chutiye maslay

@crazybutgood / crazybutgood.tumblr.com

21, she/her. 18+ only please. Thumper Rule.
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apparently Tumblr is now not only randomly unfollowing and following people for me without my knowing, but is also showing the 'Follow' button next to literally everyone, regardless of whether I'm already following that person or not. Nothing can be trusted in this hellscape šŸ«  Also sorry if this glitch affects you! I have no idea what's happening when

#this at a time when i was genuinely trying to go through and vet my following list#fucking tumblr#personal#update#glitch
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sugareey-makes-stuff
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k009

this gets funnier every yearĀ 

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. ā€œSomething wrong sweetie?ā€ She sighs and puts down her fork. ā€œI was digging really deep in AO3 last nightā€¦Why didnā€™t you finish that coffee shop au?ā€ It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

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thefingerfuckingfemalefury

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didnā€™t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

oh my god

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azriona
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thefringeperson

Every year, this becomes both more funny, and more painful, and for both of those reasons, it should never be lost or forgotten.

#q
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kimdokjas

though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ā™”

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rikichie

The beginning and the ending.

This story is already full of everything I need.

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dduane

So Iā€™ve seen episode 1 of Dead Boy Detectivesā€¦

And it was terrific. Funny, scary, long on snark and strong on heart.

Canā€™t wait for the full series to drop. :)

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vukovich

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

  1. kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
  2. text your landlord
  3. remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50ā€²s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
  4. briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
  5. remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united statesĀ 
  6. look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. itā€™s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and askĀ ā€œhey you wanna bang?ā€ and youā€™d sayĀ ā€œhell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinnerā€
  7. remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
  8. enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
  9. order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just saidĀ ā€œbonjourā€ instead ofĀ ā€œbonjour, hi.ā€ you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
  10. exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. itā€™s burning your fingers.
  11. return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
  12. back up
  13. ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, youā€™re a lesbian and punkā€™s not dead
  14. release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5ā€²2ā€³ 110lb body into it
  15. you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
  16. the door swings open
  17. run up the stairs
  18. open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMYā€™S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
  19. cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
  20. write tumblr post

this has a better plot than 90% of action movies

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i-say-ok

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