On hiatus for a lil while

okay but saying “i wish i had known you sooner” — like the love in my heart is growing so big and fast for you that i wish i had the opportunity to have you way earlier by my side, because i want to love you longer than i can do now. my love for you reaches my past and makes a place for you.

Couldn't stop thinking about that tweet, I love the idea of a god promoting his faith.

A list of things (in no order) they BETTER include in the movie

- Rule #1: Don't Get Caught

- "And they are not khakis they're chinos. Khakis are for white people."

- The magazine page

- Zahra stealing Alex's phone and shoving it in her bra after the emails get leaked

- "Numbers on me being into dudes?"

- Get Low at the new years gala (bonus points for "Fuck it up, vato!")

- Alex blowing a beer bottle

- If I don't hear Bea's emotional depth pie speech I'll riot

- "America: He is my choice."

- "Now, I'm standing here, and I'm thinking about it... A reliable, hardworking, honest, Southern Democrat versus corruption, and maliciousness, and hate. And one big state full of honest people, sick as hell of beinf lied to."

- "Say good morning to your strumpet, Henry" "Good morning strumpet"

- Honestly the entire facetime with Pez while him and Henry are in Wales--

- Idk man i wanna see dc dykes on bikes chase westboro baptish church goers down the street

- "I am the First Son of the United States, and I'm bisexual. History will remember us."

- "I've seen Jurassic Park. Did you know birds are directly descended from raptors? That's a scientific fact. Raptors in my bedroom, Henry. And you want me to go to sleep like they're not gonna bust out of their enclosures and take over the island the minute I close my eyes? Okay. Maybe your white ass."

- "i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom"

- The "Sexual Experimentation With Foreign Monarchs: A Gray Area" powerpoint

- "Sería una mentira, porque no sería èl."

- "Dear Thisbe, I wish there weren't a wall. Love, Pyramus"

- "Oh I'm terribly sorry Pip! So awfully clumsy, I think all that cocaine I did must have done a number on my reflexes!"

- Them dancing to Your Song in the A&V

- Alex NEEDS to fall into that rosebush

- "Hey. We won." "Yeah. We won."

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

motherfucker said PROFESSIONAL

Here on tumblr we are all professionals.

Step 1: try to assess dominance over your target

Step 2: if actions fail, try to convince them of your superiority through words

Step 3: beware the counteroffensive

Step 4: have a meltdown

Logitech updating their controller description rn to “can withstand implosion 👍🏻”

but how can I do this five minute task if I'm leaving in thirty minutes

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple

French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme 

*800 years of war*

Fun fact: There are a lot of rivers in the UK named “avon” because the Romans arrived and asked the Celts what the rivers were called. The Celts answered “avon.” 

“Avon” is just the Celtic word for river.

Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”

W H E E Z E

Just lemme open my ol whatthat

fuck due dates i wish nothing was ever due

except babies. sorry to all newborns for this insensitive post.

What is it about laying on the floor when you're overwhelmed that makes everything feel so much better?

When God has ceased to answer your prayers, it feels good to distance yourself from Heaven.

Adding this to my list of incredibly raw fucking lines gifted from the impossible wonder that is tumblr

🌳🌲🌳🌳🌲🌳🌳🌳🌲

Tiny forest for your dash

🐿️🦔🦉🐜🕷️

wildlife returning to your dash :)

🌳🦆🌿🌈🌅🐸🌱🌳🦋🌳

Look, there's a small river crossing your dash!

⛰️⛰️🏔️🐏🌲🐐⛰️🌲🦅🏔️⛰️

We're coming up on a mountain range

🌱🌾🌻☘️🌼🌱🏵🌾🌼🐦☘️🌻☘️🌾🌱🏵

Meadow!

🌅🌊🐬🐟🐠🐙🐚🌴

Slowly reaching the coast!

☁️🍃🕊️☁️🐦☁️☁️🦅🦇☁️🦋☁️🌤️

Into the sky

🌌🌙🚀☄️🌌🪐🌟💫🌌🪐🌠🛸

Made it to space!

i killed you all.

🔥🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🌱🪨🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🔥🪨🪨🪨🪨🔥

and yet, life remains

🪨🪨🪨🌱🪨🪨🪨🪨🌿🪳🪨🪨🪨☘️🪨

the fire died out. we’re recovering

🌳🌲🌳🌳🌲🌳🌳🌳🌲

Tiny forest for your dash

i love math. i hate math. i can do it all day, everyday. i cannot solve a single question. it's my favorite subject. I would rather kms than open the book. it's beautiful and everything makes sense and it's the best. it's fucking useless and nothing is logical and it's the worst. it's the loml. it's my arch nemesis.

came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat

@badasserywomen​

:DDDDDDDDD