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uwu

@pachix / pachix.tumblr.com

hello there, wanna talk? 20+
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husborth

as someone who got 2 concussions this year and inhaled toxic substances at the workplace i can confidently inform you all that all characters in the star wars prequels are absolved of stupidity. they're all dumb as a box of rocks but its not their fault that no one made them wear helmets in wartime. the introduction of SPOSHA (space OSHA) would reduce incidences of darth vader creation by at least one i just know it

"anakin shouldn't have done that" he was huffing space gasoline at age 7 literally what did you expect. "obi-wan shouldn't have done that" he literally goes through a window face first in episode 2. "padme shouldn't have done that" she's had a career since she was 10

OVER 20? i thought that shit was at 14 god's honest truth. which is bad enough but WORSE? holy shit. you could fucking fly a jet plane through the holes in his brain, legend has it if you get a brain scan on that man the scarring on his frontal lobe spells out 'HELP.' fucking 20+? that live fast die young ass motherfucker. born with a job, broke both legs by 6, death NASCAR career by 9, logged his first kill at 11, married at 19, 20+ workplace electrocutions by 22. installs his first authoritarian government by 22. overachieving but in all the wrong fields only. i mean 20+? that man hasn't walked in a straight line in years. holy fuck man. 20+? yeeeeeeeeeeesh. holy shit. fuck

i've crunched the numbers and analyzed the situations man and i tell you i ran this in the most favorable of conditions. assuming this boy turned 19 literally 5 minutes before AOTC picks up and Space Years can be substituted by our years, and by '20+' we mean 21, this dude gets electrocuted every 7.4 weeks. dude...... like bro. like man.

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syntaxaero

grabs your hand. you've had enough plot and exposition and character development lately im taking you to the beach episode

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cryptotheism

I think any inanimate thing you regularly care for becomes a little alive.

If tools are just temporary extensions of the self, how much do you need to modify a foreign body until it isn't foreign anymore?

A bunch of women just saw you spill your subjectivity. At the club.

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qzvk

everyone has to stop making posts like "the world's loneliest ant has died in secret" its making me sad

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z-arcane

the worlds happiest ant has found large strawberry crumb

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spiderweb-bf

I don't think I could be trusted with shapeshifting powers bc I would just turn into a bear and attack things with my claws at any minor inconvenience. it would be my go-to solution for everything

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alex51324

I hope that's a guy in a real owlbear suit that physically exists, because if it's CGI over a guy in a green unitard, that's, like, the worst of both worlds.

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