#fuck it we ball#the gods half-assed a hero’s journey for me but left me on the stove too long and now I’m a ‘lil crispy is all#I started so fresh to this adventure thing all wide-eyed and wondrous#now I have the casual flair of a 40-year-old Spider-Man using his powers to grab poptarts from the cupboard whilst sat on the couch#bear with me this hero business is exhausting okay#I’ve got a line of enemies piling up to be my arch nemesis#one is even missing an eye#I have the government and my hometown both after me#potential lovers down on one knee whilst I awkwardly scurry away after pointing at something fake in the distance to distract them#and let’s not forget the episodic events that happen so regularly that I’m convinced I’m in the tv show#oh and can’t forget the horrors#never the horrors#but hey it’s all good#my knees ache these days but the adventure continues#lord of the rings#the hobbit#lotr#the witcher#legolas#jaskier#joey batey#witcher#the amazing devil#marvel#Tony stark
