Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"

the rule34 sites are like. such a unique landscape. they have to be the sites that have the most users so out of touch with their core concept. "if it exists theres porn of it". a simple premise, no? tell that to the people who act like they need their eyes bleached when they see a video of masterchief and doom guy, 2 conventionally attractive men, fuck eachother.

also the amount of people i see complain about mpreg images is so funny. "wtf. 2 guys fucking eachother? and getting each other pregnant? you can't get pregnant through the ass!" like my guy, this is an image of 2 buff lizard people with cocks wider than their head making so much cum they could fill an olympic-sized swimming pool. the fact that one of them is getting pregnant here is not the standalone unrealistic thing in the image stop tryna pretend it is so you can dunk on mpreg. like we know you can't get pregnant through the ass were on rule34.xxx do you think we're here for realistic porn?

the upside is you get images like this

nah this aint gonna get any notes. i posted it in the middle of the night and its about rule34 and mpreg which arent popular topics on tumblr.

bro trust me it aint gonna work this post aint gonna blow up cause you keep rebloggin every week

Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.

Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."

Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?

At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.

No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.

"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.

I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.

This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).

It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.

Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys

this guy gets it

this is so funny

i was looking for special cat feeders because ours are gluttons who gorge themselves and i found this one...device:

this sounded fun so i checked the comments and...

im??

come to the dark side we have dry food scattered in strategically designed green colored plastic tubes

Here's the full suit! It's in Japan ofc haha. And not a fursuit! This person is just costuming as a human-sized cat. Not anthro or related to the furry fandom. Kid me would have cried tears of joy if I saw this irl. Cat but big. Very Beatrice Potter.

Ugh, I keep seeing this post and it keeps rankling me every time.

It's an amazing fursuit.

Yes, it is a fursuit. Yes, "costuming as a human-sized cat" is fursuiting. Yes, the creator (Mikeneko Yamada) is a fursuit maker specializing in cat suits, but has also made a tanuki, a bear, a shiba inu, a frog, and several more that I've seen. Yes, the fursuit is both hyper-realistic and anthro (it's on two-legs, thus exhibiting human-like behavior and that's all anthropomorphic really means). No, fursuits don't have to be cartoony sparkledogs to be fursuits. Hyper-realistic fursuits (like this) and quadsuits exist. They are still fursuits. Yamada, the creator of this fursuit, blogs their exact process making fursuits with the EXACT same processes other fursuit makers use to make fursuits, down to the jawsets and head rigs and air fans absent from many non-furry mascot costume work. This is a fursuit.

And that's okay!

Idk why people feel the need to distance themselves from liking furry. It's such a wide genre. It's not all Disney's Robin Hood, Beatrix Potter's art is furry art too! People like to try and compartmentalize it into the tropes that make them cringe but for everyone out there participating in furry fandom some way you don't personally like, there's another person out there doing something like this you think is cute or fun or interesting. It's diverse, and people on the internet need to stop acting like they're allergic to furries every time they see a furry do something they actually like.

happy earth day. don’t forget that someone else’s outdoor cat is your indoor cat

A few years ago I picked up a cat at an apartment across town because tenants said the owner had threatened to shoot her. They’d been feeding this cat for five or six months. She’d just shown up one day, friendly as can be, and never left. I asked if anybody had tried finding an owner - they said no, but that she did have a collar on when she first showed up. They just assumed she was some outdoor cat or abandoned. The first thing I did the next morning was take her to the shelter to scan for a microchip, which she had. Her owner was so happy when we contacted her. Her cat had escaped while moving and she’d looked for her for months before resigning herself to the reality that her cat was probably dead. If those tenants had seen a friendly cat show up and immediately taken her to the shelter, it would have saved this person months of heartache, and this poor cat months of fear, ear mites, ticks, and fleas.

This is why I hate outdoor cats. Yes, they cause environmental damage. Yes, they’re going to be killed by cars or coyotes or assholes. But on a completely selfish level, I know that because of people’s normalization of outdoor cats if my indoor, microchipped cats ever got out there’s a good chance I’d never see them again. People see a loose dog running around and they assume it’s lost. They try to catch it or call the dog warden. People see a cat running around and they ignore it. Maybe they feed it for months and never even think that that cat might have someone out there worried sick.

So yeah, if I see an outdoor cat I will catch it and make sure it’s not chipped, and, in accordance to my local laws (make sure you check yours), I will feed that cat for three days, making it my (soon to be indoor) cat.

It does! You should check for a chip and/or collar (most vets will screen a cat for a microchip without any fee) to be sure they aren’t a missing cat, but other than that…If your cat never goes in your house, wears no identification, and isn’t cared for, it isn’t your cat.

Raiden metal gear is a rebis (he/him, built in high heels)

This design is perfect. A magnum opus

It's him, it's Summa Perfectionis

I've been on a bit ob a Russell Crowe movie binge in the past few weeks and since he is almost sixty now, many of the movies I've watched were consequently older movies. and when I watched them, it struck me again, how much hollywood has changed in the last few decades when it comes to depicting men.

take Gladiator for example from the year 2000. Russell Crowe plays basically an action hero in it. he is a big, muscly dude, who is very strong and uses that strength to defeat his enemies. and this is what he looks like:

looks like a strong man, right?

in the same year, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine looked like this in the first X-men movie:

in 2013 the same character played by the same actor looked like this:

it's a bit much, isn't it? I mean, he looks so skinny.

and if we go even further back: look at what the womanizer character Face from the A-team looked like in the 80s show vs the 2010 movie reboot:

maybe the difference isn't that big but it really startled me when I watched that movie for the first time. in my mind there was no reason why Face should be particularly muscular since he is the charming one not the one known for being particularly strong.

if we go even further back, look at the charmin womanizer character Hawkeye in M*A*S*H from the 70's.

I know he's a doctor and there is no reason for him to be ripped but I got the feeling if they did the show now, he would be.

I don't know what my point really is I'm just saying I got a bit nostalgic when watching these men. I cannot be the only one who'd rather see more of this:

than this:

also, as a sidenote: Russell Crowe gained a lot of weight for the nice guys and he is a fucking powerhouse in that film, like, when he punches someone, you really feel it because of the weight that is behind it and the shere mass of his body.

(even if this may look different, he's about to break Ryan Gosling's character's arm. I couldn't find a gif of him punching someone but I swear it looks painfull as hell.)

so, in short: can we get big, heavy action guys back? cause I'm tired of seeing these skinny, despite being muscular dudes who look dehydrated as hell and on steroids.

and can we stop making characters ripped just for the sake of it? cause I'd rather cuddle with a guy looking like Hawkeye than one looking like Face from the new A-team movie.

As much as I love the Stardew Valley spouses it always kinda bugs me that they stay stagnant after you marry them. Like even after having kids and passing a decade in game they look and act the exact same? Anyway what if

(Also don’t worry I will be doing the bachelors. I’m drawing dilf Elliott even if it kills me)

i really appreciate this post doing decently well in spite of being pretty sure most of the people reblogging it have no idea that nick castellanos only hits home runs with the commentators are talking about tragedies or destroying their careers

— Castellanos hits a home run while Thom Brennaman apologizes for making a homophobic comment on air

— Castellanos hits a home run immediately after Fernando Tatís Jr. suffers a season-ending injury

— Castellanos hits a home run while the broadcasters eulogize the father of a team employee

— Castellanos hits a homer on 9/11

— Castellanos hits a single while the broadcast talks about one of the Blue Jays’ coaches being arrested for a DUI

— Castellanos hits a home run the night of the Oscars Slap

— Castellanos hits a home run on the day of Pittsburgh Steelers QB Dwayne Haskins’ death

— Castellanos hits a homer immediately after the broadcast talks about a Memorial Day tribute

— Castellanos hits a home run at the game dedicated to Atlanta’s PA announcer who just passed away

— Castellanos hits a home run on the day of legendary Dodgers announcer Vin Scully’s death

— Castellanos hits a home run on the day Queen Elizabeth died

i don't know how to find the video but there's also the time an announcer was talking about how he was coming in to commentate on the same day his father passed away and is nearly in tears, but collects himself as the batter steps up to the plate and says "i'll stop talking about it here, don't want to pull a nick castellanos." and the batter immediately rips a home run deep into left field.

the only baseball card i own. i use it to ward off evils.

nick castellanos incurred an enormous karmic debt for which we all must pay

One of my favourite post formats is when someone with a similar URL to op torments them like they are failed clones of each other and it completely changes the tone of the original post.

So. I think we have some things in common

no one talk to me for 24 hours i need to get this chapter out on the 15th or ill die

me leaving my word document in the middle of my hyperfocused roll for the first time in 7 hours to go take care of my stupid human body

ok bye

5 hr later 15 minute break everyone. i have. a green mosnter drink

i doubled the wordcount but at what cost

The French really don’t fuck around.

TUMBLR SEXYREMATCH POLL MASTERPOST

I'll update this as the rounds progress.