Sooyeon’s mind was an enigma in this moment, both flickering quickly through thoughts and worries, but simultaneously empty. Or maybe it wasn’t that her mind was empty… she was just tired. Tired of trying to hide, of trying to find a way to explain herself. Tired of hoping someone might believe her so that she could return to her life as if nothing had happened.
She missed everything she’d left behind. She missed playing with her niece and long conversations with her sister. She missed days out with her mother, and nights out with her friends. She missed human contact in all its forms- talking. Holding hands. Hugs hello and goodbye. And she even missed working at the cozy little book store and the ignorance of not knowing what her employer had been capable of.
If she’d had a choice to go back and redo it, perhaps she would have gone straight to the police. Then again, if she had tried would she even have survived long enough to make it there? The only reason she’d gotten away that night was because she’d been unpredictable in her whereabouts. Had she gone to the police, gone home, gone to her sister or her parents, she would likely never have made it. Another missing person eventually turned cold case.
But would death really have been so much worse than where she was at right now? Trapped in the passenger seat of a stranger’s car after pointless weeks of trying to disappear. And this stranger was someone who intended to sacrifice her to a broken justice system, like a frightened little lamb being offered up for slaughter.
She had to remind herself again and again, especially now, that he wasn’t the bad guy. He was just doing his job. It wasn’t his fault that he’d been lead to believe she was a murderer, and it wasn’t his fault that he was unlikely to believe her should she tell him she wasn’t. He’s just doing his job. Just doing his job. He’s just doing his job.
The words, a mantra by this point, helped ease her only slightly.
She lifted her head a bit to gaze out the window, curious to where they were going. To her dismay, she didn’t recognize the area. Didn’t recognize the road. The sound of her own breathing was the only thing recognizable about the entire scene. She stole a glance in his direction- he was handsome despite his stoicism, but not the kind of guy she would have approached under different circumstances. He lacked the laugh lines, the soft eyes, the sweet smile. Then again, maybe under different circumstances he wouldn’t have such a hardened expression. Maybe they could have even been friends. She doubted it, but the thought was nice. It made it easier to see him as just another person instead of a tool of her demise.
The mention of her phone had been the only explanation she’d thought she would be giving. As far as she believed, he didn’t intend to properly hear her out. Not him nor anyone else. But if there was even the smallest hope that he might listen, then she’d thought maybe she could catch his attention with the line. Maybe he’d let her offer more. And though it was more likely that he wouldn’t care about a single word she said, there was still the chance he might let her plead her case, wasn’t there?
His tone was softer now, maybe a hint of curiosity sitting at the base of his question. Should she continue? The stubborn part of her wanted to shut up, make him work for the information. But she wasn’t in any position to be stubborn. Only a fool would miss out on their last opportunity to save themselves.
Besides, if she did tell him her side, it couldn’t cause anymore harm, could it? The worst that would happen is he would scoff in disbelief and she would shut her mouth and let things proceed as they had.
“At the bookstore.” She answered, voice still small. She spared him another glance, but couldn’t yet find it in herself to keep focused on him. He might take that as a sign that she was lying- too much or too little eye contact was suspicious, she knew. But truth be told, she might break down into sobs if she looked at him for too long. He was just a person, a person doing his job so he could make his money and afford his rent and his electricity and his car insurance and whatever else. He was also, however, the one person who currently held Sooyeon’s life in the palm of his hand. She chose to look out the windshield instead, “I got off work late that night. Closed up. Went home. Nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that I left my phone behind. I don’t know if it was in the back room or on the shelf beneath the register… I think it was in the backroom. That’s where I was going to look for it first, at least. It was probably on the windowsill. I can’t remember now, but I think that’s where I last had it.” She tended to sit there on her breaks, reading a book or replying to texts from her sister. Not that that detail mattered much. Besides, she’d trailed off a little too much already. He wasn’t looking for conversation or to learn about her day to day life, just explanations of that night. She shook her head a bit, tried to get her mind back on the topic at hand though it was desperately trying to avoid the memories of what transpired next. It was hard to focus when focusing meant remembering, and remembering meant reliving, “I just wanted to go back, grab my phone, then go home and sleep. It didn’t seem like such a big deal. I had the keys, knew the security code. I would let myself in, close up again, and text my boss about what happened so he would know that I had been back after closing. He’d laugh off my forgetfulness and everything would go back to normal.”
Sooyeon tensed up though, felt her hands tremble a bit at the next memory. She balled them into fists, pressing crescent moons into her palms with her fingernails in an attempt to compose herself, brace for the flood of emotion if possible. She remembered walking there despite the threat of rain, wanting to take in the cold, fresh, air. She remembered being stopped by an old friend from university and the few brief minutes of idle chit-chat. And she remembered unlocking the door, shutting off the security system, and then… “I didn’t think-” She didn’t think she’d walk in with innocent intentions, only to be witness to a gruesome murder. She didn’t think she’d end up splattered in blood, nor running out with two men close behind, prepared to silence her. She didn’t think she’d have to sneak her own bag out of her own car an hour later to ensure she had cash and clothes to survive off of for the weeks to come. She hadn’t even gotten her phone back! Not that having it would have helped much now, but at least she’d have pictures of her family to look at when she felt lonely. She could have looked over old texts, pretended as though she just had to wait until tomorrow to get pizza with her sister or to go watch a movie with her best friend.
Instead she was stuck here with nothing more than the recurring mental image of that poor woman choking on her own blood as she reached out for Sooyeon, fingers painting trails of blood down her lilac dress. The smell of it. The feel of it. The taste of it. The shriek that left her in fear and shock of what she’d just seen.
Sooyeon nearly curled in on herself again, took a few deep breaths in through her nose. She hadn’t had her anxiety medication since this all started, and though she might have been fine without it under normal circumstances, she could have really used it right about now, “I didn’t think I would walk in on something like that. He used to seem so friendly. But his eyes were so cold and…” She continued, voice barely more than a frantic whisper in the hopes that the trembling of her words wouldn’t be so obvious. She didn’t want this man to know she was finally starting to cry, the reality of everything that had happened more inescapable in this moment than it had ever been. She didn’t have the adrenaline of running away to hide behind, all she had was the bare truth. Raw exposure. Sooyeon no longer cared if he believed her. For all her insistence on not telling him unless he agreed to actually hear her out, all she really wanted now was for someone to know what happened, whether they thought it the truth or not “I should’ve stayed home.”
Leo set his jaw, his eyes fixed on the ribbon of tarmac ahead. It was straight, almost too straight, He thought, as he story tumbled and unravelled on her tongue, that perhaps the road he was leading them down should have been far more unpredictable. But then again, did that not fit the very nature of unpredictable? Unexpected? Unwanted. The twists and turns did not come. Not in their route nor her words. Sooyeon spoke with such gentle distress, it was all Leo could do to keep driving without saying a word.
If he had been uncertain himself before, it was nothing compared to now. He had heard many stories in his time. Pathetic excuses dredged up from some pit of desperation, soaked in the muck of lies that was too thick to go unnoticed. He heard people beg for their lives, falling back on the truth that they knew would simply land them in a far worse fate than the one’s they were in already. Leo dealt with filth. He scraped the bottom of the human barrel. That was what he had intended from the start. To find those that crawl in the dark, you have to learn to navigate that darkness yourself. The gang Sooyeon was tied to - intentionally or not - were the very epitome of scum. They killed for their own means and wants, and that alone. If one of their own was caught, they’d be sure to spin a story so devoid of any real emotion, it was as though they’d learned it from a script. Of course, there had been the occasional exception over the years. Leo had only been responsible for the capture of two of those mindless lackeys, and one had gone to pieces whilst the other and recited his lines like the perfect actor. Neither had been bailed out by their bosses.
And then there was Sooyeon. The regret in her voice. The fear. The longing for normality. Leo’s knuckles grew white, his hands clutching the steering wheel. This was no act. He was sure. God, he was so sure, and it rattled him to his core. This was not the plan. He knew that pain so well. He knew the feeling of footsteps backtracked in a quiet room, of blood that was not his speckled across his clothes. He knew the threats. He knew it so goddamn well.
She had witnessed a murder. So she was collateral damage. Useful collateral damage. Pin the death on her, make it so blindly obvious that no one would bother to look further into it, and skulk back off in the shadows. Bounty hunters weren’t exactly above the law, but they had their uses. Both police and those looking for a quick payout would be onto her. Why ask? Why make things more complicated than they needed to be? Money would exchange hands, either for the service or through corruption. And another innocent would take the blame.
He had been told that she was part of that gang. How could he pass up a lead like that? It occurred to Leo only now that perhaps that was exactly what they had wanted when he’d been contacted.
The town they had been in was gradually thinning out, giving way to open fields split in two by the dead straight road. There were occasional side roads, tucked into outcrops of trees. Without a word, Leo turned, glancing in his mirrors with a heightened sense of paranoia. They knew. They knew.
He slammed on the brakes. One hand instinctively shot out to steady the shoulder of the girl beside him. Leo pulled it away quickly and sat in silence.
If this was the truth, she couldn’t go back. He couldn’t take her in. Forwards or backwards, either way was a death sentence.
“You should have stayed home…” he echoed her. What did a phone matter now? It was just another way to be tracked. Another way to be found. And if she was found with him…
Turning to her slowly, Leo tried to scan her face. His eyes traced over the lines of mouth, the curl of her hair, her hands, back up to her eyes. She looked as though she might cry if she uttered another word. He sighed.
“Not that it would make much of a difference now,” he continued, “But do you swear to me that your telling the truth? That you walked into that room and found the body, and the man who killed her? That you had nothing to do with it?”
If it was true, so many questions sprang from the circumstances like an overflowing well. If the gang leader was Sooyeon’s boss, running a bookstore in such an open manner, what did they use the location for? Just how unwitting could she be? Why was that girl murdered in such a public space, no matter how after hours it was? For now, those questions would have to wait. It was imperative he kept Sooyeon with him; for both her sake and his own.
“Swear to me. And I will believe you.”
