL COURSES for the Fall season this new school year and anybody can join. The courses close on December 31st of this year (2023) so if you've been thinking about learning ASL here is your opportunity to get professional lessons for FREE

If you're interested, here's the link: https://courses.osd.k12.ok.us/collections

This is a GOLDMINE for information because not only do you get free video lessons by professionals that you can do at your own pace, but there's also graded quizzes as well as resources to educate you on the history of Deaf culture as well as sub-communities within, with links to loads of different websites to read up on Deaf-related topics.

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The US Copyright Office is opening a public comment period around AI

American friends! The US Copyright Office (which we know exerts huuuge influence in how these things are treated elsewhere) wants to hear opinions on copyright and AI.

"The US Copyright Office is opening a public comment period around AI and copyright issues beginning August 30th as the agency figures out how to approach the subject."

We can assume that the opposing side will definitely be using all of their lobbying power towards widespread AI use, so this is a very good chance to let them know your thoughts on AI and how art and creative content of all kinds should be protected.

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pasteboard

hey netizens! i'm not sure how many people are aware, but youtube's been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can't be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you're a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard to get rid of it!

youtube.com##+js(set, yt.config_.openPopupConfig.supportedPopups.adBlockMessageViewModel, false) youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.adBlocksFound, 0) youtube.com##+js(set, ytplayer.config.args.raw_player_response.adPlacements, []) youtube.com##+js(set, Object.prototype.hasAllowedInstreamAd, true)

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3

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pigcatapult

Where do I copy-paste these to? "My filters"? "My Rules"?

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gaphic

'my filters'! if you look closely you'll notice the format is different between the two pages. the (website)(##)(additional text) format goes in filters

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reblogged

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Word Count: 266,598

The front cover of both of these is inspired by the swirling gold pattern on the back of the Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. And we have the Millennium Puzzle on the back of the cover as well as holding the chapter numbers for each chapter.

I found fonts inspired by the cards to use for titling and the block quotes at the start of each chapter.

These books were my first time working with HTV and I ended up having to make a new case for the first attempt as I proved a bit overzealous in my application of heat.

I loved the marbled mauve paper that I found for the end pages of these it fit perfectly with the color scheme I had come up with for the books and it gave me something to color match with when picking my thread for the headbands.

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roach-works

when i was getting trained as a welder the guys started playing sneaky grabass with each other and with me. i almost hit a few people while holding dangerous tools in my hand because they wouldn’t stop grabbing me from behind, then laughing that i ‘almost’ hit them, so i finally had to go to the instructor and say, look, i’ve had years and years of self defense training due the fact i’m a very small weirdo who is in legitimate danger of getting hatecrimed and at some point one of these guys is going to goose me again and im going to bury a wrench in his eye. get them to stop grabbing me, because i don’t want to get kicked out for hitting people.

the next day i ended up punching someone in the face with a doughnut in my fist because she thought i was being a big fucking buzzkill who tattled to teacher about a harmless game, and, guess what, grabbed my butt. i got icing all over her hair. she complained to teacher...who let everyone know that this was why they weren’t supposed to be playing grabass in the fucking shop.

anyway don’t fucking sneak up on twitchy little queers with hypervigilance, it fucking sucks and you’re lucky if you get a doughnut to a face instead of a hammer.

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cryptidcola

[ID: Three fake video game achievement banners. Each achievement has a number denoting the number of points the achievement rewards. The first has a heading that says "69 - MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS" and a description that says "Survived the Tumblr NSFW ban (2018-2022)". The second has a heading that says "96 - NEVERMIND" and a description that says "Put the porn away, guys." The third has a heading that says "420 - MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU... KIND OF" and a description that says "If I have to update this post one more time I swear to god--" End ID]

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