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systlin

I’M DYING

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tomyfancy

Day 3 of 5

“Dear Citizen,

In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.

Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.

Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.

You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.

I love you,

Cards Against Humanity”

I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor.

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

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solluxisms

I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.

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kaijuno

HR: if they work 40 hours a week u have to give them benefits

Big company: hmm okay. They shall work 39

HR: if they work 8 hours u have to give them a half hour lunch and intermittent breaks 

company: 7 hours and 50 minutes, it is 

the law: if theyre employees you have to pay for benefits

company: lets staff through a temp service and wait so long to hire them in they quit out of frustration

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lolotehe

the law: You must pay them this and no less.

company: I shall pay them that and no more.

The law: you have to pay your employees

Company: then we’ll replace them all with interns

The law: you gotta increase wages

Company: we’ll cut hours

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paramud

the law: you have to give raises

company: mayhaps they would enjoy an extra five cents

the law: employees have rights

company: around here we call them “independent contractors”

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itsthemissa

I swear EVERY SINGLE ONE of my employers has been at LEAST two of these at once.

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warmhappycat

Me, banging pots and pans together: UNIONIZE

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catchymemes

Details From Disney Movies

In The Lion King, unlike the other lions, Scar’s claws are always displayed throughout the movie.

In The Little Mermaid (1998) when King Triton is introduced, you can see Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Kermit the Frog in the crowd, underwater.

In Cars, the flies are actually tiny cars with wings.

In Hercules (1997) the Fates tell Hades all the planets will align but only show 6 planets aligning. These are the 5 planets plus Earth that the ancient Greeks were aware of and could see with the naked eye.

In Zootopia, while Officer Judy Hopps is ticketing cars around the city, she never crosses the street illegally. She always uses a crosswalk and looks both ways before crossing.

In monsters inc, sully’s chair has a hole in it to accommodate his tail.

In The Brave Little Toaster, all of the walls in the cottage are cleaned only as high as Blanky can reach.

In Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, during the food storm the president’s of Mount Rushmore get pied in the face but Abe gets hit in the back just like his assassination.

In Cars the truck stop advertises “convertible waitresses” i.e., topless.

In Finding Nemo, Bruce the shark starts crying when Marlin starts talking about Nemo, saying “I never knew my father”. Male sharks mate with the female then leave, so baby sharks never actually meet their father.

The Magic Carpet from Aladdin makes an appearance in Moana.

In UP, there are craft supplies on the table by Ellie’s hospital bed when she gives the Adventure Book to Carl.

The hold up scene in the Incredibles is actually an homage to a similar scene from Die Hard with a Vengeance, which also starred Samuel L. Jackson.

In Toy Story 3 (2010) Buzz Lightyear’s batteries are exposed showing the Buy n Large brand, the same company responsible for making WALL·E.

In Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego’s typewriter resembles a skull and his office a coffin.

In Monsters, Inc. (2001), there are multiple sizes of coffee cup for each of the different sized monsters.

In Toy Story 2 (1999), as the restorationist is going through his equipment, he opens a drawer filled with chess pieces. This is a reference to the Pixar short “Geri’s Game” where a similar looking man plays a game of chess against himself.

In Inside Out (2015) while going through Imagination Land a game box can be seen in the background with Nemo on it called Find Me.

In Cars, you can spot Sully and Mike in cars form!

At the end of Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego is a little bit fatter. This is especially poignant since he states, “I don’t like food, I love it… if I don’t love it I don’t swallow.”

In Coco we can see The Incredibles poster.

Insuricare, the company that offers “car life insurance” to the cars in Cars 2, is the same company Bob Parr works for in The Incredibles.

In Inside Out (2015) two of the memory orbs on the shelves contain scenes from Up (2009). One features Carl & Ellie’s wedding, while the other shows their house.

In Toy Story Woody is trapped in a crate which is stuck under a ‘Binford’ tool-box. Binford is the fictional tool company in the TV show Home Improvement which starred Tim Allen, the voice of Buzz Lightyear.

In The Incredibles, in Bob Parr’s home office, there’s a photo from a fishing trip where it appears he caught Bruce from Finding Nemo.

In Cars 2 (2011) while in a pub in London there is a tapestry on the wall that is the DunBroch family tapestry from Brave (2012), except they are portrayed as cars.

In “Ratatouille” (2007), Linguini has to hide Remy before his second day of work. He offers to hide him in his pants, revealing his briefs covered in The Incredibles logo.

After the plane is blown up in The Incredible, Helen (Elastigirl) knows the plane debris is going to fall on them due to seeing the reflection in the water.

THIS

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teathattast

Throckmorton

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tredlocity

Your cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

Apparently this is a running gag in math textbooks

Oh, no, my friend, @aceyuurikatsuki . It’s not just that. It is so much more. Settle down and let your friendly neighborhood x-ray tech explain you a thing.

Throckmorton’s Sign, otherwise known as Throckmorton’s Principle, does in fact have to do with dicks. Because it is fairly normal for a dick to show up on a hip or pelvis x-ray. But the thing about Throckmorton’s Sign is, it’s not just that the dick is visible. It is a legitimate diagnostic tool.

Let me explain: let’s say a person equipped with a penis is in a car accident and has right leg and right side hip/pelvic pain. Their doctor will order x-rays. Unfortunately, sometimes fractures are so small that they can be missed, or, because the patient is in such bad shape and the images obtained aren’t the best quality, the radiologist can’t be sure for one reason or another if what they’re seeing is actually a fracture.

So what do they do? They look for the dick.

You heard me correctly. The dick.

Throckmorton’s Sign is when “the penis points to the area of pain.” So if the above-mentioned AMAB patient’s xray aren’t displaying a clear, obvious fracture, but their dick is pointing to the right side, 9 times out of 10, the injury or fracture is on the right hip or leg area, so then the radiologist will focus on that side while reading.

Now I know what my non-radiology followers are thinking. “Ace, this sounds like bullshit. This can’t be true. You’re lying through your teeth.” But I swear to you, it is 100% accurate. I have seen a positive Throckmorton’s Sign multiple times with my own eyes over the course of the past 7 years. Ask any x-ray tech, and they will probably agree with me.

Your dick is good for at least one thing, and that thing is helping a radiologist diagnose your upper femur, hip, or pelvic fracture.

This had been a PSA.

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photochoco

Jackpot

This is getting kind of ridiculous.

There are two five leaves in there somewhere 

I lost count

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humunanunga

This is the lucky clover bouquet. Reblog for seven days of good luck!

Y’all laugh but I actually end up doing pretty well once I go to work

fuck it, lets luck this shit up.

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snh-snh-snh

I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.

Then I spend time with teenagers.

And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.

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