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Drarry Squad Secret Santa Gift Exchange

@drarryexchange / drarryexchange.tumblr.com

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arituzz

and i wonder if i ever cross your mind (for me it happens all the time)

-DRARRY-

for @thespicygay for the @drarryexchange. I hope you like this, happy new year!!

All the love for my amazing beta @velvetnoodle

Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley/Pansy Parkinson
Summary: Harry knows his way to happiness is going to be nothing short of difficult. He needs to stop drinking. Go to therapy. Find a job. What he does not calculate is falling in love with Draco Malfoy in the process. 
OR Five times Harry and Draco meet at Pansy’s annual party and one time they don’t. (Plus one time they go together.)
Word count: 5.7k
Rating: T
Tags:  enemies to friends to lovers, alcohol, depression, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, pining, 5 + 1 things

Title from the song “Need You Now,” by Lady Antebellum

[December 2000]

Harry knows it has to stop.

Ginny is staring accusingly at him from the apartment door, her arms crossed over her chest and a disgruntled frown on her face. “Harry James Potter.”

Full name. So it’s that bad this time.

Harry barely remembers last night, but, judging from the empty bottle of firewhisky discarded beside him, he guesses it wasn’t much different from the other nights since the war ended: Killing the time testing how much alcohol he can handle before passing out on the sofa. Or the floor, like this time. If he’s being honest with himself, Harry barely remembers anything from the past few months.

“I know, Gin,” Harry tells her, sitting up. His head is burning. “I bloody know, trust me.”

“Take this,” Ginny says, offering him a glass of what looks like a mixture of every fizzy drink flavour plus vomit.

“Erm… What is it?” asks Harry.

“Hangover potion.”

“I think I’ll pass,” he says, deciding it’s not worth it. “I’m used to feeling like shit.”

“Not an option,” says Ginny. “Today is the party and I want you presentable.” She pauses, looking at Harry from top to bottom. “Or the closest we can manage. So, here.” Ginny offers Harry the revolting potion again, this time shoving it to his face. “Drink.”

Harry reluctantly takes the glass and makes the mistake to smell the content. It takes him a lot of effort not to gag. “What party?” he asks, and discards the drink on the nearest table.

The party,” Ginny says. “Pansy’s annual party. She’s going to make our thing official. I told you like a month ago.”

Ugh. Harry really isn’t in the mood for a party. He isn’t in the mood for anything but lying around and drinking himself into oblivion. “I’m sorry, Ginny, I…”

Ginny cuts him off. “Save it,” she says. “I let you choose. Either you come to the party…”  She makes a dramatic pause, for effect. “Or I’ll make Pansy wake you up for the rest of your life.”

“Cruel,” Harry complains. The alternative sounds about as good as dying. Somehow, he will have to get to the party.

“You know I love you,” Ginny says, kissing him on the cheek. “Don’t forget to drink your potion.”

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Music is the Key to my Soul ( Drarry Secret Santa Gift 2)

Music is the Key to my Soul

I’m fine, I have to be. That’s what ran through Draco’s head every morning, and every second of every day. It didn’t matter what happened, he was fine.  It was with that mentality that he went to his last class of the day. It wasn’t that Draco didn’t like his classes or his school. It was just that he hated the amount of people and boredom that filled his ‘luxurious’ private boarding school. If it were up to Draco, he would go to a normal public high school taught by normal teachers and have normal grades with normal classes, not mention have normal friends who did normal things. But nothing in Draco’s life was ever decided by him so he was used to it. Instead, he went to a very prestigious school with very sophisticated teachers, and wealthy snobs for classmates, with the weirdest, most advanced classes on the face of the earth, topping it all off with the best grades. Yes, Draco was the best student to ever grace the halls of The Mattiazzi Academy of the Elite Gifted and Talented, or so his teachers said.  Because sure Draco had perfect grades, and sure he was in almost every club offered, and sure all of his classes were advanced, and yeah he volunteered most of his time, and he became a model for everyone else, and of course, he did all of these wonderful things. But that didn’t mean he liked it, or even notice it until that fateful competition.

It was in the middle of January 28th when the school was notified of the competition and mere hours later that Draco was taking his free period to practice. It wasn’t that he wanted to exactly, it was just that he had to, knowing that his parents would find out soon. It would make them satisfied to know that he could do things on his own. For his first piece, he was going to play Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 15 in b-flat major obviously on the piano, for his second piece he would play the Bartók Viola Concerto on his viola, and he still had to decide on his third piece. The only reason Draco knew what he was going to do, was because he wasn’t an indecisive person, unlike his best friend Blaise Zabini. Blaise would also be performing along with their other friends Pansy, Theodore, Daphne, and Astoria. Only about 5 or 6 other classmates of theirs would be performing though.

“I am extremely sorry Blaise, but please pass on the word. I will not be able to hang out until this competition ends. I really am truly sorry. I just- my parents will be really mad if I stop practicing. Don’t roll your eyes at me, don’t you remember what happened last time I lost a competition? Exactly,” Draco started to his best friend apologetically. It wasn’t his fault that his parents had such high expectations. Draco truly did hate blowing off his friends like this. Blaise just rolled his eyes, huffed quietly and walked away, his tailored uniform sweeping behind him. Leaving Draco alone in the dull, grey hall.

Frowning heavily, Draco walked back to his dorm in silence. Draco’s dorm was different than all of the rest. It had a king sized bed against the back wall that was covered in forest green bedding that had really pretty designs in a pretty pastel purple. His walls were the same purple color with tons of different band posters covering them. Next, to his bed, he had a white wooden nightstand. In the far left corner of the room stood his white desk with his dark brown closet next to it. His desk was covered in papers, books, and makeup. While his closet was full of very expensive, custom-made, clothes and his electric guitar. And lastly in the far right corner was his bookshelf and waste basket. Setting his school bag down, Draco sat on his bed and pulled out his phone, flipping to his camera. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out four items, a lip ring, and an eyebrow ring, and two earrings.  He carefully put them in and grabbed his electric guitar. Setting it up, he softly strummed a couple chords before he had an epiphany, he suddenly knew what he was going to do for his third performance.

However, what Draco didn’t know was that a lonely public schoolboy by the name of Harry Potter would change his world upside down and help him do the things he wanted to. Little did he know that he would finally be able to free himself from the negativity and become the happy carefree person he wanted to be.

Finally, after months and months of waiting, and practicing, and getting better, as well as lying, scheming, and doing all sorts of other devious, no good things, Draco was ready for the competition. The competition was also ready for him, or so the judges thought. It was after the first round that Draco and Harry met. It started out with Harry calling 5 SOS, one of Draco’s favorite bands, trash. Then it escalated into a heated debate about the different types of music genres and bands. You see they both had very different tastes in music. Harry preferred pop, country, rap, hip=hop, R&B, and classical, whereas Draco preferred anything punk, rock, metal, indies, contemporary, jazz, and blues. The only thing they had in common was Broadway musicals. But even then they fought over which musical they thought was the best.

This debate, however, caused them both to do pretty poorly in the second round. Draco had made a whopping 3 mistakes, and Harry made 6. Blaming each other, they got into another argument. Which led to Draco’s parents being called out to ease the tension. And that did nothing but fuel it even more. In the end, Draco left, muttering about preparing for the third round. Leaving his outfit in a sports bag, Draco snuck out of the changing room and into the announcer’s box. Silently, and quickly, he changed the name of his performance and left.  He then set up the different lights he needed, all without being caught. Waiting until there were only two people in front of him, Draco finally changed into his last outfit, and put his makeup on, whispering to the stage crew to dim the lights right before he went out.

He went out in a black leather leotard with silver pointe shoes, his black leather jacket, and his electric guitar. He basically looked like an emo ballerina. He started his song with a strong riff and continued on letting the music capture his emotion. He didn’t even think once about where his feet went, they just did. He looked so graceful yet so hardcore the judges were astounded. Never had they seen such kind of talent before.  But as his song ended it became more of a classical tune, soft, and sweet, before picking up again, only to end. And for that performance, and for the first time in his life, Draco received a standing ovation.

But when he exited the stage he was met with the sight of two angry faces, his mom, and dad. But before he could get a word in his dad opened his mouth, “ Young man, I am so disgusted with you! How dare you embarrass me out there in front of a crowd in a public place for that matter!?! You are a no good, useless little brat who doesn’t know when to stop! I paid all of this money for you, I give you food and a house. I gave you the clothes on your back, I treated you as my son, like I should, and this is how you repay me? By going out there, dressed like a fag, and playing that garbage? Just wait until you get home, you’ll wish you were never born!” This honestly didn’t phase Draco, not one bit as he was used to it. But it was very concerning to Harry, who had heard the yelling and had come to investigate. Just as he was about to leave, Draco spoke up.

“You don’t think I already wish I wasn’t born? You don’t think that I know that the only reason I’m here is because of you? Well, guess what? REality check, I already knew that. I also already knew how much of a screw up I am! You ingrained that into me, literally. And about when we get home, what exactly are you going to do to me old man? I’ve seen it all, so there isn’t anything new that you can do. Besides, if you kill me you’ll be doing me a favor since I’d rather be dead than here with you. Also, what exactly are you going to do, put me in the hospital again? Also, don’t you ever dare use that vile word around me again. I am gay and proud. There’s nothing you can do about it, nor is there anything wrong with it. I am a human as well, and if you can’t see that then you are blind, and don’t deserve to be my father!” By the end, Draco had tears streaming down his face, which prevented him from noticing the hand that came to strike him with a mighty blow. Thankfully, Harry got there just in time, saving Draco from a terrible slap. Growling slightly, the Malfoy patriarch demanded that the teen remove his and go run along. Harry, being the stubborn person he is obviously refused.

This led to him getting into a fight with the elder Malfoy male.  It didn’t go on long before the stage crew called for places for the awards. Thanking Harry, and quickly resolving the tension and hate between the two, Draco fixed himself up and got ready for the announcements.  Happily, Draco wound up in first place with Harry as number two. And it was only after this that the two boys became friends, and exchanging numbers.

Months later, and the boys were dating since they lived across town from each other. Both of their parents’ disliked their relationship, however, there was nothing they could do about it. The two boys were madly in love, and they had matching tattoos, as well as matching necklaces to prove it. Draco had a key that said, ‘Music is…’ while Harry had a heart that said, ‘the key to my soul.’

Again this is for @necocoxeiji

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A Million Different Things ( My Drarry Secret Santa Gift)
A Million Different Things:
End of May or early June, there were two men who seemed to be polar opposites. Or so they thought, what they didn’t know was that they were alike in more ways than one. On one side of Wizarding London a man by the name of Draco Malfoy was in his house with his parents celebrating the end of the war, and the rebuilding of Hogwarts. On the other side was Harry Potter, sitting in a bar with his friends, Ron and Hermione, also celebrating. Both men acted that they were happy, but they couldn’t escape the huge black hole of darkness in their hearts. Both were falling deeper and deeper and neither could stop.It wasn’t until months later when they stumbled upon each other in the weirdest of situations did they find the solutions they were looking for. It started like this.
    “Hermione, Ron leave me alone. I’m fine. I know how to go supply shopping, I’m not a first year!” Harry said rolling his eyes slightly, and pushing his chair in. He grabbed his coat and apparated out into Diagon Alley.  When he got there the number of external stimuli hit him harshly. The noise was loud, there were a hundred different people to be seen, and thousands of more foods to be eaten and smells to be investigated. But Harry ignored all of these enticing things and headed right to Flourish and Blott’s, the best books shop and supply store ever known to Wizarding kind, at least that’s what Hermione told him.  It was only after Harry had bought all of his books, parchment, quills, and other supplies that he realized he forgot a wand. And it was only halfway back to his flat that he realized it.  He kept going on his journey home, not even stopping since he vowed to himself that he’d do it at a later date.
   It was on this later date that his life changed forever. It was after he came out of Ollivander’s that he bumped into Draco. It was a pure accident as Draco was oddly enough listening to music on his iPod, and Harry was, being the clumsy thing he is, not paying attention. This caused the two men walk directly into each other.  In a flash Draco was up, picking Harry’s wand up and holding out his and muttering swift and jumbled apologies. With a slight smile, Harry accepted the hand and returned the iPod. “It’s okay Draco. I’m fine, honestly, it’s not the end of the world for knocking down the Chosen One,” Harry teased lightly. Which only caused Draco to raise a perfect white eyebrow, and smirk slightly. With one last apology and another smirk, Draco spun on his heel, in a manner that would make both his father, and Snape proud, and left leaving Harry standing there with his mouth open, like an idiot.
    But before he could get too far he turned back and called out, “Take a picture it lasts longer, Potter. Oh, and honestly, close your mouth before you catch flies.” Which desperately made Harry wish he could have gotten over those feelings from his original Hogwarts days. But sadly, life never worked in Harry’s favor.  Which is why he felt himself falling slowly in love with Draco all over again during the earlier months of the school year as he listened to Hermione complain about how he was in all of her advanced classes, and Ron complain about how the Slytherin Quidditch team was probably going to be better than ever.
    But none of that mattered until Harry found himself in the Hospital Wing a day before the start of Winter Break due to a broken arm, a fractured wrist, and a sprained ankle, all because of Quidditch Practice. While he was sitting there resting, the doors flew open and in rushed a couple teachers carrying a pale, limp body. Craning his neck to get a better view, Harry quickly realized that it was Draco. Harry had never seen Draco look so pale and sickly. Draco was as thin as a stick and was extremely gaunt.  Harry had never felt so disgusted in his life because surely that wasn’t the same boy that he had bumped into about 4 months ago. But sadly it was.
    Over and over he heard the same words being repeated, “Malnutrition… anorexic… depressed… could die…professional help…mentally unstable…” And it was those last three phrases that really caught Harry’s attention because why would Draco, his sweet, adorable, yet cunning and fierce Draco need professional help? Why would his strong, brave Draco be mentally unstable? How could his carefree, attention loving, smirk wearing, prick of a Draco be so close to death? It just didn’t make sense to Harry. It took him a couple of days of repeating these questions in his head that he realized two things. One that Draco never was, and probably never will be his. And two that it was probably because of the same reason he felt as if he were on the edge of death, PTSD. Most of the students in that 8th year were diagnosed with multiple disorders, the most common being PTSD.
    After all of the teachers left and Madam Pomfrey went back into her office Harry slid out of bed and walked over to Draco’s bedside and began talking to him, “Hey Draco, I know that you are sleeping and probably can’t hear me but I would like to say this anyway. You are an amazing, wonderful, talented, bright young man, that everyone should have the pleasure of knowing and meeting. I know that we were never on the best of terms, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t notice things. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t notice that you tended to tap your fingers on every surface attainable or that your eyes would always flicker between blue and grey depending on your mood. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t notice that you bit your lip whenever you got frustrated, or that you only ever used that one table in the back of the library. Or that you are one of the biggest nerds in all of Europe, and that you love getting your hands on any type of new information, or that you have a pair of black thick framed pair of glasses.  I’ve also noticed that you knew most of the Slytherins in our year before getting to Hogwarts. I’ve also noticed that despite liking green apples, you despise almost every other type of apple.  But then again, it became a hobby, no an obsession, watching you. You were always so mesmerizing, so captivating that once someone laid their eyes on you, it was torture to look away. And I’m usually not good with words but I think this came out okay. Well, what I’m really trying to say is that you have so much going for you right now and you have so many people in this world that care about you that you shouldn’t be in this rut you are in right now. Oh, did I forget to mention that I noticed how down you were as well? Well if I did, I said it now. But in those many people, I stand as well. This may come as a shocker, but I love you. With all my heart, and it might not be believable but it is the truth, and I’m sorry if you don’t feel that way.”
    And with that Harry started walking away, shaking his head at how ridiculous he probably sounded. Until he heard a faint voice speak up, “You know I never took you as the type of person to confess and then leave the other person hanging Potter. Don’t make this a habit now, or we’ll never be able to be in a relationship. No…  don’t look at me like that, of course, I return the feelings. Why wouldn’t I? Actually no, don’t answer that. Also, I never knew you could be so eloquent, Potter. Is that how you managed to pass all of your classes, through your words?” Which caused Harry to laugh at the end because only Draco could be sarcastic in that situation. However, this led to them talking all night. And at the end of their entire conversation, Harry felt like he could create an entire autobiography about Draco, almost.
   It was almost visiting hours when Harry asked a final question, “Hey Draco, I know this is weird and kinda sudden, but would you like to go on a date with me? I mean after we both get out of here and like to the next Hogsmeade trip or whatever. You don’t have to say yes.” Harry tended to ramble when he was nervous, but when he glanced up at Draco, he noticed the ginormous grin on the other boy’s face.
   “Of course I would Harry!! After all of the talking we just did, I would be a fool not to accept besides, I really like you. I do.  And no matter what anybody says I will always stick by your side because my mother once told me to follow my heart. And besides, you never know what someone means since words can mean a million different things.”
This is for@necocoxeiji.
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potter-art

Written for my giftee @sailorslash for the 2017 Secret Santa event by @drarryexchange !

Title: The Mystery Thief

Pairing: Draco Malfoy / Harry Potter

Words: 17.5K

Summary:

Inbetween having to figure out a Mystery Thief, dealing with an old lady who’s cat obsession could rival that of Mrs. Figg, and having to work together with his former arch-nemesis as his Auror partner, Harry Potter just can’t seem to catch a break.
And when had Malfoy even grown his hair out?!

I hope you enjoy it, and Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays!

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Remember, you have until the end of today (December 26) to make a post on your Tumblr blog with your gifts. If you are not able to post your gift by deadline, please let us know in email.

Merry Christmas!

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accio-reyn

Written for @leiorossi thanks to the @drarryexchange Secret Santa Exchange!

I’m a TOTAL sucker for crossover AUs, so even though I knew there was no way I would be able to finish this within the time limit, I went with it anyways. Also, that one line from the Christmas song about telling ghost stories this time of year always struck me as odd…and here I was presented with an opportunity to do just that. 

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Title: His Happiest Christmas

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Word Count: 6.5k

Rating: NC17

Summary: Harry would’ve never thought that spending Christmas with Draco Malfoy, doing nothing at all in particular, could bring him as much happiness as it does.

I wrote for the @drarryexchange and wrote this fic for my giftee @jily-died-36-years-ago

Hope it’s to your liking. ❤️

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daisymondays

Drarry Fic: Expecting the Unexpected

Title: Expecting the Unexpected (3.5K)

Summary: 

A list of things Draco doesn’t expect at Pansy’s Annual Christmas Party: 1. Potter to be invited 2. Potter to be pleasant 3. Potter to be interested in Draco.

A list of things that end up happening at Pany’s Annual Christmas Party: 1. All of the above

Tags: 

So I decided to take part in the @drarryexchange this year and my gift is for @harypottur !! And I really hope you like it <3

Also thankyou to @magpiefngrl for doing a fab beta job

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rapsbaer

Happy Holidays!! Have this cute little drarry drawing I did for @andistone as part of the @drarryexchange this Christmas 🎄 

I don’t really have much to say but this is technically the first time I actually properly finished a drarry drawing ahaha, I do hope that you’re gonna like this and have some lovely holidays!

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Suposed to be babysitting, not falling for you all over again

So @harryanddracoarehusbands, I’m your @drarryexchange santa. This is like my 3rd Harry Potter fanfiction, the second one I really wanted to finish, so I really hope this one is up to par and I hope you like it. Merry Christmas

Draco didn’t know what he was doing here. After his mother divorced his father – finally in his opinion, he was glad to be free of that man – she re-established connections with her other sister, the aunt Draco never knew. He barely knew his cousins, Sirius and Tonks before they died but he did know Tonks’ husband. He had been a teacher at his school and as much as he complained about it, Remus was an extremely good teacher. He knew that his aunt had lost a lot, her husband, daughter and son-in-law and was only left with her grandson. He didn’t realise that his mother had offered him up as a babysitter whenever she needed.

Draco wasn’t good with babies, toddlers he could deal with but babies? What was his mother thinking?

In attempts to keep her spirits up, his mother proposed a weekend trip down to the Black family lake house.

“It was your favourite place to be. You used to beg mother and father to let us go there during holidays. And I don’t seem to remember any bad memories lingering there.” She said, pretty much convincing her sister to go.

“I can’t believe your making me do this. I have no experience with babies!” Draco complained, opening the passenger side door and going around to the boot of the car to drag out his suitcase and bag.

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This year I participated inn the @drarryexchange and it was wonderful.

My giftee was the lovely @accio-reyn.

Happy Holidays, everyone!!!

Summary:

Due to Sirius’ quick thinking, he is not imprisoned and raises Harry away from the British wizarding world. The Quidditch World Cup seems like the perfect opportunity to show Harry his parents’ country, but Harry’s genes have a different idea.

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@ultraleahbaby; Happy Drarrymas!  Have 4.5k of soulmate!au, hope you enjoy!   You can’t just waive a trope like soulmate tattoos under my nose and expect me to leave it alone!

Major kudos to the mods over at @drarryexchange for making this all work.

***

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: HP: EWE, Lucius Malfoy’s A+ Parenting, Implied (albeit canon-typical) child abuse, mutual drunken handjobs in a filthy loo, So many flashbacks Summary:

[Soulmate AU] In which Harry and Draco (unsurprisingly) fail to notice the obvious until it slaps them in the face.

Source: t.umblr.com
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Life Debt

Merry Christmas @rmh8402!! I was so excited when I found out it was you I’d got your prompt for the @drarryexchange Secret Santa! It turned out a lot more angsty than I was expecting, I hope you like it…

You can find the whole story already on AO3

“Thank you for taking the time to meet me, Mr Potter,” said Mrs Malfoy, her hands folded in her lap. She nodded thanks to the house elf as she poured the tea into delicate china cups. Harry felt clumsy just being in the posh tea room. He’d seen it before, set back a little way from Diagon Alley with a pretty courtyard giving the illusion of somewhere more provincial, but he’d never considered going in there.

“I still don’t know why you want to talk to me, if I’m honest, Mrs Malfoy.” He held his own cup gingerly in both hands. He just knew he was going to drop the damn thing.

“Narcissa, please,” she said, sipping her tea. “I’ll get right to the point. I assume you have been keeping abreast of wizarding news?”

Harry raised an eyebrow and refrained from mentioning that she wasn’t exactly at any point, yet, and indeed, he still felt like he was being led in little Malfoy circles. “Yes?”

“Then you will understand that the Malfoy name has become rather…unpopular of late.”

He congratulated himself for not bursting out laughing in her face. “I have noticed.” He wondered what she was going to ask him to do. Give an interview extolling the virtues of Malfoys in general? Remind everyone that both she and Draco had saved his life, like he had at the trials? Not that it had done much good. Draco still had to go to Azkhaban for six months.

She nodded. “It is for this reason that I’ve come to ask you to take Draco to the Yule Ball.”

He was wrong. He wasn’t going to drop the cup. He snapped it in his fist during a coughing fit, after spitting tea through his nose.

After the house elves had cleared up, vanished the shattered shards of porcelain, mended the skin on his hand and replaced everything, all with the minimum of long-suffering looks, Harry turned to Narcissa again. “I’m sorry. For a moment there it sounded like you wanted me to date your son.”

She raised her eyebrows ever so slightly at him. “I don’t see why that’s so surprising, Mr Potter. The Malfoy name needs dragging out of the gutter, you are the most well loved character in the wizarding world, for Draco to accompany you to the Yule Ball seems to me a surefire way to raise our standing in the community. Particularly in light of…recent exposés in the press.”

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. The pictures of Malfoy snogging some random bloke in a popular wizarding nightclub had been plastered all over the Daily Prophet for weeks. Harry hadn’t known what to think. On the one hand it had meant Rita bloody Skeeter had stopped yapping about him being a disappointment and failing auror preliminary training for, oh, at least a day. On the other hand, seeing Malfoy like that…well, he hadn’t been able to look away from the photograph. He cleared his throat and pushed the insidious thought to the back of his mind. “How do you even know I’m queer?”

“I didn’t, until now,” she smiled, and ooh, there was that Malfoy smugness. Harry narrowed his eyes at her until she relented. “Very well. I had reason to believe you would be bisexual. The son of one of my very great friends is seeing your ex girlfriend. Ginevra and I have become rather well acquainted over the last six months.”

Harry rolled his eyes. Bloody Ginny. Zabini had turned her into a proper honorary Slytherin, especially if she was making friends with Narcissa Malfoy and apparently telling all his secrets. Just because he’d got drunk one Sunday at the Burrow and might have blurted out that he wasn’t sure which one of the pair was more fuckable. Ginny, thankfully, had found it hilarious. Molly Weasley, not so much. She’d been having trouble enough coping with the fact that her only daughter was dating a Slytherin, Harry commenting on his shaggability was enough for her to threaten to wash his mouth out with soap.

George had been delighted with the new teasing material, though, and to see him act a little like himself again made Molly almost grateful for Harry’s idiocy. In the end.

“Malfoy’ll never agree to it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Draco will understand the political expediency of a match like this. He was prepared to marry Astoria Greengrass until the family pulled out following the media storm. It seems Draco’s six months in Azkhaban is something they’re prepared to work with, but him being gay is not.” She muttered the last sentence into her teacup, and Harry cocked his head on one side. There’s the Narcissa he knew, he thought, the one who lied to the greatest known Legilimens of the century for the sake of her child.

“So you want me to take Malfoy to the ball to…what, shove their face in it?”

“Don’t be uncouth, dear,” she said, pursing her lips. “Of course not. I wish to improve his prospects so he may attract a better match.”

“You’re still going to marry him off to a good pureblood witch after this?”

She didn’t roll her eyes, she was way too posh for that, but oh, Harry could tell she wanted to. “No, Mr Potter, I wish to marry him off to a good pureblood wizard.”

He felt no compunction to hold his eyeballs still. “Oh, so anatomy doesn’t matter, as long as they’re not a muggleborn, is that it?” He snorted. “I should have realised you lot would never change.” Suddenly thoroughly sick of the conversation, he stood up. “I need to get back to work.”

“Mr Potter, I hereby invoke my Life Debt.”

He spun round in place and stared at her. She continued looking straight ahead and blew the steam off her tea before taking a delicate sip. “You’re going to waste a Life Debt on one date?”

“No, I plan to spend my Life Debt on a three month relationship with a high ranking wizard, one which will improve my son’s quality of life for a much longer timescale. I consider it a small price to pay.”

“Three months!”

“Oh, do sit down, you are attracting quite the audience. Yes, three months. That seems like a satisfactory length of time to prove to any potential suitors that my son is capable of conducting a medium term relationship.”

Harry sat and glared at her. “One month,” he said.

She shook her head. “I don’t think you entirely grasp the concept of a Life Debt, Mr Potter. I set the terms, it is not a bargain.”

Harry buried his face in his hands and groaned.

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