no emoji

Laura: ……and I know that you didn’t do everything for me

Carmilla, internally: 

LMAO

I have tears

that audience shot oh my word

This is hilarious and I feel it’d be even funnier with context

Idol fans plz explain

Japanese idols are generally contractually forbidden from dating or marrying because as an Idol their personhood is a commodity and they are selling the glimpse of an idea of a potential relationship to lonely otakus.

Idols are meant to be pretty, fun, cute, and flirtatious, so that fans can fantasize about being with them which drives sales of branded merchandize.

An Idol that has romantic or sexual pursuits is no longer perceived as available, in addition to it conflicting with fetishized virginity.

Basically, the Idol industry in Japan is the epitomy of a misogynistic sex-sells industry where the product is a fantasy relationship with a woman who is performing to make herself desirable. 

Many, many idols are extremely salty about this and will go to great lengths to mock and disparage the system, but they can’t do much to get it changed or go against it because their entire career will be destroyed if it is publicly discovered that they have or have had anything close to a relationship or sex.

And the companies absolutely do fire idols who do so, and destroy any potential they have as a career public figure for the rest of their lives. It’s horrifying.

So, in response for portraying a forever single virgin that can’t date, she savagely drags her “fans” who are more likely actual forever single virgins who will never get a date because they fantasize about getting with a highly fictionalized celebrity personality :v

the fucking burn she unleashed oh my god

don’t make me laugh. i’ll choke.

i want to fucking die i was at the dollar store and i carefully picked up an orange gatorade and went “sexy boy….” because i thought no one else was around but it turns out i was WRONG

i know because i heard a quiet “what the fuck bro” from the next aisle over

my question is why were you calling an orange gatorade “sexy boy”

how i feel about orange gatorade is none of your buisness

when will any pop star ever go as hard as everybody knows shit fuck man

he’s not “everybody knows shit fuck man”. he has a name. its solid snake

photos of an abandoned love hotel @ aleia on insta

Star Wars Lightsaber Duels Paintings by Brian Rood

*talking to a gay couple*

So which one of you is… you know… the one who doesn’t fucking text back?

Oh my god

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

I live in Korea and have a lot of international friends, and the same is true with language barriers in adults. 

*Looking at a bowl of pears* “Can you please pass me the… apple’s friend?” 

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

idk what’s funnier, pets with stereotypical human names like bryan and mckayla or pets with completely ridiculous names like hamburger and concrete

I’m screaming??? So my cat knows I get upset when he steps on my paintings (not yelling or anything I think he just sees me spend hours trying to cover up what his paws do) in my “studio” which is a crammed small storage closet with painting all over the floor drying , so like I’m in there rn and I saw him try to get to point A to point b but it was impossible for him to jump over so like he realized the matte parts were dry and like he was stepping on the corners of the painting and every step he’d look at his paw to see if he fucked up and honestly it was the most thoughtful thing ever I don’t ever wanna hear anyone ever say that cats don’t care

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

…you’re lucky I’m a stubborn asshole because these took way longer to make than I’d like to admit.

holy fucking shit

did you just gif the whole fucking movies

Fucking genius

Bitch, EVEN THE CREDITS??

THIS DUDE JUST MADE GIFS OF ENTIRE MOVIES HOLLY SHIT

I JUST GOT MY ENTIRE LIFE! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

My childhood in one gifset 💜