@boywiththewoodensword / boywiththewoodensword.tumblr.com
Sorry if it’s a little cramped- had to make this all fit in ten photos. Hope you guys like it….. and again…. sorry Andrew
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The window visual did me in I’m wheezing
NO
I haven’t seen this in years and yet it is burned into my memory forever.
This is on the short list of Eternal Reblog because it’s fucking legendary.
You know that Ada Limón poem where she’s like “i can’t help it i love the way men love”? my dad recently confessed to me that he became a shoemaker because they buried my grandma shoeless
oh…………………………………
Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds - Ada Limón
You know that Ada Limón poem where she’s like “i can’t help it i love the way men love”? my dad recently confessed to me that he became a shoemaker because they buried my grandma shoeless
oh…………………………………
Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds - Ada Limón
lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own
“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.
I’ve been doing this for years
It’s all on a google doc of mine (x)
Some of the rawest shit ever uttered
The Order of Sancta Klarabella
Around a century ago, Klarabella, once a heroic knight of the order of the Last Prayer, departed on a crusade of her own and at the cost of her own life she breached the gates of Castly Hushabye and silenced the last know Great Horror… ushering in the new age of peace.
Not accepting her name and memory be struck from the Book of Prayers - as per the creed of their order - a small group of her most loyal companions deserted and founded their own order in reverence of her name.
Soon after Klarabella’s disappearance, a strange, yet rare disease began afflicting girls and women of the villages across the valley - known as the Pale Heart by the common man, or Klarabella’s Murmurs by those devout to her name.
Wracking their chests with searing agony as if their hearts were caught in a vice of noxious, eroding poison and claims of a distant voice echoing from deep inside. Death is slow, but always assured as the mind is soon overcome by madness and their bodies so weakened by pain they are no longer able to move. Their hair turning pale and the color of their eyes fading into green… both traits of the lost hero.
The order of Sancta Klarabella keep their doors open to these poor women, inviting them onto their hallowed grounds with promise of care, treatment and a longer life in service of something greater. Such is their dedication that only those afflicted by the disease are allowed to stay. Those who’ve heard the voice. The hero’s call.
Each new disciple is treated like a sister, provided a cell and vestments of their own and given time to meditate and listen to the faint whisper in their heart. Beyond this, very little is taught between sisters - new or senior. There is no leader and no followers. Learning is very individual, developing through their commune with their heart. While not able to understand the words, things begin to make sense on their own and each sister simply knows what they have to do.
Every new member will soon find themselves with a hammer in hand at the cathedral’s massive forge, for just like their hero, they too, soon become masters of the anvil. With every strike at the black steel - with every beat of their own heart - their hand is guided by a blazing will from deep within. Here they will shape themselves a suit of black armor and hammers of war. For they know what must be done.
Along with their armor and weapon, they also craft a sigil of red wax, seated on a plate of Aberrant Silver, to fasten on the left side of their vestments. Its design is very personal, often depicting something very important in their life before they joined the convent.
It is also a custom to adorn their belongings with words they’ve managed to hear clearly from the voice.
Iconic to their visage is their extensive use of Aberrant Silver, also known as Blackened Silver, Deep Wood Silver or just Black Steel. Silver so exposed and weathered by the mist’s presence it turned completely black and harder than any steel known to man, while still maintaining its warding nature. So hard in fact that no other forge has managed to shape it after their will. A secret only known to the master blacksmiths of the order of Sancta Klarabella.
Aberrant Silver is very rare, so where they get such vast amounts is a mystery in itself… and for most - a cause for suspicion.
While the order is in good standing with the surrounding villages, they rarely see eye to eye with the other knight’s orders. Their mission is very personal and they have no patience for politics once clad for battle.
Despite their by now rather holy reputation - due to the reverence of Klaraballa’s name by the wider population - there still lingers seeds of doubt. For the longer the knights of Klarabella endures, the whiter their hair fade and the clearer green their eyes become. White hair in itself is a social stigma - with their fate tied to the will of the mist - or such is the belief. Earning them less respectable names such as The Hammer Crones or the White Haired Coven.
Regardless, many pilgrim to the cathedral to donate supplies or food and maybe find a moment of peace to just sit in calmness. Since prayer is no longer permitted in the valley, this is the closest they can come to to pay respects and find a connection to something holy.
Few have witnessed the sisters in battle, but those that have could swear what they saw is no longer human. For such is their furor that feats of strength beyond comprehension is not only possible, but also exceeded. Their hammers slamming down with the brutality of giants with tooth, bone and chitin shattering against their Aberrant Silver like glass. Rumors even say that those with the palest of hair, the otherwise silent ones, can boom out a shrieking howl so horrid and seething with rage it could rip any creature into bloody shreds; scattering the denizens of the mist into a panicked disarray - rivaling even the mighty chimes of the towering Silver Bells.
Just as the disease makes their heart weak and wrung in throes - if faced with the unspeakable monsters of the mist - it can also imbue them with the last strength Klarabella mustered at her assault on Castle Hushabye. Like a remnant memory of her rage taking hold of their body, allowing them to perform monstrous feats of violence… at the cost of their ailment progressing faster to its final stages.
The cathedral and the surrounding courtyard of the order is considered hallowed ground as no creature has ever dared to enter. The bell tower stands silent without a bell, so it can only be assumed the close commune with the sacred hero is enough to ward the area clear from the mist’s influence. That and the constant hammering of the Aberrant Silver anvils. The collective heartbeat of the order of Sancta Klarabella.
The picture in the background of the second one
Tama is boss
THE TRAINS HAVE CARTOON TAMAS ON THEM
Sad update everyone, Tama recently passed away… An estimated 3,000 people, including railway officials, attended Tama the cat’s funeral on Sunday, days after she died of heart failure aged 16. [x]
For those who haven’t read articles about it, the local shrine elevated her to a god. She’s now the Eternal Stationmaster and patron god of the station.
Beautiful.
Now I’m crying thanks
and a new cat was hired right?
yep! her name is Nitama (essentially ”second tama” or “tama II”) and she served under Tama as an apprentice before being appointed her deputy
she works very hard
Everytime this crosses my dash, I reblog. It is the law.
I’m crying at 11pm over train cats
Nitama, already now a mature cat (born 2010), has a protege named Yontama (fourth Tama, b. 2016). There is no information available for either the physical befellment or tragic self-disgrace which has removed Santama from contention.
^Nitama majestic, and below with Yontama
Yontama.
a legacy
okay but actually what happened to santama (or sun-tama-tama, which is her name because it’s a pun on santama) was that she was basically sent to train for the position in okayama and they liked her so much they refused to send her back
“Sun-tama-tama” (a pun off of “Santama”, lit. “third Tama”) was a calico cat sent for training in Okayama. Sun-tama-tama was considered as a candidate for Tama’s successor, but the Okayama Public Relations representative who had been caring for Sun-tama-tama refused to give the cat up writing, “I will not let go of this child, she will stay in Okayama.” [25]
As of September 2018, Sun-tama-tama is working as the stationmaster in Naka-ku, Okayama and appears occasionally on Tama’s Twitter account.
Every time I see this post there’s new info and it gets better
I tried very hard not to reblog station cat saga. Can't wait for the anime
HE THREW THE NOTHING AWAY JUST TO MAKE A FUCKING POINT
Drama Emperor Alfred Pennyworth
The mashup you never thought would work
Congratu-fucking-lations.
I would pay so much to have this as a ringtone I’m not even joking.
Why?????
The face I made while listening to this was so visceral I had to draw it before reblogging it
How…dare…
I literally hate everything about this fucking website but especially this
My mouth legitimately just dropped open….
I didn’t ask for this
came for the mash-up. Reblogged for the art and the bird gif.
Holy fuCK
Considering Phantom of the Opera is mine and my other half’s ‘song’
I want to show this to him immediately
But
….what?
How……what…..why????
…I want this to ring in class
I have… mixed feelings about this
I actually love it and want it on my iTunes
why does it work so well together
thanks, i hate it
ITS BACK ON MY DASH YAY
Holy heck.
>>:[
I can honestly say that even with all the comments, I was in no way prepared for this hell-tune. I love it
This is my favourite VR video ever. 😂
My kinda VR content
4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Speedrun
its not even music anymore it’s just a shockwave that kills you instantly
worth every second
Oh… my… God… I’m not even putting this onto the personal blog… I need this on my main. Right now.
i was expecting this video to be 4 seconds like, i can barely even hold my own attention for that long let alone two kittens
Goddamn if I didn't watch every second
This will never not be relevant
The most monumental even in human history was the reddit VS 4chan battle in Tribes Ascend where 4chan pulled it back in the final 10 seconds and you just hear GO GO GO GO GO GO as fucking Galo Sengen starts playing in the bg and then 4chan wins
I don’t even understand the inside jokes on this but please just watch the first few and the final few minutes they’re unreal
SHAZBOT
4chan once again throwing out all concept of logic and reason
an idea i’ve been meaning to do but never managed until now
also i apologize if anything is inaccurate, I did as much research as possible ;w;
Honestly this is so well done and so sniper is basically 95% accurate so id just be nitpicking. Amazing work
He set him free
So, I haven’t been posting consistently for the past couple of weeks because I’ve been ripping and tearing through the hordes of hell in Bethesda’s new DOOM game, oh and what a fucking game it is!! There are few experiences as emotionally exhilarating as when you are violently blasting through fucking droves of demons while the game serenades you with glorious heavy metal. If you haven’t, please play it!
Recently, I beat the game, and I bought a cute DoomGuy POP Vinyl to add to the toy collection. Please enjoy some of the best doom game tidbits I found on Tumblr. Some of it’s pretty funny!
DoomGuy is the epitome of humanity, fuck yeah
Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.
This is genuinely beyond big dick energy
It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)
Holy shit
Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.
Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.
I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go. For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.” Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*” It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic. Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him.
^ That is great.
I’m reminded of this scene:
A sorta ultraviolent Zen
Nirvana through slaughter
