Tonight’s sunset in NYC 

me in the mornings & me omw to work

It’s complicated because I care and don’t care at the same time

PREACH

Andy Samberg is what now

I’ve Survived Every Bad Day I’ve Ever Had, Motherfucker!!!

me, every single month without fail: huh weird I feel kind of bloated and lethargic but also very hungry??? and I’m breaking out??? and my back hurts??? this is so strange I have never experienced this before in my whole entire life… what could this be

me a few days later, every single month without fail: oh

If you’re an adult, do the stuff you couldn’t as a kid.

Like, me and my sister went to a museum, and they had an extra exhibit of butterflies. But it cost £3. So we sighed, walked past, then stopped. We each had £3. We could see the butterflies. And we did it was great. We followed it up with an ice-cream as well because Mum and Dad weren’t there to say no.

I was driving back from a work trip with 2 other people in their early 20s, and we drove past a MacDonalds. One of the others went “Aww man, I’d love a McFlurry.” And the guy driving pulled in to the drive through. It was wild. But it was great.

I went to a park over the weekend and I was thinking “Man, I’d love to hire one of those bikes and cycle round the park.” It took me a few minutes to go “Wait, I can hire one of those bikes!”

I guess what I’m saying is, those impulsive things you wanted to do as a kid - see the dinosaur exhibit, play in the fountains with the other kids, lie in the shade for 2 hours - you can do when you’re an adult. You have to deal with a whole lot of other bull, but at least you can indulge your inner 8 year-old.

not that i want a man, but where is he

half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole