甘い避難所

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

The biggest scam your brain is telling you is that everybody else is human and allowed to make mistakes but that you yourself have to be perfect and flawless to deserve their company

In the olden days they did things so sensibly. Page 8 of The Liverpool Daily Post, 29 March 1937

ID:

Barmaid Becomes Barman

Girl Re-Registered

The re-registration of a seventeen-years-old Ellen Caldwell, a Crewe barmaid, residing at Martin Street, as a male, and her appearance at the hotel where she is employed smartly attired in man's clothing, has brought to a conclusion a remarkable episode of transformation.

Last summer, she sought medical advice, and an operation was performed at Manchester Royal Infirmary. The operation was successful, and her father has taken the necessary steps to have her re-registered, this time as a male.

She has changed her name to Alan, and Ellen the barmaid is now Alan the barman.

/End ID.

I was worried for a second, but it turns out I was looking in the wrong county -

Here he is!

Part of the 1939 register, a census showing the Caldwell family living at 46 Martin Street, Crewe.

John Caldwell, head of the family, a 54 year old general labourer. His wife, Edith, also 54 years old and listed as "unpaid domestic duties" - a housewife. Alan, spelled Allen here, is 20 (birthday 12th May), and working as a garage hand. A closed record - either someone who is still alive, and/or someone who was a small child at the time of the census, or,, idk some other reason, but it's usually those. Last is John Junior, who is 12 and still at school.

It turns out he stuck with the spelling of Allen, because here look -

He got married! Spring 1941, to a Miss Sylvia Copp.

I can't see the details without ordering the record itself, and I don't hugely have that money spare atm, but I hope they had a lovely day of it, even if I can't see who were their witnesses

A commonly overlooked symptom of depression is anhedonia, the inability to feel joy or pleasure. The reason that it's easy to overlook is that it's easier to miss the absence of something that's not around all the time than it is to miss a symptom that causes active distress, such as feeling tired and miserable all the time.

Anhedonia is good at being a persistent undercurrent to your life. My aunt, who has major depressive disorder, related to me that she figured out that something was wrong when she looked at the daffodils she had planted blooming, and couldn't recognize the emotion that she felt when she looked at them. It had been long enough since she had felt happy that she lost the ability to recognize the emotion.

It's a particularly dangerous depressive symptom, because it robs you of the ability to feel those little spots of joy that keep a lot of people going, while not doing anything to impair your ability to function. If you don't know that this is a treatable symptom of depression, it's easy to assume that your ability to feel good is permanently broken, and decide to commit suicide because you don't want to live like that. It's not an irrational conclusion, but it is an uninformed one, and everyone deserves to have all the information when making a major decision.

This is what a lot of questionnaires are trying to look for when they ask about "loss of enjoyment". If you can't remember a loss of enjoyment because you can't remember enjoyment, then you probably have anhedonia. If you struggle to define how it is to feel "happy", "content", or "good", or how it feels when you feel those emotions, you probably have anhedonia. If you can't remember feeling any of those emotions for a week or more, you probably have anhedonia.

Symptoms commonly co-occurring with anhedonia are fatigue (often the cause), clear and thoughtful consideration of suicide, loss of desire to socialize or do activities that used to make you happy, and weight loss (due to lack of enjoyment of food).

This section is anecdotal. In what I have observed, anhedonia due to fatigue rarely responds well to depression treatment unless depression was causing the fatigue. If fatigue and anhedonia are co-occurring and are not both alleviated by depression treatment, consider other causes for the fatigue.

A couple notes that I forgot when I originally posted this:

It's also a common symptom of schizophrenia and schizoid personality disorder, but often doesn't respond to antipsychotics. In addition, in schizophrenia and schizoid personality disorder, anhedonia generally tends to "come and go", as opposed to depressive disorders, where when untreated, it often doesn't let up for months or years. This can make it more difficult to spot and treat than in depressive disorders.

ADHD can also have "come and go" anhedonia as a symptom, and ADHD medication has mixed results with alleviating it.

An early warning sign is if you've tried the "enrichment in your enclosure" by rolling out something new and fun or something you rarely do that generally brings you joy, and the result is an emotional reaction you can describe as "null".

happy tdov my loves. don't let anyone else define your transness for you.

help trans women evacuate gaza

I'm curious. what job would you do if money was no object (you just automatically had an income you could live comfortably on)? including work like volunteering, studying etc. please share in the tags :)

An absolute lad

new reaction image

There are only two mental illnesses according to people on the internet:

pandalalai

Do you ever get that feeling where you cry because actually the weird little animals that roam our world are so cute and so good and you just wanna cuddle them all <3

[ID: video of a tan rabbit, leaned on it's back legs with a paw on a branch of blueberries, chewing on a berry. / end]

i cant put this into words but. yeah. you know.

Something I want able bodied people to understand is that I don't want a diagnosis cause I wanna be sick so bad; I want a diagnosis because there is already something wrong with my body but I don't know what the fuck it is.

any of you ever stand with your hands kinda touching together sorta like this

you’ll be reduced down to a single atom once im done with you

That guy from "Mulan" was like "I'll make men out of you" and judging by the transmasc fanbase, did exactly as he promised