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Them Wigs Were Ugly As Fuck, Bruv.

@jacobsbadwig

Bruh, I love vampires, but I really wanted Bella to end up with Jacob. Blog in process.
L. Sideblog. Follows and replies from @farrahda5hy
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jacobsbadwig

Twilight Fandom Poll:

When you read the original series, did the movies live up to what you envisioned the characters looked like from the books?

1) Yes

2) No, not at all

3) No, I saw the movies first.

4) Not really, but some of them worked out

5) I didn’t have a feel of what the characters looked like.

6) other explanation

Results* as of March 21 2022

1. 0 votes

2. 3 Votes

3. 14 votes

4. 13 votes

5. 2 votes

6. 6 votes

*includes results where some of you were in between options. Also those who didn’t choose a specific number I did my best to honor the explanation given attached it to the appropriate option.

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Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. 
Or, send in a ⭐star⭐  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!
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One of my gripes with the plot of Twilight is Bella’s mother’s characterization. I really believe that the author sort of never had a plan for her to be involved but had to explain why Bella goes to Forks because it was important she was the new girl. It didn’t have to be the way it was. I honestly think it’s ironic that Bella became what she viewed her mother as. Call it generational trauma but I also call lack of awareness. I think Bella can often times be self righteous. That’s not the point. I think plot wise that it would have made more sense if Bella’s mom had just died and that’s why she moved to Forks with her dad. Also it would contribute to Bella’s attitudes towards death and immortality since she spends the entire series cheating death and then ultimately not dying on her own terms (even if she does become a vampire in the end)

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fuckmeyer

the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.

if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.

choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.

if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.

even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.

Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.

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LMAO @ the authoritative vampire regime traveling halfway around the world to have a confrontation with the cullens and their worldwide coalition of super-saiyan vamps only to immediately surrender & fuck back off to italy

if the volturi didn’t later end up trying to destroy everyone who showed up that day in an attempt to restore its power & prestige, i’ll eat my hat

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fuckmeyer

so you, the king of a major power structure that rules the vampire world with an iron fist, has started seeing signs of an uprising? an uprising caused by a band of vamps who directly contradict your philosophy?? oh & btw the infidels have gathered the most powerful vamps in the world??? oh & btw they spawned a demon child ???? oh & BY THE WAY they have werewolves ????? OH! AND BY THE WAY. THEY HAVE EVERY INTENT ON SACRIFICING EVERY DAMN VAMPIRE HERE IF YOU DON’T BACK THE FUCK DOWN ?????? yeah better let them go with a warning. good thinking smeyer i can see u have studied ur history good job

time for my favorite twilight crack theory to re-emerge

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Edward's gaze fixated on the woman across the room.

Bella Swan was dead.

His eyes unmoving, unblinking, while his mind raced. Bella Swan was dead, and he had killed her.

It takes two... a voice inside him said, but he ignored it, shoved it back into the darkness. He already had too many voices intruding his mind. Instead, he stared at the woman and she stared back, eyes red.

He would never see Bella's beautiful brown eyes again; after a hundred years, eternity still felt incomprehensible, smoke scaping the grasp from his shadow. Her soft eyes, like calming pools, now stained red with blood, windows to her soullesness.

She smiled.

He mimicked her, for her sake.

Both Renesmee and Charlie had eyes like the ones Bella Swan used to have. But they were like hers, not hers. Edward was tired of things like her. They were mocking, taunting. An illusion, an allusion, nothing but a reminder to her likeness, not unlike a statue... it wasn't Bella. Not Bella Swan.

He blinked, not out of need but out of habit, and she was now in front of him. She was now faster than anything. She was now not one to trip nor fall. She was now graceful and flawless, perfection incarnate like the rest of them.

She was now a Cullen.

That's what was kissing him now. That's what he'll soon be making love to - because that's all they did now. Better than talking. Better than thinking. Better than confronting reality. Bella Swan was dead and Bella Cullen had stolen her face.

Cullen ripped their clothes, both more expensive than Bella's truck had been. She didn't hold back and neither did he. He could only mourn at the loss of her warmth, the loss of her taste, the loss of her soft skin, and mourn, most of all, the scent that drew him to her.

He was at peace, or a a cruel facsimile of the concept. A purgatory, for his thoughts and his thoughts alone. The other Cullens gave them space in times like this, so Edward was left to contemplate with no one worrying, no one watching.

Bella Swan now only existed in the memories of everyone that had known her. The times only Bella and he had shared, existed in him alone. To Cullen, her interactions were shaped by a hazy cloud, nothing had been real until she opened her eyes thirsty for blood. Her human life had been nothing but the time spent in a womb before she was born as a vampire.

He didn't know her, and yet she was one of them. For eternity, and after.

Perhaps, until death, had a been a warning. Because, beyond death, only a stranger awaits.

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panlight

I'm specifically asking about Twilight-style vampires (beauty, immortality, no sleep, sparkling, painful thirst, no fangs, possible psychic powers, Volturi government, all of it) not vampires in general. That would be a whole other poll. I'm trying to see if stance on Twilight-style vampirism correlates with overall enjoyment of BD in any meaningful way.

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remember when bella was playfully like "’something I should know’? what lol, are you not a virgin?" and edward went on to confess that he murdered dozens of men. SO unserious can you imagine how quickly the vibes in that room shifted. I know she felt so fucking awkward for saying that

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One thing that always gets me about the wolf pack is how YOUNG they all are. Jacob is 15 when we meet him, he is a baby, he is barely even in high school.

Seth Clearwater was like 14 years old. 14!!

At that age I even thought myself to be too young for things like alcohol, relationships and all the things people would consider common expierences of adolecens.

I know Stephenie Meyer gives the excuse that the Cullens themselves are also all young in mind but I don't think that really works because they still have life expierences, even with an underdeveloped brain. They've had their first kiss, learned how to do their own laundry and saw much of what life has to offer.

But no one in the wolf pack got that before their life is turned around because the Cullens ultimately don't care that much how their existince affects others.

And it is so sad because suddenly these children are forced to grow up so fast (literally and figuratively) and they don't get to ever be young again.

I just want them to have more and they never will and it makes me so sad

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panlight

1 - Miserable, hates it. 5 - Neither loves nor hates it. 10 - Loves it.

When rating their happiness level, you can certainly take Breaking Dawn into account, but try NOT to just rate them at the end of Breaking Dawn, but rather, idk, take an 'average' of their happiness over time, or imagine if they will still be as happy/unhappy as they are at the end of BD in 10, 20, 100 years (if applicable) from now. Their OVERALL happiness/unhappiness, not just how they are in that one moment.

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