Jenny Holzer, Living: Someone wants to cut a hole in you … (Text: Living (1980-82), 1981).

a lot of life can be persevered thru by secretly playing pretend in your mind the whole time

guardian angel

choices made in anger is such a crazy image. if you know what i'm talking about

i'm gonna thrup

vampirism poses the question "what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?" and naturally as a person with no problems I don't relate to this in any way at all.

https://www.instagram.com/manonpaardenkooper/

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

EVERYTHING SINGS: a collection l’année terrible, victor hugo / red desert (1964) dir. michelangelo antonioni / unknown / rocket men: the epic story of the first men on the moon, craig nelson / the brooklyn daily eagle, new york, march 7, 1886 / suspiria (2018) dir. luca guadagnino / teaching a stone to talk, annie dillard / red bird, 'summer morning', mary oliver / the overview effect: awe and self-transcendent experience in space flight / jeff buckley / scientific future by valentino bellucci / joe dispenza / rilke and andreas-salomé: a love story in letters, rainer maria rilke / unknown / jwst image of 'cosmic cliffs' / alan ginsberg

I think I hate my father.

The Sun is Also a Star, Nicola Yoon | Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle | pinterest comment | Anatomy of Cat and Dog Skeletons, William Cheselden (quote unknown) | Father, The Front Bottoms | I'm the Villian in his history., Nat (Oh Fathers, Key Ballah) | @/inkskinned on tumblr | Thomas Builds-the-Fire, Smoke Signals, Sherman Alexie | no children art print, Rainboon | Untitled, Franz Wright | Franz Kafka in a letter to his father | Seventeen Going Under, Sam Fender | Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong (from Night Sky With Exit Wounds)

collected anne carson: pdf

finally tracked down a pdf of ‘glass, irony & god’ which you can find here

i'm literally the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb because i am so docile and sweet and i hold very still when they put the rope around my neck and i trot along so happily while they lead me to the altar and they do not even have to tie me down because i lie so very still and only bleat once or twice in my lovely lamb voice and when the knife comes down it cuts through me like butter and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my new white wool and my guts all unspool like the most beautiful shining yarn and my eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusation and every time i die i come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice every time and he always places one hand on my small and twitching nose to calm me while he lifts the knife and he doesn't do it for the other lambs only me because i'm his favorite

breathing organism

do you understand........

oozing black ichor btw. if u care.