heating pad my beloved

Twelfth doctor era of doctor who was incredible because it was basically just:

Clara: I can fix him (makes him worse)

Missy: I can make him worse (accidentally fixes him)

Bill: Well, I'm a lesbian and I'm going to be his friend :)

Doing more than one? Choose whichever you found the most helpful. ❤️

the thing is the king charles portrait is genuinely incredible and exactly how I would execute a portrait of a member of the british royal family but also I literally cannot fathom why the british royal family would have it made

like yeah if I were going to make a portrait of king charles I would absolutely have just his smugly smirking face leering out of a mass of red that could only be read as blood and gore, and have his military uniform fading ambiguously into the same background to lay bare the brutality of imperialism concealed by the pomp and ceremony of the british state, and make the entire thing sort of look like it was decaying to indicate the rot of the empire. like I really struggle to imagine a better visual metaphor for the nightmarish history of a dying empire than the king's spiffy military uniform and saber and sash and rows of epaulets being literally made out of a rotting field of blood and gore. but like why did he have it commissioned... why did he have it MADE and then say Looks great I'm putting it on the wall... HE EVEN LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN HELL

looks up at you with big eyes do i really have to have money to survive or can i be a useless faggot forever

Visibly trans people in customer facing retail and food services are braver than any marine and provide a far greater service to society

I DID eventually remember the actual first part of the rhyme but I also sat here for a few minutes trying to get past part of my brain offering "girls go to Venus to get more penis" and the rest of my brain shouting "that can't POSSIBLY have been the rhyme i learned growing up"

sometimes u will be the only person fagging it up. sometimes it'll be hard. but u gotta do it. u gotta show all the fags that fagging it up is the way. u must strive to fag it as much as possible. u have a limited time. fag it up and dyke it out

Call me Dracula with the way I gotta do everything around this fucking house

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

God remove me from the strongest soldiers list…. take me off the roster

they should add a fishing minigame to tumblr

In the kitchen straight up "chopping it". And by "it" haha well. Let justr say. My vegetble

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

[ID: a tweet by that's not very wonderhoy of you @ mosaikmage

"does the narrative respect women" and "do the characters in the story respect women" are actually two different questions with sometimes different answers

End ID]

TIL anyone who's going to overwinter in Antarctica has to have had their appendix out. Because removing an appendix that's not causing any trouble just as a precaution is way better than having one that's about to burst when you're on the ass-end of the planet with no way to be rushed to a hospital if shit gets real.

No, by the way, we absolutely did not think of this ahead of time. A dude named Leonid Rogozov got appendicitis in Antarctica. Fortunately, the expedition's doctor diagnosed him quickly and knew how to remove an appendix. Unfortunately, our man Leo was the expedition's doctor.

What did he do? Well, he set up a mirror, gave his belly a shot of novocaine, presumably told a colleague, "hold my vodka," and he removed his own fucking appendix. He survived.