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Phoenix Insomnium

@aelysalthea

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blogaboutyafavbirdboys
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amiandthechaos

I'm sure the only thing that goes through Andrew's head when he hears Neil speaking French for the first time is "Oh shit. Oh fuck. He's so hot. Am I hallucinating? Is it the drugs or is Neil really speaking French?"

And then he's sober when he learns Neil speaks German. "Oh nooo. This is even hotter. Godfuckingdamnit how many other languages is this boy gonna try and kill me with?"

#andrew minyard#neil josten#aftg#the foxhole court#andreil#headcanon
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So I just finished reading this INCREDIBLE fic by @major816, ‘Ghost Of You’. It’s such a masterful take on the canon divergence from the Baltimore scene and I can’t recommend it enough.

It’s wonderfully written, addresses the very real reality of witness protection and the exhaustive lengths of court proceedings, and portrays Neil’s PTSD so, so well. Bee is an unexpected yet perfect addition, and the OCs were kind of adorable. Just an all-round wonderful read.

If you’re looking for a good fic to fall into and lose a few hours, please check it out and show this fantastic author some love!

#aftg#the foxhole court#neil josten#andrew minyard#fic rec#major816#tfc#so good#literally so good#I can’t even#my heart can’t take it#andreil#canon divergence#from the Baltimore scene
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karmilleryn
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i-did
Anonymous asked:

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS THE FACT THAT NEIL LIKES TO COVER UP. ANYTIME SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGES THAT IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!! 😭😭🖤

i-did answered:

I noticed that Neil's body positivity in Fandom is focused on him being sexy and showing skin and wearing crop top, skirts, and skinny jeans, rather than on his personal comfort. I think this comes from the newer body positive concept that one has to be sexy to feel powerful and one has to be fuckable to be worthy.

Neil is attractive, but he is no longer conventionally attractive. And he likes it that way, because with the face mutilation, although people stare at him now, he doesn't look like his father.

That being said, he still doesn't want to show more of his scars. He can't hide his face and wear mittens all the time, but he can still wear long sleeves when he wants to or even just wear baggy tee shirts and looser jeans.

The scene where Andrew bought Neil clothes for Edens, he made sure they were actually his size, but still fully covered his body and would be comfortable. They're black cargo pants with many pockets and are practical, the long sleeve shirt has rips but has fabric underneath, the boots are heavy and practical and Neil thinks about keeping them. Andrew didn't dress Neil up to objectify him at Edens, he gave Neil those clothes because Edens is an alt club and Neil learns when they get there that he definitely would've stood out more without them, and Andrew dressed him conservatively compared to the rest of the club attendees.

I personally really don't like the idea that Neil has to overcome his truama by putting it on display or prove that he's not bothered by his scars by showing them off all the time.

As someone with scars on my torso and back, the truth is? People will look at them and make comments. I've gotten a lot of comments over the years about it, anywhere from "I mean... They're kinds cool if you think about it!" To "wow your skin looks like a ballsac". I've had ex roommates ask if someone held me down and did it, just point blank. I've also had people assume how I've gotten them and I've also had people just openly ask about them, curious. Its not unusual for me to wear a tank top and notice the person isn't making eye contact with me 50% of the time because they keep accidentally looking at one of my scars instead.

And the thing is? Medically speaking my scarring is considered very mild. Sure, there is a lot of it, but its mild. Neil has severe scarring, neil asks the FBI if he even still has enough face left for the press to recognize. When I see people play down Neil's scars or try to write them off as "actually attractive and add to his features" or "interesting" it annoys me. I also see neils scars reduced a lot in art, which also I personally find offensive. People are allowed to do what they want, but as a person with scars I'm not a fan.

If people with scars want to write about him finding them sexy and showing them off, or getting all those steroid shots and creams, or not having keloiding? go ahead project how you want, it's just not for how I see Neil and not for my personal taste in body positivity.

I want Neil to have more scars than me and my friend. We were always the most scarred people we knew, him more than me, but it was still considered pretty mild from a medical perspective.

Personally, I want Neil's scars to be bad and objectively startling and "unattractive", not "interesting" and "actually make him hotter". Because Neil doesn't want his scars to make him hotter, he's just greatful he looks that much less like his dad now, and that he's still alive. Neil doesn't care about being fuckable or hot or sexy, so why would his body positivity reflect those ideas?

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aelysalthea

I couldn’t agree more. 100% behind you in your interpretation and your commentary on the interpretation of others. Sure, people are allowed to project however they’d like but is it so hard to dial down the stereotypical tropes?

One point in particular you made, about how Neil is often depicted as body positivity through flaunting his body and his scars. Yes, some people gain validity and express confidence through that approach but it’s not the only way. There seems to be a prevailing trend lately, primarily online, that if you aren’t openly demonstrative of your thoughts and opinions then they’re not as valid.

You don’t have to have external acknowledgement. Is it so hard to conceive that Neil wants to keep his body and his history to himself? Or that he just doesn’t care enough about other people to warrant drawing their attention?

#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#the foxhole court#tfc#body positivity#tw mutilation mention#tw: scars
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triquetrine

the fact that neil played on a totally normal high school exy team in millport never ceases to blow my mind because imagine. just imagine you’re an angsty 17/18 year old, probably overwhelmed with college and the future, and your competitive exy team is yet another stressor but it’s an extracurricular you know will fluff up your applications. maybe you even enjoy the game and like how intense it is at this level. there’s this weirdly small kid who’s kinda an asshole and doesn’t really talk to anyone, but he’s freaky fast and scores a lot. cool cool whatever, you get along with your other teammates so it’s no biggie. but then you find out he got recruited to an ncaa team? more specifically the infamous foxes, which only take in “troubled” players?? and then the weirdly small kid is trash talking riko moriyama (a literal national team member and “the best” striker around) on daytime television and all your buddies are going crazy. months pass and you’re watching him visibly improve on the court and you’re just kinda in awe because that was lurking behind his stony silence the whole year….wack. then he’s on the news because his dad was a GANGSTER??? and as if that wasn’t enough, he’s the foxes’ vice captain the next year, and in a few more he’s being signed to a pro team AND us court!!! who knew freaky fast asshole had it in him!!!! certainly not you!!!

I know this post is fun and all, but it also makes me sad for completely irrelevant reasons. Imagine. There’s this guy in your team and as the post said, he doesn’t talk to anyone. No one necessarily likes him and a lot of students even hate him. It is the start. Then he gets recruited to the foxes. And now, you have to watch him grow. Far away from you and the whole city, the weird guy that you didn’t even care enough to actually talk to him, has a sharp tongue and slowly turns to be a champion himself, among all of that drama that has happened to him.

And you just wish you had talked to him.

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foxsoulcourt

Thank you @aelysalthea for writing From the Bleachers, a fabulous 14k interpretation of this very situation!

Because, yes, like @triquetrine + @callherashley wonder: what if you had just talked to that Weird Kid™️?

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aelysalthea

Aw, thank you so much @foxsoulcourt 🥰 I’m so glad you liked it. I had a blast writing that one and I’m fairly sure it was inspired by a post like this one.

#neil josten#where we first meet him#from the bleachers#all for the game#aftg#aelys_althea
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I feel like I need to get something off my chest. It’s a silly thing as I know it’s just a single word description that means nothing in the greater scheme of things. But.

Neil’s hair is auburn. AUBURN.

Auburn as in THIS colour.

I see so much of the time in fanfics and fandom that he’s described as “red headed” or “ginger” and just... no. It’s explicitly stated that he’s naturally auburn.

I have nothing wrong with either of the alternative hair colours but I always found it oddly refreshing that he wasn’t red or ginger. Both of those colours are so typically “distinctive protagonist” in style because they’re less common naturally and thus more astounding in a way, but auburn? Not astounding (albeit very pretty) but also not really used in character descriptions quite so much.

As a bit of a comparison between them, this paints a pretty good picture too.

Am I being dramatic and needlessly picky? Yes. But even so, let’s let Neil keep his auburn hair. He’s special enough in other ways to not need the anime-esque trademark of “fiery hair to match his fiery personality”.

That’s my rant for the day. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

#aftg#neil josten#the foxhole court#all for the game#tfc#sorry for the rant#character description#being picky about things that no one really cares about but I’m tired and this has stuck with me for a while so bear with me
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