goodbye, miya - m. atsumu
warnings: angst(bc that’s all i write apparently), kinda fluff at the end <3, cheater!atsumu, manga/timeskip spoilers, i did not proofread bc i am lazy and like to do it after i post
the time was 11:23 PM when you walked in on your boyfriend having sex with another girl. you remembered because you checked the time, wanting to remember the moment for later in life. you never wanted to forget how someone you loved so much could do something so bad to you.
you’d been away from him for the month because you were visiting your family in germany due to a sibling’s medical emergency. you were supposed to come back home next week, but your brother had been released from the hospital and was told he would be fine. that’s when you decided to surprise your loving boyfriend, miya atsumu.
loving to mess with him, you wanted to surprise him with a bunch of ‘girly’ gifts. you bought him roses, chocolates, a teddy bear, you name it. you had gotten him so much stuff, that you had to leave your suitcase in the car to carry it all. you even wrote him a handwritten love letter.
when you got to the apartment, you were so excited to finally be back that you were practically jumping with joy, even skipping in the hallways like you were in elementary again. you were humming as you put the keys in the door handle, doing a little dance as you unlocked the front door.
upon walking in, you immediately saw it. miya atsumu, your boyfriend of almost three years, was fucking another girl on your own couch. atsumu finally noticed you when you had dropped everything in your hands, and he completely froze.
“fuck, y/n, it’s not what it looks like!” he was scrambling to get up and put on his clothes, the girl he was fucking had squealed when she saw you and was trying frantically to cover herself up.
you shut your eyes in disappointment, letting your head fall back. you could feel the tears streaming down your face. you looked over at him, he was tripping over his feet to put his pants on. “just save it, miya,” you turned on your heels and walked out of the apartment, shutting the door behind you. hearing you call him by his last name shattered his heart into pieces, realizing in that moment the gravity of what he’d done.
you waited for the elevator to come up, resting your head on the panel. before you knew it, he was stumbling out of the apartment trying to find you. when he jogged up to you, you turned your head and pretended like he wasn’t there.
he grabbed your wrist, “baby, listen to me. i’m so sorry, i should’ve never done that. i’ll do whatever i can just, please,” he was begging you, tears in his eyes, “please don’t leave.”
you yanked away from him as the elevator door opened. “miya, leave me alone,” you looked up at him with glossy eyes and a pout on your face, you knew if you had to see him for any longer, you’d break down. he went to touch your face, tears falling from his own eyes, “i’m sorry, y/n.”
he was pleading with you not to leave just from the look he was giving you, but you pulled away from his grasp and entered the elevator. looking at him one last time, you told him, “goodbye, tsumu.”
when the elevator doors shut, he was up against them sobbing. he’d never cried so hard in his life. why couldn’t he have just been a good boyfriend to you? what was so wrong with him that he ruined the most consistent, healthy thing in his life?
when walked back to his apartment, he discovered that the fling had left and the pile of gifts you were going to give him. picking them up one-by-one, he cried harder every time he’d noticed something he’d loved about them. when he picked up the letter addressed ‘to atsumu, the man i want to marry,’ he realized that he couldn’t even feel bad for himself because it was his fault that everything was ruined. nevertheless, he cried himself to sleep that night, looking at pictures of you and thinking about all the memories that he threw away.
when you left, you were calling your best friend and atsumu’s teammate, bokuto koutarou, to ask if you could come stay at his house for a little while. being as generous as he is, he told you that you could stay for however long you wanted.
when you got to bokuto’s, he was opening the door and giving you a comforting hug. he didn’t know what was wrong yet, but he knew it was something. after pulling you into his apartment, he let you explain everything while you hugged him and sobbed into his chest. “why would he do that to me, kou?”
“i don’t have a single clue, baby owl, but what i do know is that he’s getting a black eye and i’m no longer his friend,” bokuto rubbed small circles into your back as you hiccuped from sobbing. “come move in with me, okay? i’ll go get your stuff from your apartment with him so you don’t have to see him.” you thanked him numerous times for being so generous to you. 
❀
the next day, atsumu woke up at four in the afternoon to find himself blocked by you and bokuto on everything, except bokuto hadn’t blocked him on messages purely for team updates. he thought he might feel better after he slept, but he actually felt much worse.
he called osamu to try and tell him what he’d done and that he needed someone to talk to, but osamu hung up on him. he told atsumu, “she’s the only girlfriend you’ve ever had that i liked and you had to fuck it up? dude, you’re own your own.” atsumu was absolutely miserable, but he knew he deserved to feel this way.
not knowing what else to do, atsumu decided to go on a run. a run that lasted until the sun was starting to set three hours later—. when he stopped, he realized that he was in front of the place he’d taken you on your first date, a museum.
he remembered how he took you because you would always talk about how you wanted to go see famous art, and he just thought it would be the next best thing. he remembered the dress you wore and how you did your hair that day. he remembered how tight you hugged him and thanked him for taking you. he felt the tears pouring from his eyes, taking a seat on the museum steps and burying his head in his knees.
“hey, atsumu.” it was like he was hearing an angel. his head shot up to see you standing in front of him, giving him a smile of pity. god, were you still pretty even after he’d broken your heart yesterday, but the way he could tell your eyes were swollen from crying broke his heart. “y/n,” he gasped out, his voice cracking because of his tears. you took a seat beside him on the steps and asked, “why are you crying?”
“i ruined the best thing in my goddamn life for what? some stupid bitch that won’t even remember my name next week?” he was pulling on his own hair out of frustration when he felt your gentle hands pull at his wrists. he hated the way you were still trying to care for him after what he’d done to you. “don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself.”
“i’m sorry for everything. i cant apologize enough. just let me make it up to yo-,” you cut atsumu off by saying, “we need to talk, tsumu.”
he knew there was no way to fix it. he knew that you were going to tell him to move on and find someone new, but he didn’t want that. he wanted the girl that treated him better than anyone else in his entire life.
for just one last time, you reached for his hand and held it in yours. “i don’t want to see you like this over me, okay? i wish i could stay with you more than anything else, you know?”
he watched your face as you talked to him, you weren’t looking at him, but you were rubbing your thumb across his hand. he couldn’t tell if you were doing it to comfort him or to comfort yourself.
“i love you, and i always will, but we both know that it’s just not me for you anymore,” your voice was soft as you spoke to him. he knew you cried your eyes out last night, why weren’t you yelling at him? he didn’t want you to be nice to him, he needed you to be angry with him.
“but you are the one for me, y/n.” he was staring into your eyes, the both of you tearing up as your foreheads to met. “i’m not, tsumu, and that’s okay. if i was, that girl never would’ve been on our couch. i want you to be happy for me, because i’m not angry at you, and i don’t want you to be angry at yourself either. don’t let this ruin your life.”
the more you showed that you cared about him while you were leading up to your final goodbye, the more the guilt crept in. “i don’t want you to be out of my life. please, i need you,” atsumu begged you through his tears. even though tears were falling from your own eyes, you wiped his from his face.
“i won’t be out of your life forever. we’ll be friends once we’re both healed, and you can count on it,” your soft smile at him made him smile back at you, even if he was going through the worst time in his life. he cried out a simple “thank you.”
“goodbye, atsumu. i love you,” you kissed his forehead one last time before pulling away from him. “i love you too,” atsumu couldn’t stop the tears from falling from his eyes no matter how hard he tried. you stood up, looking down and him and ruffling your fingers through your hair. “happy three year anniversary,” you smiled at him, “take care of yourself, and don’t read my letter, yeah?.”
atsumu probably stayed on those steps sobbing for another hour before forcing himself to get up and go home. god, how he knew he’d miss you.
when he got home, he opened the love letter you’d written to him,
“to my loving, amazing, and caring future husband, i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. i wish you’d put a ring on it because i don’t think i can go on calling you my “future husband” instead of my fiancé any longer. our three year anniversary is tomorrow, and i’m happy that i got to make it home to see you. when i first met you, i couldn’t imagine us ever becoming a couple. you were cocky, loud, and obnoxious, but then i got to know the real you under that cold exterior. thank you for being the man that loves me more than i know how to love myself. thank you for introducing me to my best friend. thank you for introducing me to my second family. i’m ready to start my own with you soon, and i hope you wish the same. with all my love, your future wife, y/n.”
he swore he’d never recover from losing you.
❀
almost three years after you’d left him there on those steps, he received a letter in the mail. the second he saw your name on it, he was ripping it open. he hadn’t spoken to you since that day, and he just wanted to know if you were doing okay.
upon opening it, he pulled out a card. on the front it said in pretty cursive letters, “you’re invited to the union of y/l/n y/n and bokuto koutarou!” he could feel his heart drop to his stomach, now he knew that every inch of hope he had left to love you again was gone.
when he opened it, he saw the rsvp details and a picture of you and bokuto. you looked so happy with him that he couldn’t deny that it made him happy. even if it broke his heart, he only wanted the best for you, and if it was with bokuto, that would be okay. wanting to see how you were doing, he rsvp’d immediately.
unknowingly to him, you had screamed out of excitement when you thought you were going to see him again. your heart belonged to bokuto now, but atsumu was still your first best friend when you were in a relationship with him. bokuto didn’t even get jealous, maybe he even got a little excited to see his old teammate too.
❀
when atsumu arrived at the wedding six months later, he almost turned around and left when he saw you. he’d gotten there early, so he’d seen you when you were frantically running around the church with your bridesmaids. when you finally noticed him watching you, you ran up to him, “atsumu! it’s so good to see you!”
“likewise, y/n,” he smiled at you happily, even if part of his heart was still breaking from seeing you in wedding dress for anyone besides him. “you really look amazing. koutarou is one lucky man, huh?” he commented. you were beaming, so happy to finally speak to him again. “if anything, i’m one lucky woman.” atsumu rubbed the back of his neck, wishing he could escape, “i don’t doubt it.”
when the reception officially started and atsumu had to stand and watch it, he actually started crying. he hated seeing bokuto up there being the one crying at how pretty you were while walking down the isle. he physically felt his stomach cramp at the sight of you kissing each other, making your marriage official. when you pulled back, atsumu caught your eye and you gave him a sympathetic smile, understanding from your tears that he wasn’t over it.
that’s why you went to find him a little while after the after party had started. it was dark, and he was standing outside the new venue by himself. “hey,” you said, coming up from behind him. “hi,” he showed off a small smile.
“i know you’re not over me, tsumu,” he hated the way you could still call him his nickname so easily after all of these years. “i’m never gonna be over you, y/n.”
“come on, sit down with me,” you said as you sat down on the steps and pulled him down with you, it was just like three years ago when you broke up. “i know it must be hard seeing me like this, but i’m really glad you came tonight. it means a lot,” you told him, letting your head fall on his shoulder.
“i’m sorry i came when i wasn’t over you. i know it’s probably a step back for me, but i’ve missed talking to you,” atsumu told you, letting his head fall on top of yours. “i’ve missed you too, so you should come inside and dance with me. bokuto won’t get angry and punch you like he did the last time he saw you, i promise.” you both laughed at the end of your sentence. “good times, good times,” atsumu said.
“can i tell you something? i don’t want to upset you because it’s just about me with bokuto, you know? is that okay?” you ask him. “you can tell me anything, swear i’m not a snitch,” you were both laughing again.
“alright, well, i haven’t told bokuto this yet, but i’m pregnant,” you said it quickly, like it was some sort of hush secret. yeah, it hurt atsumu a lot, especially when he thought back to the letter you’d written him three years ago. “you’re actually the first one to know! it’s a girl, and i want to name her after your mom. so, that’s what i’m telling you.”
he didn’t know what effect you had on him, but you were always managing to make him cry somehow. “she’d love that, y/n. she misses you a lot, and so does ‘samu.” he confesses. “yeah, well, i miss them too. your family was all i had for awhile, and i wanna see them again.”
“do you wanna come see them after your honeymoon with bokuto? maybe tell mom that your child, that’s not even mine by the way, is being named after her?” you laughed at his comment and nodded your head. “i can’t wait,” you held out your pinky, trying to make him promise that he wouldn’t back out of it. he took your pinky in his, and smiled at you.
yeah, he missed being your boyfriend, but he felt a lot better knowing that he could talk to you again. it honestly felt nice for you to be his friend again, even if you were married to bokuto now.
“thanks for everything, atsumu. i don’t regret anything when it comes to you, even the part where you cheated on me,” you teased him and hit his arm with your elbow. he just laughed and smiled at you, “well, i regret the cheating part, but absolutely nothing else,” atsumu told you.
“thank you for not hating me after everything i put you through. you really deserve someone like bokuto, y/n.” you could tell that atsumu was being genuine with you, not just lying to make you happy.
“i wish you could find someone too, you deserve to be just as happy as i am with kou.” the way he smiled at you told you that he had hope that he would for the first time in a long time.
“i’ll find someone eventually, but for now we should probably go back. maybe i’ll even steal your new husband for a dance or two?” he laughed at his own joke as he stood up, and reached out a hand to help you up. as soon as you were up, you elbowed him in his side, “no one is stealing my husband away except me!”
yeah, atsumu could get used to this.
end notes: yeah so this is definitely my favorite thing i’ve ever written bye. dude i wish i could add a keep reading thing but mobile won’t let me and neither will safari once i save it to my drafts. u can’t do it on mobile right ?? help ?? also maybe i made the reader forgive him too quickly but like idk it was just a genuine love and you never want to see them sad even if they hurt you 😔
BYE THIS WAS SOOOO GOOD FOR WHATTT? i can read this 100 times over and not get tired of it😭😭😭
