the plant has a question

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                                    i         w    i    s    h  iwasdead                                                  i         w    i    s    h iwasdead                                                   i         w    i    s    hiwasdead                                                    i         w    i    s   hiwasdead                                                     i         w    i    s  hiwasdead                                                      i         w    i    s hiwasdead                                                       i         w    i    shiwasdead                                                        i         w    i   shiwasdead                                                         i         w    i  shiwasdead                                                          i         w    i shiwasdead                                                           i         w    ishiwasdead                                                            i         w   ishiwasdead                                                             i         w  ishiwasdead                                                              i         w ishiwasdead                                                               i         wishiwasdead                                                                i        wishiwasdead                                                                 i       wishiwasdead                                                                  i      wishiwasdead                                                                   i     wishiwasdead                                                                    i    wishiwasdead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                       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was dead                                                               i wish i           was dead                                                                i wish i         was dead                                                                 i wish i       was dead                                                                  i wish i     was dead                                                                   i wish i   was dead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                                    i wish i was dead                                                                   i wish i was dead                                           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“Olmuyorsa zorlamamayı, bir sonucu yoksa bitirebilmeyi öğrenip bazı şeylerin benim isteğime göre değişmeyeceğini, kimsenin ilk zamanlardaki gibi kalmadığını, hayatın bir şekilde hep devam ettiğini anladığımdan beri hiçbir şeye takılmıyorum.”

Hem kırgın olup hem bir şeyler yapmayı istemek çok kötü değil mi ya. Düzeltmesi gereken sen değilsin ama böyle olmaya da dayanamıyorsun.

Öyle bir dağılmışım ki, toplayamıyorum artık. tüm çabam yetersiz, boşunaymış gibi. ben artık kendimi bulamıyorum. yolun sonu bu.

"Üzmeyin beni artık nolur" dedikten hemen sonra beni seven birinin bacağında saatlerce ağlayıp, uyuyakalmak istiyorum.

Aslında Ziynet Sali bizim tüm durumumuzu açıklıyor. “Yan yanaysak hep çare bulunur” diyor. Biz senle yan yana olamadığımız için çare bulamadık. Sahil kenarında içerken bunları konuşsaydık, sarılsaydık, öpüşseydik aramızda hiçbir sorun kalmazdı. Mutlu olurduk. Hemde çok mutlu.

“Birinin yokluğu en çok istediğin an ona gidemeyeceğini, gecenin herhangi bir saatinde özledim diye aramayacağını anladığın an başlıyor.”

01.23

unutursun demişler, acı çekene.

demiş ki evet unuturum

fakat onun bana yaşattıklarını nasıl unutucam.

insanlar silinse bile mekanlar sokaklar canlandırır gözünde demiş.

işte bu yüzden insan insanı unutur ama,

yaşattıklarını unutamaz.

güzel bi hatıra olarak sakladığın şeylerin, 

varlığını buruk bir hatıra olarak sürdürmesi.

bir şeyleri düzeltmek için hep çabaladım. ve bu bana üzüntüden başka hiçbir şey vermedi.

Yok oluyorum

Bugün yine seni özledim.. ne ben yokum, ne sen varsın.

sohbet odalari