Hey Anon! I know it’s been like 2 months but I hope you’re doing ok. Thank you for sending this in 💕 I really liked the idea and you really helped me find some kinda footing with writing again! I hope you enjoy!
Amber skies started back as Haseul beyond the train window, bringing both a sense of tranquility and dread from the morning glow. It hadn’t even been an hour since she got on but the cover of night made a point to stay behind the city’s outskirts as it allowed the bustle of a new day to begin. It didn’t feel like a new day. If Haseul was honest, every day for the past year had felt the same. But there was a promise in today’s air and a suitcase full of her essentials on the bench across from her; there was someone waiting for her at the next stop and ten more people waiting for her at home.
If she could still call the dorm home.
She knew she had a bed in one of the rooms, knew Yeojin and Yerim took it upon themselves to decorate it with things she left in their old dorm and then a few new items they picked up in between now and then, but it wasn’t really her home. No matter how many pictures those two sent whenever they added something new to her side of the room, no matter how many achievements and milestones they made as a group, Haseul wasn’t there. Haseul couldn’t rightfully be included. The idea of her was there but she didn’t contribute to the energy and hard work it took for them to become what they have. She stopped contact with most of them after christmas.
Not the youngest members though, she still got texts from Hyejoo complaining about how Sooyoung’s been too busy to pay attention to her overworking herself too much, calls from Yeojin where she just talked about anything and everything to keep Haseul on the phone. Yerim had been a little more reserved after she missed Yeojin’s graduation but she still sent random photos and stickers every once in a while.
As for the others..it felt like they had picked sides and it was easier to cut ties than to put up with the hot and cold she got from some of them. She knew they all knew her and Vivi mutually agreed to end what they had, she read the late night texts begging her to fix whatever mess she made, she saw the way the same people draped over Vivi during interviews as if to protect her from the world.
Not that Haseul needed protection too, she could cope with her thoughts better than she could’ve last year, but it stung a little to know they felt Vivi needed protection from her.
She closed her eyes as she swallowed down the familiar feeling of apprehension digging it’s way up her throat. Maybe they’d let her settle in first, maybe they’d be as excited about her coming back as Yeojin said they were. She didn’t get too much longer to think before she felt the train slowing down. The voice overhead confirmed it was her stop, the rest of the people in her cabin seemed to be waiting for Seoul too. She hung back until most of the other people were lined up to step off though. Her suitcase felt heavier than it did when she got on, heavy enough to keep her rooted to her spot if she lacked the will to get this over with. But she did move, with the line, through the doors that kept her separated from the city and towards the edge of the platform their manager always waits for her at. Except it wasn’t her manager occupying himself with his phone, it was someone closer to her height, newly dyed black hair hidden under a hood.
Of all the people to pick her up, she didn’t expect her. Yet Vivi was smiling as she walked closer to meet her halfway, “Hi Seul.”
“Manager-unnie’s been sick,” she explained, “and I wanted to talk with you, before we go back.”
Haseul tried to think of any reason Vivi would want to talk to her after months of radio silence between the two, but she couldn’t come up with anything. She opened her mouth to respond but the only thing that came out was a sigh. Vivi smiled again, this time a little more reserved as she reached for the suitcase
She heard the unsaid ‘I’ in Vivi’s words. She almost felt dizzy from the transparency they hadn’t shown each other since they broke up.
“I missed you,” she finally found herself saying as she let the older woman pull her in for a tentative hug.
She had missed Vivi, even if she hardly allowed herself to admit it. But being this close to her, close enough to smell the change in shampoo since they last held one another, it felt safe.
