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@frognocci

jacqueline; girl you thicker than a bowl of oatmeal
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When you see this message, you are lucky to have a famous glasses holiday promotion for as little as $24.99.

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me: [accidentally closes a chrome window with 50+ tabs]
my laptop, gently weeping: oh my god………… oh ym hgod thank you so much……….. thank y
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jerryterry

Me, realizing my mistake, reopening Chrome and preparing to mash ctrl+shift+T to bring them all back one by one:

My computer:

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reblogged

*accidentaly vents to friend*Β great now i can never speak to them again

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reblogged

β€œI want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, β€œShe wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

β€œI am the manager.”

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site

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tumblr: how about instead of improving our app and actually showing pictures, let’s replace them with

gradients
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teacher: what’s Newton’s third law?
me: every action has its equal opposite reaction
teacher: why’d you say it like that
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