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I have no idea what I'm doing

@theultimatep0tato

22, cis female, human garbage. X-Files, Steven Universe, horror, shitposts, animals, and other stuff that makes me happy. Sometimes there will be mood swings, thanks depression.
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Take care okay guys? I promise y’all I’m not dead or anything just not on tumblr.

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theballadofmrslovett

we should domesticate seals

u ring someone’s doorbell and instead of hearing a dog’s bark u hear a super deep terrifying seal bark and u hear a loud wet flopping noise

that’s the world i want to live in

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theballadofmrslovett
❝ My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities…like the ability to b e h a v e  myself.❞

 My official Nymphadora Tonks cosplay.  (Pictures taken at Universal Studios, Orlando)

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theballadofmrslovett

the houses as things my dad has done

gryffindor: allowed his kids to go wild attacking him with water pistols in front of his peers and a lot of electrical equipment
hufflepuff: almost died dancing to 'cotton eyed joe' in a lion costume in church on the hottest day of the year
slytherin: got drunk and censored the wrong part of m******fucker
ravenclaw: walked into a pole because he was too busy admiring the architecture of a bridge
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iambraverism
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appalachianetiquette

Saw this cool bug in the graveyard but I’m no good with identifying things of the bug variety.

That’s some sort of Fae. Offer it milk in a shallow bowl and fresh steel cut oats with cream and butter.

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appalachianetiquette

Finally someone gives me a straight answer. Cicada this and cicada that, I knew there had to be more to it.

slutty-ankylosaurus

It’s actually just an extrovert and it put on it’s fancy wings to convince you to go to a party with it. I know all you tumblr nerds are big introverts but that’s no excuse for calling it a bug.

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iambraverism

Bisexuals in committed monogamous relationships have not chosen a “side,” they have chosen a person.

Thank you and have a blessed day.

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guy
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joseph-joestop

friend: makes a typo

me: makes fun of the typo, repeats the typo for the next ten minutes straight, makes puns based on the typo, names my firstborn after the typo

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